Whitney Houston Is Really Trying To Stay Off That Crack Pipe

June 4, 2011 / Posted by:

As Bobbaaaaaay B tries to sleep off the drunks on airplanes, Whitney Houston is still trying to kick the urge to suck on a crack pipe until her brain turns to fog. When Whitney started outpatient rehab last month, there were rumors that she was getting help after getting back on that whack shit. Whitney has yet to talk about this. But TMZ says that she’s really trying to keep clean and has hired a life coach to help her.

A source says that Whit just finished up that 30-day outpatient program and is now working with a life coach who is living with her and trying to keep her from dancing something evil in a cloud of crack smoke. The source went on to say, “She really wants it this time.”

Whitney’s singing voice now sounds like a porcupine scooting a fart over a sheet of sandpaper, but I’m sure once this life coach sorts her out she’ll be as good as new!

Take all the time you need, Whit! Pop that crack habit the way Bobby used to pop your doody bubbles! Don’t worry, Maya Rudolph is leaving her family so that she can play you full-time while you get your shit together.

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