Megan Fox Was Too Much Of A Thinker For Michael Bay

June 3, 2011 / Posted by:

It’s no surprise to hear that feminist icon and prolific philosopher Megan Fox had issues working with Michael Bay who seems like the type who has a hard time communication with women unless they’re made out of cardboard. So what Shia LaDouche told the L.A. Times about Megan Fox leaving the Transformers franchise isn’t exactly earth-shattering news, but the way he puts it is pretty hilarious.

Shia is basically saying that what Michael Bay looks for in an actress is a Real Doll who operates via voice command, because he’s too busy finger banging his b-hole and jacking his peen over the explosive special effects to operate a remote control. And Megan Fox refuses to be treated like a piece of silicone ass.

“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women.

Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.

Rosie [Megan Fox’s replacement] comes with this Victoria’s Secret background, and she’s comfortable with it, so she can get down with Mike’s way of working and it makes the whole set vibe very different.”

There are so many subtle shank pokes at Michael worth noting, but I have to give all my attention to SPICE GIRL STRENGTH! Is Shia really using the Spice Girls as an example of feminism. He’s right. I’ve always seen the lyrics to Wannabe as the official feminist oath. And I bet Shia thinks Monroe Ficus from Too Close For Comfort is an icon for gay rights (which he totally is).

Shia brings up a good idea, though. Feminist and Armani panty model Megan Fox should totally join the Spice Girls, because I’ve always thought they would be so much better if they had a Smart Slut Spice.

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