Cheeto Darko

May 22, 2011 / Posted by: Michael K

If you were watching HBO’s Cathouse and clicked over to watch RiRi and Brit Brit’s performance at the Billboard Music Awards tonight, then you probably thought you were still on the same channel, because Our Lady of Cheetos and the Barbadian Ronald McDonald’s twerked their twats and swayed their asses like rent was due yesterday. Correction: RiRi summoned the ho shit while Brit Brit sort of just stumbled around like a blind deer looking for a puddle of water to lick on. Seriously, the USB-powered stripper toy can make it rain more dollar bills than Brit Brit can.

Couldn’t they have slathered Brit’s pole with Frapp lube so she could’ve put some feeling into that shit. You’d think that the pole was a giant broccoli stick or some other kind of vegetable Brit Brit won’t dare nibble on unless it’s drowning in Velveeta.

Anyway, watch this mess if you haven’t already. S&M must stand for sedated and motherfuckingoverit.

I can’t tell if Brit Brit’s trying to lip-synch or chewing an old piece of gum.

Tags: Britney Spears, Mario Lopez, Rihanna

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