When Angelina Jolie is slowly slithering up to your baby friend, you should gently whisper in their ear that this isn’t what it looks like and she’s only there to feed her bulging forehead vein by stealing a sliver of their soul. She’s not there to adopt them so don’t freak out!
At the Los Angeles premiere of Tree of Life last night, Angie Jo created an impromptu manger scene when she leaned over a friend’s baby and then baptized him into the Church of Brangelina. Well, I call it “baptizing” but that’s not really what she’s doing. You know how scientists tag whales in the wild to track their every move? That’s basically what the SAINT OF BABIES is doing. That’s why when your kid is looking at a black t-shirt at The Gap, Maddox magically sweeps in and steals it from them.
Since Angie is wearing a color other than #000000 and Brad Pitt shaved the grandpa goat from his face, I will give him a pass on that greasy Young Mr. Burns hair.