Amber Rose Didn’t Ask For This Life, Okay!?

Amber Rose, the Susan Powter of rap star hos, went on a pound sign-ridden Twitter rant the other day over Vibe Magazine allegedly filling their cover story on her with lies and stuffing fake words into her mouth. Kanye West taught Amber well in the art of Twitter tantrums, because this bald headed ho released a spray of hash tag fucks directed at Vibe. Amber doesn’t really specify as to which parts of Vibe’s story charbroiled her asshole, but Animal New York thinks it might be this little piece.

The high-profile relationship took a turn in Hawaii during Kanye’s recording sessions for his cathartic fifth album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. West booked an entire Honolulu studio indefinitely for 24-hour slots while a cast of artists joined him for long days of business. Rose allegedly didn’t take to the all-work, no-play atmosphere. “In Hawaii [Amber] was being obnoxious in the studio like, ‘What the fuck? I wanna fucking eat,’” says an anonymous source. “Kanye got so mad because here he is trying to record and she keeps talking about, ‘Let’s go back to the house, I wanna fuck. We haven’t fucked in two days.’ I left the room for 10 minutes and when I came back he [told her], ‘Yo get the fuck up out of here!’ She left the room crying.

Amber shouldn’t feel sad, mad or embarrassed about that mess since “Yo get the fuck up out of here” is the same thing Kanye quietly said to Taylor Swift before kidnapping the mic from her. It’s also what Kanye says to humbleness anytime it tries to get on him. But Amber is still mad and this is what she blasted at Vibe.

Just read “my” interview in @VibeMagazine half of the story was untrue & ridiculous!

F##K that Cover F##K @VibeMagazine yall wrote a bunch of negative bullshit that I never said or did.

Yall don’t give a fuck that I have a Mom & Family thats gonna read that fake ass shit I gave yall a truthful interview & Yall f##ked me.

I’m so sick of keeping my mouth shut I didn’t ask for this life it was handed to me I was nothing but nice to everyone I spoke to @ Vibe

“I didn’t ask for this life it was handed to me” really is a classic quote that Amber should tattoo into her ass crack. I would wrap Amber Rose in a giant “BITCH PLEASE” but that would be cruel. Amber has been through enough! Amber has no choice but to pay her barber bills by giving interviews for absolutely no reason and flashing her nalgas in the likes of King Magazine. Amber can’t get a regular job, because there’s a good chance (and by “good” I mean “no“) she’ll be recognized and mobbed! You think about this the next time Kanye hands you his peen. If you accept, you might have to live the rest of your life on the step below the Kardashians on the famewhore ladder.

May we all say a prayer over our Memorial Day hot dogs today for Amber Rose’s struggles. It’s hard being Amber Rose.