Where The Hell Was Dionne Warwick Last Night?!!

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OK, "push presents" are just disturbing. They are what, a 'thank you' from the babydaddy for having the baby *FOR HIM*??

What if she has an episiotomy? Does she get a bonus gift for having her cooch cut open with a pair of scissors and then stitched back up? What if she hemorrhages and nearly dies after the baby is born? Does the grateful father hand her a matching pair of earrings as she lies there covered in blood?

"Marie, guess what? I shit on the table when I was in labor, and Frank gave me a diamond ring ONE CARAT larger than he had promised! Wait until you see it! I am so blessed. What? Oh, the baby? Oh yeah... he's around here somehwere. He's OK, yeah...I guess. You GOTTA see this ring!"

FUCK. ED. UP.

Ok, who the hell is John Rich?

I heard she didn't appear due to being in the emergency room having a Winnebago removed from her left nostril -- the driver apparently went up it thinking it was the Washington Tunnel.

Nene still has a bad attitude I wish someone would knock her the fuck out

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

My dad just forwarded that to me, lol. :)

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 2:38pm.

Speaking of kids and push gifts:
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HAR!!!!!! My friend and I were just talking about the "push gift" thing - I'm gonna share this with her hehehe! Thank you!

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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE

HAHAHA! awesome! @ Stoney

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"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever" -MK

You must be totally worthless then, a.w.! (JK)

Speaking of kids and push gifts:

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart"....

I'm so gonna get sent to banned camp for posting this long off-topic joke...

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Ooh, I love this - I left a random comment b/c I was literally shocked at the size of this NeNe person and then I started reading the thread...

Just wanted to pipe in: I'm a 30 year old successful business woman in a 3-year relationship with someone who I may marry (but we're happy with how it is now) and I have absolutely no guilt over not wanting to have children. My brother and sis in law are expecting their second child and neither of them work real jobs or do anything to add to society (except children). I love them dearly b/c they're family and they're sweethearts and I LOVE my nephew and will undoubtedly fall in love with the new child.... but I mean... is that it??

I do what I want when I want, am highly educated with a dynamic and challenging career, make decent money, travel the world, have amazing friendships and relationships, volunteer my time, donate a ton to charity... BUT YET I am unmarried, childless and will never give my mother a grandchild. UGH!! that's what defines me???

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"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever" - MK

damn. I never really paid attention to that Ne-Ne chick but she is one big b*tch!!!

and star jones still makes me want to stick pins in my eyes. I'm annoyed just looking at her

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"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever"

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:24am.
RE: childless by choice:

Let me add the well-worn and totally absurd excuse: having a baby will strengthen the relationship because (person wanting out of the relationship) will bond with baby.

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My brother and his wife did this four times. I have my popcorn ready for when the youngest is about 5 or 6 and they are sick of each other again but a new one isn't possible. My thoughts are they will either adopt or divorce because they don't know how to relate to each other without children.

Just saw the infamous clip with her and that blonde chick. Sounded like she said "honey" to me..

--thanks awfully--

I didn't know NeNe was such a giant! Damn.

Submitted by Athina on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:20am.
Star Jones was one of those fat chicks that people used to say, "if only she lost weight...she has such a pretty face." And then bitch lost the weight, and you're like, "Oh shit...damn, she's still ugly."
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BWWAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ain't that the truth, Athina! Star is UGLIER skinny. Uber-bitch.

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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11

I missed Dionne, and I bet the Obama birth certificate had a role in her not returning. The show went downhill without her and REALLY downhill when NeNe quit. Last night was Boring with a capital B. If Trump asked one more person who they would pick, I would have turned it off with 5 minutes left.

Nene is still a moose, i dont care how much fat she has her doctor suck out.
After seeing Dionne on this show ruined my perception of her.
That pic of Hope looks like she's the creature in that movie INSIDIOUS!

OMG, I am so glad some of you agree with me. And I didn't mean to offend our friends who have kids. It's just not for me. I also didn't want to have a poor kid inherit the depression that runs in my family.

I live near an old folks home and I'll tell you that its a myth that the kids will help you out and be there for you when your old. I don't plan on having kids because I like the freedom to travel and do what I want to do. I don't begrudge anyone who loves kids and wants to be a mother/father but its not for everyone!

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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman

Wow, and for once I am in complete agreement with ricki lake! This is a good day:)

♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8

Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:54am.
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FUCKING LOL AT BLUMPUS!!! and totally agree about Casper

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by Emeriesan on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 10:32am.

NeNe is a scary moose! She's a bully.

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EXACTLY! I hate NeNe. She's the kinda woman that makes me say stoopit things like: O you wanna be loud? Cuz I can be loud too, bitch! (I really can;p)

♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8

It was lames and boring. Jon Rich, blah blah. Eh. I liked Marlee better, and thought she did just as well as Jon did all season, even though he made it sound like she only had one good night. But, his presentation/campaign was better than hers, so whatevs.

Hated that bitch Dionne. Hag thinks the world revolves around her cuz she had 2 hits probably literally 50 years ago and cuz Cracky Houston fell out of huh Cissy's cooter. Eat it, skrunt, cuz everyone knows what a cuntrake u be now. Grandma Frumples sow.

NeNe is such an annoying trashbag. I'm glad at least someone had the nerve to stand up to Beardsly Jones, who may be a "professional" but was totally guilty of everything everyone accused her of all season, but NeNe has gone off on RHOA sooo many times soooo quickly over suuuuuch trivial things that it makes me have to side with that fucking anthead Star 'Blumpus' Jones. NeNe makes me embarrassed for black women, and I'm not even one. There's speaking your mind, there's "being real," then there's picking needless fights with people in inappropriate ways because you both have no real skills and don't really know how to comport yourself any better. Star was exactly right, NeNe did target every single black woman on the show, and her behavior followed very similar patterns as I've seen on other shows. Bitch is a ghetto nutbag, and not the delicious or interesting kind. The Maury Povich kind.

God bless Toy-Toy and her tintinnabulous titter. Looooove Casper and how she's always decked out in black sequins and rhinestones!!! She really is so sweet.

CHECK OUT THAT HOT BITCH MARLEE FUCKING HOT BITTTTTTTCHHUH!! I love you Marlee "ACSHIN!!!"

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

How do you say "fuck this shit" in sign language?
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I don't know but I sure wish someone would tell me! That was BULLSHIT!!!

And what is also bullshit is that I JUST finished watching it and I'm sure you horz are over it by now - I have to wait for the night crew = which barely exists, btw!:(

♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8

Trump cornered Marlee's ASL interpreter telling him that the show made him a "star" and asked for a quarter of his future salary. What a fucking MORON.
The only reason I watched this shit fest show is because I'd been given a heads up about Warwick's glorious cuntiness and she didn't disappoint. After her departure Star and NeNe took up the slack.

i ain't kidden, ivana and that bogus palin chick are dead ringers.

Marlee seems nice enough, but throughout the entire show, I never figured out what exactly was so great about her project management skills. I never saw anything that would lead to her being in the finale.

Errr, if you're preggers don't you have to stop dying your hair and filling your face with botox? Ivanka's going to have to go in hiding for the last trimester.

LOL ebil!!

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

IDIOCRACY

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:24am.
RE: childless by choice:

Let me add the well-worn and totally absurd excuse: having a baby will strengthen the relationship because (person wanting out of the relationship) will bond with baby.

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Athina, that was fucking hilarious. And so true.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:24am.
Push gifts are soooooooo creepy to me. This isn't the turn of the century, for god's sake. And you don't need to be paid to have a child with your husband...
Not that I would ever turn down a diamond. LOL

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That is the ONLY way I would have a kid, is if I got a major gift out of it. A child is NOT a gift enough for me,

*proudly wears Child Haters Badge*

Ha! Stoney, I get to live vicariously through my sister's open-leg policy (she popped out four DNA critters-two dif baby daddy dudes), and I get to use the escape-hatch.

My husband gave me a lot of shit for not wanting more children but, he wasn't raising and teaching them now was he?

I have no regrets. I think women shouldn't feel pressured to procreate. As if this world isn't a damned mess as is.

RE: childless by choice:

I think for many people with kids (and by "people" I mean "women") they are miserable and want everyone else to be miserable. They can see that the childless-by-choice folks are at peace with their decisions and their lives and they resent that happiness. (Not all mothers are this way, but some.)

I also think that for many women, they didn't really CHOOSE to have kids, it was their default setting so they went with it, and later realized they were unhappy. They followed the crowd and got married and pregnant... right into misery and feeling trapped, without really giving it much thought.

Not to mention the many second children who are concieved and born to "prove" that the first one wasn't a mistake - to prove this to the world and to the parents of those children too. Ugh.

Push gifts are soooooooo creepy to me. This isn't the turn of the century, for god's sake. And you don't need to be paid to have a child with your husband...
Not that I would ever turn down a diamond. LOL

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

THANK YOU MK THANK YOU THIS IS THE QUESTION OF THE MILLENIUM!!!!! I WAS SO PSYCHED WHEN ALL THOSE SKANKS WERE COMING OUT I MEAN EVEN BITCHY CRAZY NENE DECIDED TO SLITHER ON OUT BUT NOOOOOO DIONNE????

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

I have heard that there are women out there who say you are not a real mother until you have more than one. I say why are you allowed to breathe the same air as me if you that brainwashed by motherhood? Read a book or something, stupid. Get your head out of the diaper geenie.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Star Jones was one of those fat chicks that people used to say, "if only she lost weight...she has such a pretty face." And then bitch lost the weight, and you're like, "Oh shit...damn, she's still ugly."

There are plenty of pro football teams out there in need of a new linebacker. NeNe?

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:11am.

My problem is, why should people clap for a pregnancy?
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Should we all get started on the fucking ridiculousness of the "push gift/rings" trend? I don't have my vino with me cause of dumb office duties, but vino and a heated, colorful discussion with you fine folks on "push gifts" would surely be a crack up.

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Sonny: "Now that I've fulfilled my purpose, I don't know what to do." Det. Spooner: "...you'll have to find your way like the rest of us, Sonny...Dr. Lanning would've wanted that...That's what it means to be free." -I,Robot (2004) (novel by Asimov)

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:03am.

I'm childless by choice -- simply put
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Two of my close married friends are the same way - no kids, totally into each other, went back for add'l degrees, by choice. They love their the kids that are in extended fam, but they know what they want and are not falling for the guilt/snide trip that others do. Kudos to you guys.

I have a daughter who will be 21 in a week. Had her at 18; I still look extremely young, and family, friends, coworkers are all like "oh don't you want more; if you meet the right guy you might change your mind." And I'm thinking these people absolutely believe there cannot exist a quiet, internal satisfaction and happiness WITHOUT little kids. It's almost like a "proving to the world" thing. I love kids, but I know myself, did my job already with one full grown, and I want to be F R E E. Too bad some people can't process that kind of self-satisfaction.

Twat Muffin,

AMEN. I had one child and got grief because I only had ONE (gawd forbid). Plus, getting 'married' doesn't make you any less lonely either for that matter. I'm more lonely now than I ever was when I was 'single'. My daughter is grown and moved out of the house now. My husband and I built this house 18 years ago and I still have her "school room" (I home-schooled her) and her bed-room exactly preserved in pristine condition. I really miss her all of the time even though she lives in the same town as I do, we just don't see each other much because she's bogged down with her job and her husband-some-day's three children.

I'm not having a pity-party...I'm just trying to say that having children and marriage isn't really the end all be all that some folks make it out to be and it sure as hell doesn't guarantee happiness or 'wholeness' by any stretch.

Sometimes life truly is a very lonely journey.

My problem is, why should people clap for a pregnancy? It's not like they are congratulating her in passing at her mama's house, they are applauding as a large group of people like royalty has now spawned and "the people" can rejoice. Muffin, I'm glad you have your own personal priorities straight. I would have kicked that woman in the groin. There is nothing worse than a self-righteous snotty-ass woman with kids who thinks she is better than other people. Having kids is a wonderful thing, but being smug about it is missing the entire point.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:03am.

Me, too. Mr. Momus and I are child-free by choice. We have been married 30 years this year.

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Evil_Cupcake -- OMG, I've been thinking the same thing for quite a while -- Louboutins are trash! If I had the money to afford them, I'd gladly buy Yves St. Laurent, Chanel, Dior or Valentino. I personally think the red soles are tacky. When you've got Beyonce and the KarTRASHians prancing around in them, forget it.

why is star jones dressed as grimace? more importantly, where the fuck is the hamburglar?

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:00am.
Oh, and I am sick to death of every trashy, label, status whore wearing fucking Louboutins. They are the most overrated shoes ever, and celebrities have ruined them.

Just my opinion.
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You forgot to specify beige!

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What fresh hell is this?

Stoney -- I totally agree with you, hon. I hate it when people think I'm bitter because I'm childless. I'm childless by choice -- simply put, I don't care for kids, they're not my thing, but I think it's better to admit that and not have kids, instead of having the kids and being resentful of them. A lot of women think you're not really a woman unless you have kids, and I really resent that. I was friends with this cow who had two adopted kids. One day she & I disagreed over something, and she had the nerve to say to me, "are you jealous because you never had kids?" No, I'm jealous of you, you cow, because you have 2 little kids and your ass is 56 and your husband is 61. It will be great for the kids as they graduate college to be changing YOUR diapers.