Lindsay Lohan Keeps Getting Jank Ass Monitoring Anklets

June 2, 2011 / Posted by:

BREAKING (three hours ago) NEWS, a monitoring anklet strapped to Lindsay Lohan hollered on Monday afternoon while answering the question: “Can this dumb bitch fuck up house arrest?” But wait. It isn’t what you think. LiLo didn’t think she was a regular CrackGyver by trying to cut the yellow wire so she could do bath salts with her friends in the bathroom at Chateau Marmont. The anklet was faulty and went off by itself. When the cops arrived, they found LiLo sunning on her roof top while reading scripts. LiLo’s lawyer explained it to E!:

“Lindsay’s electronic monitoring system went off on Monday. When a representative from the monitoring company went to her home, the representative found Lindsay there. The equipment was replaced the following day.”

The “reading scripts” part was a dead giveaway. That’s like your parents walking in on you studying chem on your bed while two naked hos holding a bottle of apple wine and a baggie of coke hide in your closet. LiLo should try to make it a little more believable next time. You know, they should walk in on her doing a vodka bong with Ali Lohan while White Oprah gives a lap dance to a hired john in the corner.

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