6 days ago, Amy Wino poisoned a beauty salon toilet by barfing into it and did a farewell shot of vodka before checking into rehab. Well, Wino must’ve done the Cliffs Notes version, because she is out of that bitch. (Cut to a rehab nurse sighing her nipples off with relief because Wino kept guzzling the hand sanitizer in her purse). Wino sat in a few meetings, overdosed on black coffee and cigarettes and is totally all cured now. The rehab walls, however, need a new coat since Wino chewed a few paint chips off for a quick buzz. Wino’s rep said this to The Sun:
“She is looking forward to playing shows around Europe this summer and is raring to go. She sends a huge thanks to all her fans for their support.”
Some people say that you should stay in treatment for at least 90 days before you safely enter the wild again. While they’re in there for the next 84 days, Wino will be slurping up their secret stash of hooch. Suckers. No. I’m sure Wino can’t even pronounce the word “vodka” anymore. Completely clean. That being said, beauty salon toilets will still be sleeping with their lids firmly sealed shut.