Fuck the whole “future King and Queen of England” shit, these two really have an amazingly successful career in dental poster modeling ahead of them. Look at all those teefs! So big! So many of them! Prince William and Duchess Kate are straight up teeth hoarders and I don’t even mind. This is obviously all part of the royal family’s campaign to dispel the stereotype that all Brits have teeth like a meth-ey llama who brushes with a chainsaw. It’s working!
You know how Prince Charles told Camilla that he wants to be reincarnated as her tampon? Well, I want to be reincarnated as Prince William’s floss. Actually, I really want to be reincarnated as Prince Hot Ginge’s Radiant Red Daily Pube Shampoo, but Prince William’s floss is my second choice.
Above is Prince and Princess Teefs on the cover of Vanity Fair, because they aren’t nearly on the cover of enough magazines even though every grocery store checkout looks like a stalker’s altar to the royal family. And below is the Blake Lively of England, Pippa Middleton, at the French Open yesterday.