Nobody does gross the way the Kardashians do gross and Kris Humphries knows this, so it wasn't gross enough for him to give Kim Kardashian a $2 million diamond engagement ring that weighs more than the extra crusty bead of slobber that comes trickling out of Khloe's mouth when she spots of family of goats in the distance. No, Kris had to go all the way gross by etching two bible passages into Kim's ring. That's what TMZ is saying. So far, only Kris, Kim, Pimp Mama Kris, the jewelers, God's lawyers and the editors of several tabloids know which bible passages are burned into the ring of a famewhore.
Seriously. We can laugh at how a family whose souls are simmering in jars in Satan's apothecary are quoting the bible in their gaudy ass rings, but we're assuming that the Kardashians consider the holy bible their bible, which you know they don't. They think the holy bible is just a hotel manual for their assistants to read. Obviously, the bible to them is Kardashian Konfidential (found on the bathroom stall floor of your local Barnes & Noble). So there's no reason to have a God Warrior meltdown over this. The only passages etched into Kim's ring are:
"I'm Armenian and I get oily" – Khloe 3:69
"I remember one day I was kissing Mason and he spit up in my mouth and I loved it." – Kourtney 2:6gross.
Or maybe they got really deep and etched this quote into her ring: "Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt" – The Book of Sir Mix-A-Lot
(Image via People )