Paula Abdul must be embarrassed as all shit today. Not because Kara DioGuardi publicly admitted that she ate 6 pot brownies at her house. No, because Kara DioGuardi publicly admitted that eating 6 pot brownies put her in the emergency room. Paula Abdul has a reputation to uphold and just can’t associate herself with a lightweight ho who almost died from eating pot! Lightweight bunny-toothed bitch! That’s what Paula said. Not me.
On Lopez Tonight last night, Kara said that she was staying at Paula Abdul’s house and “accidentally” ate 6 pot brownies in a row and didn’t know they were pot brownies even though pot brownies taste just like pot brownies. Paula Abdul was on vacation at the time.
About six hours later, Kara said she fell out of bed and started going on a beautiful trip that most of us will pay good money for. Kara’s stupid ass went on:
“There were these, little nuggets, little, you know, take six, not a lot. Six hours later I was like, ‘heeeey, what’s going on?’ I fell out of bed, on the floor, I stumbled downstairs and I was like, ‘I ate too much.’ And the ambulance comes and is like, ‘this bitch is as high as a kite.’ I was hallucinating, I was on an IV. I stumbled out like junkie … it was bad news!
I had six, I almost died.”
That description pretty much sums up Paula Abdul on American Idol.
Kara covered Paula’s ass by saying that the pot brownies were left by a friend after a party. I believe her. Paula doesn’t fuck with that toddler shit. Pot brownies are for babies who can’t hang! Paula only messes with OxyContin cakes and Adderall frosting.
But seriously, methinks that wasn’t pot in those brownies. Me also thinks that Paula Abdul now knows where her chocolate LSD balls went.