What In Tan & Bones Hell?

May 22, 2011 / Posted by:

Well, if you cut yourself on St. Angie Jo’s shank-like knee cap, you can stick Brad-Aid Pitt over your boo boo to stop the blood from gushing everywhere.

You know, if you were able to bet your entire dildo collection on what color Angie would wear to her premiere, we’d all have more dildos, because we’d all bet that she’d show up wearing the color of our hearts. It’s pretty much a given that St. Morticia will always hit the red carpet in bone-to-bone black. She didn’t disappoint at the Kung Fu Panda premiere in L.A. earlier this morning when she wore an outfit that’s usually seen on a Benihana hostess in mourning. But Brad Pitt stole the shine from her by dressing like a human skid mark. The only way Brad’s ensemble could be more perfect if it was in velour and he was wearing it on a Segway while whistling at the honeys in a park in Boca. An outfit like that should come with a cigar and a bag of chewy candies.

And believe it or not, Brangie weren’t the only ones at the Kung Fu Panda premiere. I KNOW! There were others! Others like Jack Black, Marcia Gay Harden (who showed Angie up in a major way), Lucy Liu, Dustin Hoffman and James Hong.

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