Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling

May 31, 2011 / Posted by:

Thank OPRAH (after feeling the invisible palm of O on my forehead during her final sermon it feels only right to call God by her first name) for the LOOK AT ME stretch of beach in Malibu and for paparazzos with WiFi cards who immediately upload pictures on their laptops in their cars, because I completely forgot that Tori Spelling is knocked up with the 5th cast member of their reality show. Tori let her womb dome hang out and filled her chest gulley with sunshine as she strolled along the beach with her family. Good. Now I’ll never forget. The wonky and hard nipple on her belly won’t let me.

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