At the American Idol finale last night, Glamberace showed us what would it look like if Snow Miser sat hard on Heat Miser’s head and turned his flaming torch of follicles into a pile of ashes just itching for a phoenix (or whatever bird is available) to rise from it. If my abuelita saw this, she’d throw a plastic garbage bag over Glamberace’s hair and then toss it with the others in the backyard.
My abuelita was a hoarder decades before Hoarders existed. She used to keep bags of fireplace ash in the backyard for reasons unknown. Maybe she thought if she mixed the ashes with a little water she could use it paint her hair roots black. Or maybe she figured that if we ever acted the fool in the backyard, she’d have something heavy to hit us with. Thankfully, I was never hit with a bag of fireplace ash.
Here’s more of Glamberace with his tiny boyfriend Sauli Koskinen (or is it, Giant Glamberace with his normal-sized boyfriend) last night.