Jesus Died So That Lindsay Lohan Could Slip A Nip In Miami
While a thorny rose crucifix blessed her hand, Lindsay Lohan's tit ACCIDENTALLYOMGLOLHAOMG jumped out of her bikini top when a wave (that White Oprah paid off) came crashing onto her right in front of the paps. Imagine that! A pap just so happened to be standing on a spot in the sand marked "Stand Here To Get A Picture Of Lindsay Lohan's Right Nipple" with a donation jar next to it. Crazy!
If you've always dreamed of running your retina over a light pink nipple, then (NSFW) click on this. If you're at work and still want to see it, then just click on this picture of a wet weasel's nose. It's the same thing.
Poor LiLo. Her privacy is disintegrating faster than her hairline. And LiLo cried about the end of her privacy on Twitter before she showed us a glimpse of the future:
Cant i just be with my sister @ a pool and have our salad!!!!! grrrrr met the sweetest girl whos 17 and has a child, she named her daughter Lindsay after me and it was an amazing feeling - g-d bless ariona marie valles.
Nothing sets the bar low and puts potent shots of bad decisions on it like naming your daughter after Lindsay Lohan.
• 
Are you sure those are real? The left one looks like the difinative exact half circle on top. Just because they are droopy and saggy doesn't make em real just used.
Practical strategy
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Poor Lindsay, must suck watching your parents take your soul and shove it into the Mickey Mouse train.
Choo-Choo!
Remember in High School when your budy used to fuck with you and say, "I wouldn't fuck her with your dick"? lol
She is finding herself on the expressway with change to spare for the tolls, and soon even the fugly dykes won't want her.
Bitches nipple looks like a tiny piece of poop coming out of my dirt box on a party night.
I think freckles are really cute, I even think Goopy's freckles are cute (cringing from possible beat-downs), but for the first time, I thought her freckles looked like liver spots.
The girl is still in her 20s.
Not good.
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GERONIMO!
What a fucking skank! Is she 24 or 64? This bitch needs to turn her skin into "Fantasy Leather" and get a few bucks and buy like a new fucking face.
She is one God damn nasty looking whore!
How did she get so old so fast?
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:58pm.
If that filthy ignorant criminal tried to say a rosary, her tongue would cleve to the roof of her mouth and W.O. would never shut up.
*throws Lourdes water, imagines decapitating Lohan with a Swiss Guard's axe*
I don't want to look too hard, but where do you see a rosary?
My guess is the mag paid her a stipend for the shoot and paid for travel and a few days' hotel.
...........
"At the end of the day, they will pay the price for being a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat at a modest restaurant." (Alan Partridge)
I cannot take it anymore.
NO ONE in the Lohan family works, so where are they getting their money to enjoy salads by fucking pools?
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by LAXpat on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 4:57pm.
I love your yelling Cookie Monster avie! Ha ha ha ha!
*****
Thanks, Precocious!
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"Avoid crack. Unless you can manage it socially" -Charlie Sheen
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:58pm.
I'm shcoked that rosary didn't burst into flames when it touched her.
And why the fuck is she wearing a rosary AND a Kabbalah bracelet?!
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Because she's a fucking idiot.
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What fresh hell is this?
I'm shcoked that rosary didn't burst into flames when it touched her.
And why the fuck is she wearing a rosary AND a Kabbalah bracelet?!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I understand the crucifix since she's gone all uber Catholic of late *rolls eyes* - but isn't that a Kabbalah red string on her wrist?
Is she hedging her salvation bets?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 2:41pm.
This shit pisses me off. When they let Paris out, you'd better believe I emailed the Sheriff. This is the 2nd or 3rd I have sent regarding Blowhan.
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Yay, Paris! Stay on their asses!
Note: in that pic, her nip looks like a skeeto bite.
.
.
Sooooooo I wonder if the judge got a kill fee for canceling the whole jail thing.
.
.
Funny in first year college a girl that got kinda passed around...her nickname became Splash!
I remember in her Disney days thinking when she grows up she's gonna be so hot. Man was I wrong
Would be funny if during that wave, a very random unicorn was rushed ashore and in doing so, its horn stabbed right through her torso. Her blood would be neon green and in it would be squirming the toe worms of Ursula the Sea Witch.. since Ursula is too lazy to just stab her herself. She just sends out weed-induced visions and LoHo just goes, "Ooo.. shiny."
These pics make me smile. I have 5 years on this bitch, and have had one kid and my stomach and tatas are waaaay better than hers. Colour me happy, I'ma gonna a stick them on my fridge..
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Shit, I guess it's a while before I go back into the water when I'm visiting Miami Beach. FMVacation.
this is me, not giving a shit
Two words: red tide. Can plankton scream?
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:53pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:41pm.
If I had a protective layer of about 14 condoms, I'd still frolic the shit out of her.
►but what about your BALLS
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Wrap them balls in several layers of Saran Wrap, and you're good to go.
Miami: Needs more moray eels.
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"At the end of the day, they will pay the price for being a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat at a modest restaurant." (Alan Partridge)
Submitted by LAXpat on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 4:57pm.
I love your yelling Cookie Monster avie! Ha ha ha ha!
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What fresh hell is this?
Submitted by hoganbcmj on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:00pm.
She looks like she's 39 years old. It's so sad.
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Hey! I'm 39 years old and look way better than this piece of dried-out shizz!
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"Avoid crack. Unless you can manage it socially" -Charlie Sheen
She looks gross and all but I'm happy to see she gained some weight, that's at least good.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:41pm.
If I had a protective layer of about 14 condoms, I'd still frolic the shit out of her.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LMAO!!!!!!!
G-D!!! Really?
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
This crackhead is so shameless.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:41pm.
If I had a protective layer of about 14 condoms, I'd still frolic the shit out of her.
►but what about your BALLS
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
You've entered Tara Reid territory Lindsay. Any publicity is good publicity right Linds?
She looks like she's 39 years old. It's so sad.
*******
This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
No responses.....but it makes me feel good to send them.
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You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
She's SO disgusting.
Parissucksliterally -- if you are able to do it, I'd also send it on to the DA's office; I doubt they know anything about this. I'm sure TMZ knows, though -- they're probably going to show this stinky, ugly cunt on the show today. What was the response, if any, of the Sheriff's Department?
Twat Muffin, I live in L.A. This shit pisses me off. When they let Paris out, you'd better believe I emailed the Sheriff. This is the 2nd or 3rd I have sent regarding Blowhan.
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You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
Parissucksliterally -- OMG, you are so awesome! I love that you reported her ass. You are my hero -- you complete me, LOL!!!
Suzy_Farkis -- "Anemic nipple" -- OMG, I love it! I happen to be highly anemic (for realz) and even my nips have way more color! Too funny!
M.E. -- "where's a riptide when you need one?" OMG, ain't that the truth?
I don't know what it is about this bitch, but I hate her with the intensity of a thousand suns. This ugly, smelly, skanky, freckled, narcissistic, delusional, pansexual, lying, thieving, useless waste of space & breath doesn't deserve to live. Just sayin' . . .
I'm really shocked that she apparently has natural boobies. Who would've thunk it? Never understood the appeal of this hideously freckled bimbo.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:03pm.
precociousmagpie I was about to say the same thing re her hair, it reminds me of when I was too poor to have mine done in a salon and it would have that all over one color bleached out look
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I'm telling my mom you called her POOR!!! (She's more cheapskate than broke ho.)
ETA: I'll have you know she is *a* poor, which is quite a step up from just regular poor.
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What fresh hell is this?
All snark aside, she's looking healthy, not drop-over-dead anymore. It's good to see. Keep it up.
My immediate thought was gross and that's the first tag. Hahaha I love it.
That meth ho is the perfect example of how just being skinny doesn't mean you are in good shape.
Which she is NOT!
Im not impressed by her pale pink tits either.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
Seventeen-year-old single mothers naming their offspring after you is a point of pride?
Lindsay Lohan had to watch Natalie Portman (younger?) take an Oscar home and this week saw Kirsten Dunst (younger?) awarded Best Actress at Cannes. As Jennifer Saunders would say, we're lucky we didn't get the "full tits and minge" she's so desperate for press.
Could she looked more wrecked?
LiLo needs to lay low. Keep out of the reach of camera lenses, please. I'm begging now. Please. It's uncalled for. It needs to stop.
And bitch is so obtuse that she doesn't get the lol factor of some child making the ill advised decision to name her child Lindsay. But I'm sure in a day or two she'll sue the baby for using her name without permission.