Courtney Love On Lousy Lays, Benzos And Crazy Tea

Courtney Love gave an interview to The Fix about drug addiction and sobriety, and it's pretty what you would expect from a Courtney Love interview about drug addiction and sobriety. Courtney Love is an enigma marinated in dirty crack pipe water, wrapped in peyote skin, cooked on a plate of hot Adderall pills and served on the tongue of a mental hospital patient in a strait jacket. This is why Courtney gives a good interview! Bitch's brain is like a Whac-A-Mole of thoughts.

Before Courtney talked about being sober, she nursed a beer and then pointed to a bag of meds next to her bed (prescribed by a VERY reputable doctor, thankyouverymuch). And then Court got into it. Here's a few choice quotes:

On how she recommends this crazy tea she's never drank before: "You couldn’t pay me a billion dollars to take marijuana. I don’t really like coke anymore. I’m scared of ecstasy. The one drug I'd like to try one day is Ayahuasca, which should be mandatory for everybody. It’s apparently this crazy tea that gives you these intense hallucinations. Everyone who takes it sees a wise old black man who takes you on a wild journey. I’m not going to name names, but everyone who takes it sees the same black guy. I'm not kidding you. Everyone!  "

On how the wise old black man you see is not Morgan Freeman: "Shut up! No! My drug counselor did Ayahuasca with Sting one time and Sting spent an hour chasing a bee through Joshua Tree. I didn’t join in because losing control is not my jam. The few times I’ve been really drunk, I was plastered on tequila, which is no fun at all. One of those times was at the M.T.V. Awards, when I nearly fell on the floor because I took so many benzos.  "

On how she's the Virgin Mary of drugs and almost every celebrity is an addict: "You know what's funny? People in the flyover states tend to think that all the celebrities on both coasts are constantly high. They think that we're all on some uber-drug. But the thing is, they're kind of right. But somehow most of them manage to function, more or less. The biggest celebrities and movers and shakers I know are also some of the worst alcoholics and drug addicts. But you'd never know it by looking at them. Now that I’m trying to stay sober, I try my best to stay away from that crowd, but it’s not always easy. These days, I’m very virginal when it comes to drugs."

On how not doing the bad shit has turned her into a nympho slut who thinks sex is overrated: "Yeah. After I stopped doing drugs I started to fuck like a bunny.... I had this Norma Desmond moment, I guess. I started sleeping with this dude who wasn’t so great, and then I hooked up with another dude who was in an open marriage, but he wasn’t so great, either. I'm a very sexual person, but in general, I think sex is kind of overrated. Most of the guys I sleep with have tended to be actors and musicians and directors. And they tend to be lousy lays. "

On how she wants to be a trophy piece: "Actually, these days I’m only interested in plutocrats. Like really, really rich guys. I’m determined to land one sooner or later. My favorite book these days is something called The Official Filthy Rich Handbook, which I study like the Talmud. The thing is, I think I can be a real asset to a wealthy man. I’ve always been a great girlfriend, but until recently I’ve struggled to stay single, because I had never been without a boyfriend before. It’s just my nature to couple up. I’m not saying that I’m completely monogamous—I’m too much of a libertine for that. But I’ve always craved real relationships."

On if her rock bottom was when she let a stranger suck on her tit for the cameras: "No, my bottom was snorting blow up Pamela Anderson’s ass! [laughs] Actually my real bottom was buying my pharmacists on both coasts wide-screen plasma TVs for Christmas!
The Pam Anderson roast on VH1 wasn’t a great moment for me, either. I was a mess. I had lipstick smeared all over my face. I was doped and dazed. I may have even been drooling. But it’s all Andy Dick’s fault, really. He handed me a pill right before the show and said, 'Courtney, take this, it’s like Vicodin without the aspirin.' It fucked me up bad. Winona Ryder slipped me a similar pill a few months earlier. I’m such an addict that I just swallowed them both, without asking what they were. So thanks to Andy Dick I ended up accidentally getting addicted to benzos, which went on to plague my life."

On rehab scholarships: "I spent 90 days at this ritzy rehab called Beau Monde. They accepted me on a scholarship basis, because I seriously had no money at the time."

On how ScarJo should play her in a movie: "A few months ago, at a party in Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson did a pretty spot-on imitation of me. She wrapped a bandage around her boobs and tumbled down a flight of stairs with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hands. But the truth is I’ve never had a drop of Jack Daniels. I hate the taste of hard alcohol. What I really like is wine."

On Dr. Drew: "I mean, I wouldn’t want to end up at Dr. Drew’s place. He’s such a phony, that guy."

Drinking beer.... Popping pills.... Talking about how she's craving hallucinogenic tea... Yup, this crazy bitch is completely 100% sober, DOCTOR!

By the way, do you think they sell that crazy tea at Starbucks, because I really need to spend some quality time with an old wise black man (played by George Clinton, preferably).

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by lauren2 on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:47am.

She is one to watch really, she always surprised me with her sense of realism. I am surprised she is in such a good shape really if she used to consume so many different drugs. Most of the people in the heroin rehab centers I know never dared to do more than one drug and they still regret going for it.

Submitted by z-listed on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:41pm.

"The few times I've been really drunk..." She actually said this!?!???!

Submitted by Infamous on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 11:23am.

(speechless)

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

Submitted by Oyster on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:13am.

I didn't see the black guy, but any form of DMT takes you to a place that has "beings"; mine were faeries. Unfortunately if consuming DMT was actually profound, hippies wouldn't be such d bags.

Submitted by yucko on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:17am.

If that tea can make me see James Earl Jones, especially in the setting of Long Ago and Far Away, I'm pretty sure I'd drink it.

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:52am.

Just keep on flyin over skank, no one here in the midwest wants your petri dish anywhere near our kids, homes or water supply.
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011

Submitted by clairey claire on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 2:57am.

Losing control is not her cup of tea? Bitch be funny!

Surely you should try a drug before saying it should be mandatory for everyone?

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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks

Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 1:18am.

Submitted by becky n sydney:

Courtney being Courtney:
http://fuckyeahcourtneylove.tumblr.com/post/4041409862/wax-my-anus

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I like the photo. She's going kind of Nan Goldin here. And I'd much rather sit next to her (or say, near her) at a dinner party than Paz (who would probably throw up on me), Lindsay (who would probably pickpocket me), Goopy (who would probably ignore me, which is fine by me since I really can't stand her ass), or LeAnne Rimes (who would probably be too busy Tweeting to engage in conversation).

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 12:29am.

Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:17pm.

This bitch can be articulate and entertaining.

I'm sure that all of her friends and cronies see the same old wise black man because all old black men look alike to them. Please. Bitch and her friends know four old black men: Morgan Freeman, Uncle Remus, Papa Oday (sp?), and the homeless guy they graciously give $1 to.

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That's funny.

I was thinking Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley or, if you're going in that direction, Jesus. LOL!

♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws
(thanks sugarfreeredbull:)

Submitted by KA on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 12:20am.

I don't care how "cool" you are. Using the phrase "flyover states" makes you a huge asshole. Everyone things it's such a glorious thing to live on the coast. People in the east are too jacked up to try and even reason with, because you're afraid you're about to get punched at any moment. People in the west are too concerned with how cool and hip they are to the rest of the world. The rest of us in the "flyover states" get along just fine without the rest of you.

Let's add something to my personal cool and hip factor: I know two people that have traveled to South America and have drank Ayahuasca. All they said is they puked their brains out and hallucinated to the point where they thought they were going to die. Nothing cool to envy.

It's funny to me how it's okay for a "former" drug addict to wish to do another drug. Also, it's funny that a benzo is supposed to be like "vicoden without the aspirin." She is seriously fucked in the head. Like that's any surprise.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK

Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 10:49pm.

if the tea makes George Clinton with Bootsie Collins...count me the fuck in!! That would be a fantastic high...maybe play some Parliament while you chase bees or whatever..."Gonna Turn that Motha Out!!!" indeed!! but on a serious note..Courtney is nuts and I hope they are ready to 5150 her insane ass...she is lloonngg overdue a long stay in the psych hospital...she sounds seriously schizo...I mean SERIOUSLY schizo...I think weed would actually help her crazy ass.

Submitted by Fraggle on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:24pm.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

This whole post!

"Bitch's brain is like a Whac-A-Mole of thoughts."

Fark. That one quote is me in damned spades. lmao *cries*

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Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 8:11pm.

Courtney will truly outlive all of us.

Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:52pm.

Still SO glad I've never drank or did drugs.

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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by Snowblood on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:30pm.

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*Courtney Love Mental Notes* ~

1) Go back to Joshua Tree. This time, drop (drink?) Ayahuawhatevera and chase bees. Don't forget camera.
2) Find plutocrat. Offer him cup of ayahuawowzawhatevera, drink with, discuss merits of becoming newly-virginated libertine.
3) re-up on Xanax
4) Find/hook up with Wise Old Black Man. Steal his mojo post-coitus. Give post-apologetic blow-job while he sleeps.
5) Buy pharmacist gigantic 3-D top-of-the-line super-mega-fucking-ridiculous TV.

6) What? What was I saying...

Submitted by mike on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:09pm.

Yeah, good luck with that plutocrat hunt, Court.

Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:00pm.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xib21p_hippie-endurance-test-420-editio...

Submitted by Tripitaka on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 6:11pm.

Evil, namedropping, money grabbing, narcissistic, murdering bitch. Shut up and go away you ugly plastic piece of shit.

Submitted by misslainey on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:58pm.

So, it's Andy Dick's fault you're a fuck up? Get bent, Court.

Submitted by BlueOrchid on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:55pm.

I love her!

Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:52pm.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:39pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:27pm.

Courtney being Courtney:
http://fuckyeahcourtneylove.tumblr.com/post/4041409862/wax-my-anus
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The most disturbing thing about that image is her gross hands.
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I've never even noticed her hands - yes, they are disgusting!
To me the most disturbing thing is that this pic could have been taken yesterday. Or could be taken next year. Or in 5 years time, if she's still alive. Courtney is Courtney. Her life is on a continual loop. :/

Submitted by BritsBaldHead on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:43pm.

Still love this bitch.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:39pm.

Alcohol and benzo's are not 'drugs'...they are 'coping mechanisms'...And if Gary Coleman is not available to be my wise black man, I want Webster...DIBS ON WEBSTER!!!

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:39pm.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:27pm.

Courtney being Courtney:
http://fuckyeahcourtneylove.tumblr.com/post/4041409862/wax-my-anus
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The most disturbing thing about that image is her gross hands.

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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:31pm.

1.) Who's writing this?
2.)Courtney Love is so up her own ass.
I guess she thinks everyone forgot all those bullshit rants she made to and about her daughter Francis Bean not too long ago. She sits and tries to act like some sort of former drug addict with experience in sophistication, bitch fuck you. The only experience you have is being a drugged out fame craving mess of a whore.

The person who would fuck Courtney Love really must be fucking desperate and have no gag reflex.
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Please get the fuck out ---->

Submitted by imabrat on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:28pm.

This is Lindsay Lohan in 5 years.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:27pm.

Courtney being Courtney:
http://fuckyeahcourtneylove.tumblr.com/post/4041409862/wax-my-anus

Submitted by yummy_pizza on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:26pm.

Nothing I didn't know already.

Man, Love is so manic and narcissistic. Her behavior is often a way to draw attention to herself, it seems. I mean, her outbursts, commentary, etc, not the drug part (mostly). I would HATE it if she were my mom. If I were Francis Bean, oh god, I'd be all sorts of messed up.

I sure did love Hole though. FUCK.

Submitted by soapopera4cam on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:21pm.

She is fiendin hard body

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:20pm.

My wise black man will be none other than the late Gary Coleman....What? When I start babbling Courtneyisms, my wise lil' man will promptly confront me with a "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Tiger?" Now that's some wisdom, right there...AND BACK OFF WHORES...DIBS ON ARNOLD!!! You bitches fight over Willis...*downs tea*

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by drock harvey on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:12pm.

With My luck it would be that crazy black guy who likes to suck her titties outside of wendys---and leave winona alone courtney and stop name dropping her in every interview---she should sue you for slander

Submitted by kylimayrow on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:10pm.

I cant stand people who lie about the drugs they use and what it is capable of, this junkie is high as a kite 24/7, that is the reason for the constant lying. Just admit your a fucking drug addict/user, cause everyone already knows your bullshit. I think it is also funny how she talks about only being into wine , hahaha this old hag probably drinks a bottle of jack a day. And to think a uber rich mofo would marry her hahahahahah, OMG her brain is so fried, does she not see what we see with our eyes? Once again it is the drugs, only someone that high would think they could still land a billionaire with the waste of flesh she is. BTW, Ayahuasca is a form of DMT, correct? Which I myself would like to try one day...

Submitted by Miami on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:04pm.

She's a bipolar mess who needs to quit both the good and bad shit and get on daily doses of Seroquel. Also, she is the last person who should be Tweeting.

Still, she is a talented musician. "Live Through This" by Hole is a fantastic album.

Submitted by fookyoo on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:00pm.

I just love CL.. She is such great fuckin entertainment.

Noton stage mind you.. just by reading her quotes and interviews.

You know how its fun to wind up a crazy ol' Uncle at Xmas purely for shiz 'n' giggles?? That is why CL must sit her crazee arse down at the table at my fantasy dinner party. She'd pass out before dessert and by then everyone would've grown tired of her anyhoo.

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America.. fuck yeah!

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:57pm.

I have to admit, I m a little curious about the black guy situation. But with my luck its my husband, and i would be mad as shit.

@lol at Sweetas Flava Flav!

Can i have Samuel L Jackson as my black guy, please? I would make him recite Pulp Fiction lines for hours.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by cgwalt on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:49pm.

What hag-rambling-cuntish-self agrandizmenting from a second-rate crack whore lead singer.
Oh Mom? No!!
I'm talking about Courtney not you.
Fucking bitch

Submitted by Lope on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:49pm.

I think I need a shower after reading that.

Submitted by Rdeadline on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:42pm.

I would love to read CL's autobiography IN HER OWN WORDS, just shaped a bit by an editor. How amazing would that be? James Earl Jones can do the audio book.

Submitted by cripbabe on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:36pm.

wow, she hates pot and hard liquor and is afraid of ecstasy - who's this pill and vein-popping so-she-claims ex-junkie kidding? and really - such a refined lady, she likes WINE. bitch please. sit down and STFU - nothing's as gag-inducing as someone who's reformed. it's like a bride walking down the aisle in a virginal, white gown while she's 8 months pregnant -

Submitted by Mayo on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:22pm.

To me courtney has always been this annoying and conceited bitch! i just can't with her... But i do like her made up stories tho...
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell

Submitted by Zedrie on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:06pm.

Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:31pm.

Shit, knowing my luck my black guy would be Flava Flav.
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AHAHAHA XD

Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:05pm.

i'm so tired of hearing about courtney love's drug and alcohol issues. you know what would break the world and make shit fall up instead of down? if she would have an interview with DIAL SOAP and tell us why she never takes a bath! Then LAVA could do a follow-up exclusive of post-hazmat cleaning procedures.

Submitted by Vicvoc on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:04pm.

"Dick, 33, is most famous as Hollywood's angel of death. The NewsRadio star was a friend of Brynn and Phil Hartman's, went to Vegas strip bars with actor David Strickland the night he killed himself and had comic Chris Farley as an addiction-group sponsor"

From Time about Andy Dick.
Even if CLove lies, Andy still is a ass-hole

Submitted by NC-Ladee on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:58pm.

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:05pm.

OK - WTF is a 'flyover state?' Can't you fly over all of them?!
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The flyover states are what some cooler-than-thou people from the major cities in the northeast like to derisively call any state that lies between them and Los Angeles. I am guilty of using that word when something in the Midwest happens that annoys me...apologies. I give MK mad points for reading that article because I clicked off when the author said Court was swigging Stella while doing an interview for an addiction& recovery mag.
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Thanks so much for clarifying that. Hell, I was raised in Boston but had never heard that term before. Guess I wasn't 'cool enough.' LOL

I too should have passed over the Courtney article - but you know MK has such a flare for writing that it often draws you into articles you wouldn't otherwise read.

Submitted by penicillinlovesparis on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:53pm.

Bitch WOULD blame every body but herself, while pointing fingers and declaring there are "worse addicts" out there than her...people just can't tell. I'd rather be a "closet" addict than a crazy, delusional, mockable mess.

I remember reading a CLove interview years ago, and she blamed ADD medication as a child as the catalyst for her addiction. Make up your mind, you stupid junkie slut! Of course, it's not her fault. At. All. Andy Dick held her down and forced the pill down her throat... A pill she that she had "no idea" what it was? Really? She should be well versed in the world of prescription pills, considering she bought her docs (multiple doctors!) plasma TVs!!

This is the millionth time she's claimed sobriety. Another time being at the Pamela Anderson Roast...now she is admitting she was fucked up beyond belief there.

The only thing spewing from Crazy's mouth is lies on top of lies. Ugh, she makes me enraged and entertained at the same time.