Courtney Love On Lousy Lays, Benzos And Crazy Tea
Courtney Love gave an interview to The Fix about drug addiction and sobriety, and it's pretty what you would expect from a Courtney Love interview about drug addiction and sobriety. Courtney Love is an enigma marinated in dirty crack pipe water, wrapped in peyote skin, cooked on a plate of hot Adderall pills and served on the tongue of a mental hospital patient in a strait jacket. This is why Courtney gives a good interview! Bitch's brain is like a Whac-A-Mole of thoughts.
Before Courtney talked about being sober, she nursed a beer and then pointed to a bag of meds next to her bed (prescribed by a VERY reputable doctor, thankyouverymuch). And then Court got into it. Here's a few choice quotes:
On how she recommends this crazy tea she's never drank before: "You couldn’t pay me a billion dollars to take marijuana. I don’t really like coke anymore. I’m scared of ecstasy. The one drug I'd like to try one day is Ayahuasca, which should be mandatory for everybody. It’s apparently this crazy tea that gives you these intense hallucinations. Everyone who takes it sees a wise old black man who takes you on a wild journey. I’m not going to name names, but everyone who takes it sees the same black guy. I'm not kidding you. Everyone! "On how the wise old black man you see is not Morgan Freeman: "Shut up! No! My drug counselor did Ayahuasca with Sting one time and Sting spent an hour chasing a bee through Joshua Tree. I didn’t join in because losing control is not my jam. The few times I’ve been really drunk, I was plastered on tequila, which is no fun at all. One of those times was at the M.T.V. Awards, when I nearly fell on the floor because I took so many benzos. "
On how she's the Virgin Mary of drugs and almost every celebrity is an addict: "You know what's funny? People in the flyover states tend to think that all the celebrities on both coasts are constantly high. They think that we're all on some uber-drug. But the thing is, they're kind of right. But somehow most of them manage to function, more or less. The biggest celebrities and movers and shakers I know are also some of the worst alcoholics and drug addicts. But you'd never know it by looking at them. Now that I’m trying to stay sober, I try my best to stay away from that crowd, but it’s not always easy. These days, I’m very virginal when it comes to drugs."
On how not doing the bad shit has turned her into a nympho slut who thinks sex is overrated: "Yeah. After I stopped doing drugs I started to fuck like a bunny.... I had this Norma Desmond moment, I guess. I started sleeping with this dude who wasn’t so great, and then I hooked up with another dude who was in an open marriage, but he wasn’t so great, either. I'm a very sexual person, but in general, I think sex is kind of overrated. Most of the guys I sleep with have tended to be actors and musicians and directors. And they tend to be lousy lays. "
On how she wants to be a trophy piece: "Actually, these days I’m only interested in plutocrats. Like really, really rich guys. I’m determined to land one sooner or later. My favorite book these days is something called The Official Filthy Rich Handbook, which I study like the Talmud. The thing is, I think I can be a real asset to a wealthy man. I’ve always been a great girlfriend, but until recently I’ve struggled to stay single, because I had never been without a boyfriend before. It’s just my nature to couple up. I’m not saying that I’m completely monogamous—I’m too much of a libertine for that. But I’ve always craved real relationships."
On if her rock bottom was when she let a stranger suck on her tit for the cameras: "No, my bottom was snorting blow up Pamela Anderson’s ass! [laughs] Actually my real bottom was buying my pharmacists on both coasts wide-screen plasma TVs for Christmas!
The Pam Anderson roast on VH1 wasn’t a great moment for me, either. I was a mess. I had lipstick smeared all over my face. I was doped and dazed. I may have even been drooling. But it’s all Andy Dick’s fault, really. He handed me a pill right before the show and said, 'Courtney, take this, it’s like Vicodin without the aspirin.' It fucked me up bad. Winona Ryder slipped me a similar pill a few months earlier. I’m such an addict that I just swallowed them both, without asking what they were. So thanks to Andy Dick I ended up accidentally getting addicted to benzos, which went on to plague my life."
On rehab scholarships: "I spent 90 days at this ritzy rehab called Beau Monde. They accepted me on a scholarship basis, because I seriously had no money at the time."
On how ScarJo should play her in a movie: "A few months ago, at a party in Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson did a pretty spot-on imitation of me. She wrapped a bandage around her boobs and tumbled down a flight of stairs with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hands. But the truth is I’ve never had a drop of Jack Daniels. I hate the taste of hard alcohol. What I really like is wine."
On Dr. Drew: "I mean, I wouldn’t want to end up at Dr. Drew’s place. He’s such a phony, that guy."
Drinking beer.... Popping pills.... Talking about how she's craving hallucinogenic tea... Yup, this crazy bitch is completely 100% sober, DOCTOR!
By the way, do you think they sell that crazy tea at Starbucks, because I really need to spend some quality time with an old wise black man (played by George Clinton, preferably).
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I used to like her because she was so hard core, but then recently I saw the Documentary Kurt and Courtney and she was a little bitch! but then again you have to be a mega uber bitch to be succesful.
I think her cunty mood is getting old.
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Hi, my name is Kurt Cobain, I'm homosexual, I'm a pagan, I'm a drug abuser, and I like to fuck pot-bellied pigs! (12/02/91 at Newcastle, UK)
snowpiece on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:13pm.
who says "take" marijuana? Besides my Mom?
lololol snowy!!! I say that to my friends all the time when we're hanging out. *Eddie Murphy white people accent* "Would you guys like to take the pot?"
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:04pm.
Didn't Andy Dick also give drugs to Phil Hartman's wife?? And while she was high she killed him and then herself?
I was like five when all this happened so I may or may not have my facts straight and I'm a lazy fuck so I won't be googling it.
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It was said Andy Dick was her coke supplier that fateful day.
Booze + coke + antidepressants = one crazy bitch.
Shit, knowing my luck my black guy would be Flava Flav.
Ummm, all the people in the flyover states are alcoholics and drug addicts too, just we don't think it's fascinating and special. Also, as much as I try not to be prejudiced and hate everyone (not very hard), people who refuse to smoke the smokey smoke get a black, resin-y mark on their pure white cloud courtesy me, especially if it's for "health reasons". Props to her for using a big word like "plurocrat" though.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:40pm.
Yes because "really, really rich" guys can do no better than a 50 year old used up drug addicted psychotic whore from hell with a vagina like a fucking wizard's sleeve.
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I'm not understanding you, please use more descriptors.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
that explains why my downstairs neighbor's stereo is always playing but he is hardly ever home. i *knew* Hy Awaska was a strange name!
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"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions..There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to - the Twilight Zone."
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:29pm.
I prefer Idris Elba as my black guy
seconded.
actually, with so many potential choices, I'm wondering if I could take a huge shitload of that stuff so when I OD, all the brothers will come and whisk my spirit off to heaven. ooh baby. :D
My wise old black man is always Mr. T reprising his role of Clubber Lang from Rocky III.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:40pm.
Yes because "really, really rich" guys can do no better than a 50 year old used up drug addicted psychotic whore from hell with a vagina like a fucking wizard's sleeve.
that was, um, a really awesome visual. :D
*runs to trademark "Accidentally Addicted" and "I'm in Scholarship Rehab", T-shirts on the way*
This bitch can be articulate and entertaining.
I'm sure that all of her friends and cronies see the same old wise black man because all old black men look alike to them. Please. Bitch and her friends know four old black men: Morgan Freeman, Uncle Remus, Papa Oday (sp?), and the homeless guy they graciously give $1 to.
Typical addict. Blame everyone else instead of taking a good look at yourself.
If I work hard, one day I also hope to earn a scholarship to rehab.
I love how she always outs someone as a drug user. And that she wants us to believe that 'losing control' is not her 'jam'. Really? Because she's ace at it!
Didn't Andy Dick also give drugs to Phil Hartman's wife?? And while she was high she killed him and then herself?
I was like five when all this happened so I may or may not have my facts straight and I'm a lazy fuck so I won't be googling it.
@Submitted by NC-Ladee on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:53pm.
Sooooo many unanswered questions from that post.
OK - WTF is a 'flyover state?' Can't you fly over all of them?!
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The flyover states are what some cooler-than-thou people from the major cities in the northeast like to derisively call any state that lies between them and Los Angeles. I am guilty of using that word when something in the Midwest happens that annoys me...apologies. I give MK mad points for reading that article because I clicked off when the author said Court was swigging Stella while doing an interview for an addiction& recovery mag.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
I sure hope she doesn't land a really rich guy, because he might run for President, and if he won, we'd all be subjected to mandatory hallucinations of Rerun.
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What fresh hell is this?
Sooooo many unanswered questions from that post.
OK - WTF is a 'flyover state?' Can't you fly over all of them?!
Who 'takes marijuana?'
Who is this wise old black man she speaks of that pops up while in a drug induced state - and is it the same person for everyone, or can you pick a fav?
A nympho who thinks sex is overrated?! Isn't that an oxymoron?!
Courtney ....Courtney .... Courtney. It's because of you (and MK) that I can't ever take that commercial for Rosetta Stone seriously. You really should never speak without a translator.
Those hollowed out eye sockets = Meth Face.
Blech...
~~~ What doesn't kill you will make you stronger ~~~
http://www.bouncingbearbotanicals.com/ethnobotanicals-ayahuasca-products...
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
faces of meth....the one drug she didn't mention. i think. i lost track in her ramblings.
There's a lot to choose from here, of course, but what the hell does she mean by "this Norma Desmond moment"? Does she even know who that is?? Norma Desmond wasn't a promiscuous slutbag pedophile whore, chasing men 1/3 her age. She was a delusional, hagfaced hasbeen who imagined she was still attractive and popular and in demand.
Oh.
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What fresh hell is this?
Did you know that her grandmother is the brilliant but little-known novelist Paula Fox? (I didn't know until last night.)
Paula had a kid whom she gave up for adoption (just as Paula's mom had abandoned Paula). Paula's daughter, as an adult, hired a detective to track down her birth mother, who learned for the first time that she was a grandmother (to Courtney). Courtney and Paula then met for lunch--predictably, a disaster.
So what's going on between CL and Francis Bean has long-running emotional and genetic components.
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"At the end of the day, they will pay the price for being a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat at a modest restaurant." (Alan Partridge)
She doesn't like the taste of hard alcohol but also talks about getting plastered on tequila...homegirl can't keep track of what the hell she's saying.
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:29pm.
I prefer Idris Elba as my black guy
For real.
losing control is not my jam.
Which explains your monstrous drug addiction how exactly?
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The few times I’ve been really drunk, I was plastered on tequila, which is no fun at all. One of those times was at the M.T.V. Awards, when I nearly fell on the floor because I took so many benzos.
Oh cool. Alcohol bad, benzodiazepines good.
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The biggest celebrities and movers and shakers I know are also some of the worst alcoholics and drug addicts.
Shouldn't this blind item come with a picture of Angelina Holie with her eyes black-rectangled out?
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I started sleeping with this dude who wasn’t so great, and then I hooked up with another dude who was in an open marriage, but he wasn’t so great, either.I sleep with have tended to be actors and musicians and directors. And they tend to be lousy lays
Maybe it's just you, Court.
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Actually, these days I’m only interested in plutocrats. Like really, really rich guys. I’m determined to land one sooner or later.
Yes because "really, really rich" guys can do no better than a 50 year old used up drug addicted psychotic whore from hell with a vagina like a fucking wizard's sleeve.
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I’m such an addict that I just swallowed them both, without asking what they were. So thanks to Andy Dick I ended up accidentally getting addicted to benzos, which went on to plague my life.
You were an addict but then he gave you a pill that made you an addict? Someone shoot this fucking asshole and put it out of its misery already.
I like this bitch, she's honest and doesn't take herself too seriously. It's a shame that she's such a mess, because she's actually pretty talented.
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"What doesn't kill you makes you want to shank a ho!" - Hotmami
I'm fucked then, great.
"I hate the taste of hard alcohol. What I really like is wine."
Got to admit that Courtney never disappoints.
Looks fresh as a daisy!
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
And the thing that digusts me most about her is she has always been the world's biggest name dropper. Its like bitch, you've been famous a while now, you don't need to constantly drop names so we'll think you're in the "in crowd".
every time she speaks she reminds me of those commercials in the 80's...this is your brain...this is your brain on drugs (shows a frying pan frying an egg)
Ok, after she had her first nose job in the early 90s and for the years she was with Kurt I thought she was really beautiful. Then she got fat. Then the People vs. Larry Flint period she looked great. Since then she has looked like shit. I wish she would quit fucking with her face, it just looks terrible now.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:22pm.
I prefer Bill Cosby on my trip, thankyouverymuch.
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That's just so you can raid his awesome wardrobe of cable knit sweaters.
I prefer Idris Elba as my black guy
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:25pm.
I started to read the 3rd paragraph and realized WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING???
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LOL! I know, right? She's a witch, I tellya.
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws
(thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
"Winona Ryder slipped me a similar pill a few months earlier. I’m such an addict that I just swallowed them both, without asking what they were. So thanks to Andy Dick I ended up accidentally getting addicted to benzos, which went on to plague my life.""
See? It's all Andy Dick's fault!!!
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
Well, I'll say this: she sure is a lot easier to understand with a translator.
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws
(thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
I started to read the 3rd paragraph and realized WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING???
I wonder if the black guy c love sees when she drinks the tea is the same black guy lillo sees everytime she gets onto trouble....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
*googles ayahuasca*
I'll take 10 boxes of this tea please!!
Oh Courtney you liar you!! Bitch will never be sober. She was born with a crack pipe in her mouth
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I got nuthin'
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 2:20pm.
Blaming Andy Dick and Wynonna? Really?
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For real. Blaming Andy Dick is going to be the new "those aren't my pants!"
Though he is responsible for Phil Hartman's death apparently...
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twerk those stumps!
I prefer Bill Cosby on my trip, thankyouverymuch.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Blaming Andy Dick and Wynonna? Really?
I'm pretty sure she was a cracked out mess long before that.
A George Clinton tea trip reminds me of Old Gregg:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydr8a3UHUy4
Wet-brain.
She doesn't like to lose control? She doesn't have any control of herself ever and not even in this interview. She babbles on manically.
I hate marijuana, too, though. Just makes me depressed and stare at the wall for a few minutes (but it always feels like hours) until I raid the fridge and fall asleep. Zzzzzzzz.
Are those tattoos or bruises?
bitch, if you take what ANDY DICK gives you, you deserve your fate.
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Court managed to make her new nose crooked. What a winner.
1. Fuck her for blaming Andy Dick for HER mess.
2. Scarjo would have played you if you died in 1999.
3. Marijuana is a no-no but doing heroin while pregnant is OK?
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twerk those stumps!