The Relationship We Thought Wouldn't Last Didn't Last
I knew this day would come someday, but I thought it would be in a few months from now when grainy cell phones pictures of Sean Penn doing a line of the bad shit off of a relief worker's thigh in a tent in Haiti would show up on the front page of The News of the World. But nope, today is the day that ScarJo woke up and realized that she was done humping on a water damaged leather duffel bag filled with douche water. Yup, she's done enough leather bag humping to last her a few lifetimes. The details from People:
Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are no longer dating, a source tells PEOPLE.Speculation about the pair began after Johansson did not attend the Cannes Film Festival with Penn for his movie The Tree of Life. She has been working on The Avengers in New Mexico, reprising her role of Black Widow from Iron Man 2.
Johansson, 26, and Penn, 50, made headlines when they took a whirlwind trip to Cabo San Lucas after being spotted getting flirty together during a lunch date in Los Angeles.
Spokeswhores for both ScarJo and Sean Penn kept their lips shut about this.
Weren't there a few blind items that insinuated that ScarJo had a case of the BABIES??!!! Either the impossible has happened and a blind item is not true, or ScarJo's going to pull a January Jones. Maybe she'll run back to Ryan Reynolds and tell him that the baby is his. Everything will be candy coated rainbows until ScarJo gives birth to a baby with a German Shepherd face and a hankering for tying hos to chairs. Ryan's eyes will widen, ScarJo will scream and the baby will beat all of them with a bat. If life was Telemundo, that's what would happen.
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Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:38pm
NOW. About this, "Crazy fuckin' bitches" thing being written as some sort of bad connotation? Doesn't that describe 99.8 % of the 'regulars' here? Well? WELL? ;)
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*steps to the front of the line, salutes*
Dlisted crazy bitch reporting for duty (and damn proud of it). Besides, aren't the crazy fuckin bitches the most fun anyways?
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:41pm.
@moomarse: It's a minefield out there!
@Fraggle: Yeah, but Terri Ann is a Brangeloonie. We have to draw the line SOMEWHERE!
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I was thinking of her..... she was out there for sure!! Terri Ann...... where is she now?
Yeah, who cares?!?!
@ Madam Pince - I would love to see Scarjo and Ryan back together.... I think he's the stable person that she needs in her life. She's been too slutty for me...... oh wait, we're all sluts here huh???? oh emm gee....what a hippo I am?!?!?... ;D
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:27pm.
@csg: What a nice story. And ITA - that kid's gonna rock out. (Watch her become a botanist or some shit;p)
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LOLZ at botanist...or an accountant, librarian, or nun. I'm going to go out on a limb and bet that Pink's daughter will turn out to be very traditional (much to her mother's dismay).
I really do like Pink, tho and wish her and her family all the best.
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:38pm.
Nope, sorries. I mean to watch it. I got that from a spoof video on youtube.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:38pm.
I'M THE MEGA FUCKIN BITCH HERE IN MY WORLD! Gotta Problem Wit Dat??? heehee!!!
@moomarse: It's a minefield out there!
@Fraggle: Yeah, but Terri Ann is a Brangeloonie. We have to draw the line SOMEWHERE!
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
dementa on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:27pm.
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
dementa, totally off-topic question, but are you a fan of the movie, "They Live" per chance? Because that quote always reminds me of it. lol I own that DVD and have a lot of the hilarious one-liners memorized (of course, you have to exchange 'tea' for 'bubblegum').
moomarse on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:25pm.
wait.... is "Terri" one of these crazy fuckin' bitches? damn!
Terri can have her opinions. Oh well. I disagree with her but I've read worse here.
NOW. About this, "Crazy fuckin' bitches" thing being written as some sort of bad connotation? Doesn't that describe 99.8 % of the 'regulars' here? Well? WELL? ;)
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It wouldn't surprise me one iota if ScarJo went running back to Ryan Reynolds. And he'd take her back, too. Pathetic.
I'm not a fan of Pink's music, but I like her as a person, and I thought she was going to give her baby a traditional name too. But Willow Sage is nice.
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"Don't think that I'm not in the process of training him to sit still in a basket while I lower it down to the sidewalk from my window so that I don't have to put on sweats to take him out!"
Submitted by dementa on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:27pm.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:16pm.
People who say "only in America" usually don't know squat about other countries.
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LOL! My mom (who is not native to the USA) says that all the time! Granted, she only ever says it as a compliment*, not as an insult.
*Case in point off the top of my head: the picture MK posted a few months back of a fireman with a kitten wearing an oxygen mask after said fireman rescued the kitten from a fire -- my mom said "Only in America!" (but she meant it as a compliment that Americans, in general, love animals so much).
She looks beat.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:27pm.
Submitted by moomarse on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:25pm.
wait.... is "Terri" one of these crazy fuckin' bitches? damn!
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LOL! That's Terri Ann.
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You can never be too sure, eh? ;P
Submitted by moomarse on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:25pm.
wait.... is "Terri" one of these crazy fuckin' bitches? damn!
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LOL! That's Terri Ann.
@csg: What a nice story. And ITA - that kid's gonna rock out. (Watch her become a botanist or some shit;p)
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:16pm.
People who say "only in America" usually don't know squat about other countries.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:07pm.
Awww, she actually gave her baby friend a semi-normal name. I'm not fond of "Willow," but it is a real name unlike Audio Science or Pilot Inspektor.
Submitted by heathen on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:16pm.
Either she'll have an abortion and claim she had a miscarriage, or she'll have an abortion and claim she was never pregnant at all.
The least probable option is that she'll actually have the kid, thus ensuring several more months of eagle-eyed press attention, plus possible child support.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
wait.... is "Terri" one of these crazy fuckin' bitches? damn!
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:07pm.
Willow Sage Hart! I WIN!
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Congrats Angle! Is that really the baby's name?
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Yup! I'm very happy for her! Even if it's a girl (she strikes me as the type that would REALLY want a boy, for many reasons:)
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I had a boss who was very tough, very aggressive and when she got pregnant we all thought "Let it be a boy, you know that's what she wants". I found out at her baby shower that she secretly REALLY hoped for a girl (both her mom and sister told me, so I believed them). She had her girl and was thrilled. Watching her interact with the baby revealed a completely different side of her - I didn't recognize her at all. I'll bet Pink's baby is going to turn her world upside down (for the better).
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by Terri on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:01pm.
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
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I love pink! and if having girls is a fault, well, count my grandma, my mom, me, and my daughter as dumb sluts or something.... with each generation we keep learning about ourselves. that's what I believe! congrats to Pink and her babeh girlfriend foreveh!!!!
CandyPerfumeGirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:16pm.
Since when is fucking for a couple of weeks considered dating? Only in America. Redneck nation filled with people who have the morals a notch under that of an alley cat.
Actually, minorities have the most out-of-wedlock birth rates (and that's even with Margaret Sanger's abortion clinics around every poor neighborhood corner).
White and Asian people just don't fuck as much (lower testosterone).
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DIRK!!!!!!!!!
Since when is fucking for a couple of weeks considered dating? Only in America. Redneck nation filled with people who have the morals a notch under that of an alley cat.
...
.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I'm with those voting miscarriage or abortion. One or the other, because she was definitely preggo at that WH press dinner (or whatever it is called). Now Sean can enjoy his hookers & 8-balls in peace & quiet.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:07pm.
Willow Sage Hart! I WIN!
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Congrats Angle! Is that really the baby's name?
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Yup! I'm very happy for her! Even if it's a girl (she strikes me as the type that would REALLY want a boy, for many reasons:)
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:07pm.
Willow Sage Hart! I WIN!
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Congrats Angle! Is that really the baby's name? Willow doesn't seem like a name Pink would go with. For some reason I thought she would shock everyone and go with a really traditional name.
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:06pm.
Submitted by Terri on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:01pm.
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
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Yay Pink, I hope mama and baby are healthy and happy! I like Pink and think she'll make a great mom. Although it would be hilarious if her daughter turned out to be like Suri.
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Yup LOVE Pink - resisted the bubblegum factory and is a huge animal lover. Tres cool - hope all is well for mommy and daughter!!! BTW: More like her daughter will be a kick-ass cool chick! Suri never stood a chance - considering that Mapother cous. is her dad!! Anyway....Congrats!
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:06pm.
Submitted by Terri on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:01pm.
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
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Yay Pink, I hope mama and baby are healthy and happy! I like Pink and think she'll make a great mom. Although it would be hilarious if her daughter turned out to be like Suri.
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Willow Sage Hart! I WIN!
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Terri on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:01pm.
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
She must have good karma then. ;)
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OMG! My funky old website is still on Waybackmachine.org:
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Download my 3 free fonts:
http://www.dafont.com/ang.d1481
Submitted by Terri on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:01pm.
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
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Yay Pink, I hope mama and baby are healthy and happy! I like Pink and think she'll make a great mom. Although it would be hilarious if her daughter turned out to be like Suri.
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
speaking of baybees....P!nk had a little girl. Karma's one big bitch.
So the 'knocked up' rumors are hopefully false? LOL
_ _
OMG! My funky old website is still on Waybackmachine.org:
http://web.archive.org/web/20030410133101/http://darkseraphim.com/ds/dar...
Download my 3 free fonts:
http://www.dafont.com/ang.d1481
Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:43pm.
this is sean penn.
she discovered he takes more drugs than a bingo convention, can't keep an erection and takes 4 hour greasy dumps 3xs daily. he doesn't shower, smokes a carton a day and has chronic anal drip with over active sweat glands. he beat on her, he cheated on her, verbally abused her, threatened her family, ex and pets while jerking off in her face and jamming a cold carrot up his ass.
this is sean penn.
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*frantically googles "Sean Penn's Publicist Contact Information" while praying for time to get to him before he hooks up with another Hollywood slut*
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Did it shock anyone? It was a rebound, they had nothing in common, and he's an asshole.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
this is sean penn.
she discovered he takes more drugs than a bingo convention, can't keep an erection and takes 4 hour greasy dumps 3xs daily. he doesn't shower, smokes a carton a day and has chronic anal drip with over active sweat glands. he beat on her, he cheated on her, verbally abused her, threatened her family, ex and pets while jerking off in her face and jamming a cold carrot up his ass.
this is sean penn.
-just an angry guy with a bag of (raul duke's) dicks
must confess find it kind of nice to imagine madonna coming along to wwhoop his ass about now.
do you think mr, dead man walking has ass whooping insurance?
he really is an ahole
she should stfu and continue her education
I am SHOCKED and DISMAYED and also alcoholic...
"Darling, I shall open doors to worlds of fuckery you never dreamed existed!"
MK coulda saved a lotta typing and eliminated all words except "douche water". That kinda says it all.
After weeks of trying, she finally realized acting ability isn't transferred via sperm. And that he's a self centered cokehead who will screw the coat check girl while you're in the other room.
If these two couldn't make it...blahblahblah
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
*rearranges sock drawer*
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"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony
My kind of relationship. : )
Kinda disappointed it didn't end more publicly.
The police arresting Penn for domestic violence.
ScarJo's tear stained face telling Oprah (first of many comeback appearances) of the brutality she endured at Penn's leathery hands.
TMZ's live coverage of what she wore to the court hearing.
Star Magazine claiming Angie stole Penn away from ScarJo.
Etc..
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Now I can delude myself that if I met ScarJo I would try to hit that and she would say yes.
I'm not a ScarJo fan but I'm glad that he didn't beat the shit out of her or traumatize her beyond (probably) cheating on her.
Wasn't there a BI that a high-profile actor was looking for his gf to get an abortion?
You don't say.
*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all
Miscarriage and bullet dodge for Penn gets my vote.