Cheeto Darko
If you were watching HBO's Cathouse and clicked over to watch RiRi and Brit Brit's performance at the Billboard Music Awards tonight, then you probably thought you were still on the same channel, because Our Lady of Cheetos and the Barbadian Ronald McDonald's twerked their twats and swayed their asses like rent was due yesterday. Correction: RiRi summoned the ho shit while Brit Brit sort of just stumbled around like a blind deer looking for a puddle of water to lick on. Seriously, the USB-powered stripper toy can make it rain more dollar bills than Brit Brit can.
Couldn't they have slathered Brit's pole with Frapp lube so she could've put some feeling into that shit. You'd think that the pole was a giant broccoli stick or some other kind of vegetable Brit Brit won't dare nibble on unless it's drowning in Velveeta.
Anyway, watch this mess if you haven't already. S&M must stand for sedated and motherfuckingoverit.
I can't tell if Brit Brit's trying to lip-synch or chewing an old piece of gum.
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It's time to get rid of my TV.
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私のテレビを取り除くために時間
Cheeto Darko!!! Perfection!!!!
There is nothing behind her eyes. I bet she's not aloud to be alone with her children for more than five minutes. She gives me the "Ima gonna drown em' in tha bathtub" vibe.
Rihanna looks great. Britney looks like she's off to wrestle lions in the Colloseum of Rome.
video removed. BOO!
I wanted to see Shitney going through the motions on yet another shitty performance.
*goes back to bed*
I would also like to say that I, too, hate RiRi's hair.
Not the red, per se. More the Oprah-esque hairdo. She could have kept the red, but gone with one of those Madonna-inspired high, long ponytails (with bangs of course; GOT to cover up the fivehead).
Oprah hair just doesn't say S&M.
Yes, that was me. I dropped the Baloney lololol!
xoxoxoxo
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
@Stoney:
You used to call yourself StoneyBaloney, right? Or is that someone else I'm thinking of? If so, you and The Breakdown have always been two of my fave D-listers. I guess poor Brent didn't survive Britney's nervous breakdown, huh?
@Honky:
Right, the comment threads used to be just as funny as MK's postings. Now MK's funny as ever, but the comments are like blah, blah, boring.
@Evil_Cupcake:
True, sorry bout that. I just needed to voice my displeasure with my beloved D-listers. A chance to rip on Britney and Rihanna, for a legitimately crappy performance...I should have been wiping away the laughter tears; instead, I'm reading about mental illness. BORING!
The performance was pretty terrible.
The song is boring and cliched, and I, for one, am getting tired of Rihanna's "naughty girl" act, which is not believable for one second.
Rihanna's no dancer, but she sure upstaged Britney. Britney didn't nail any of her "dance moves", she had zero onstage swag, and her stripper pole performance embarrassed us all (RiRi's wasn't much better).
Lastly, though Britney looked good (for her), Rihanna's tall, willowy self made her look stumpy by comparison. Also, Rihanna has a much nicer ass (which was hard to miss in the still where they are standing back to back).
And yes, Brit should be ashamed that while Rihanna sung most of her part live (practically the whole song), she felt compelled to lip-sync her entire three lines. And STILL didn't dance hard.
I thought it was so cute that every time Rhihanna spread her legs, her crabs would smile. Just adorable.
Just to be a bitch here, aren't the two of you, who are bitching about "off topic" convos being a tab hypocritical with your off topic convo? Not sure what your posts have to do with Britney.
@Lisa_lisa_Lisa: I'm with you!! When did the comments section on Dlisted become some private chat room for people who want to have off topic conversations? I, too, have been coming to Dlisted for at least 5 years to get a quick laugh in the midst of my otherwise mundane workday. I usually get lost weeding through the side conversations because I'm not part of the cool kids who are following along with all the sidebars.
*raises hand*
I remember Brent!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Been coming to D-listed for about five years now. I used to comment all the time way back when, under the name "Ginger". Then I stopped commenting and would just come to read MK's hilarious posts and the comments.
Only person I can definitely remember being here at the time that still comments is "The Breakdown". Anyone remember "Brent" (who was an awesome guy except that he was a avid Britney apologist)?
Anyways, the comments have become kind of a drag. It seems like it's so clique-ish on Dlisted now. For instance, I watched the Youtube of this, saw that it completely sucked, and was excited to read 4 pages of snark. But half of it was an off-topic argument. That's annoying, like the book-club conversation in the Fishsticks post. I mean, isn't that what the Open Posts are for?
Sorry, I just had to vent. I come to D-listed for some quick laughs at the expense of people richer than me. All the extraneous crap irks me.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 11:02am.
In this context, that last line is almost eerie. (One of my all-time favorite songs, too, of course.)
Her mental problems aside, I think Britney's biggest problem may be that she's just so fucking dumb. :^\
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Agreed - and worse: uneducated. She's not even very educated at her own craft - if you cut her loose and stripped her of her celebrity she'd be totally fucked. Lots of not-so-bright people get by just fine just for information someone gave them along the way...I feel like they just told Britney: You just let us take care of that - for EVERYTHING.
And yeah, every time there's a Britney performance post that song starts running through my head - and that's the part that sticks me too.
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
I have to be honest, I do feel sorry for Britney only because she clearly has no one in her corner.
She is non compos mentis for court or managing her own money but not to "perform" on stage.
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'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 10:31am.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown - The dream is gone
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In this context, that last line is almost eerie. (One of my all-time favorite songs, too, of course.)
Her mental problems aside, I think Britney's biggest problem may be that she's just so fucking dumb. :^\
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What fresh hell is this?
I've been commenting here for a while now and I've never seen the comments get this personally nasty. Some things are better ignored than letting them divert attention away from the purpose of the post.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Hmmm I think the "singing" cannot be sounding so smooth whilst "dancing" most performers do lip sync at some point in the performance. Just try singing ABC while on the treadmill and you'll see what I mean.
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'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
Rihanna should've followed Britney and lip synced. She sounds horrible live. Bitch needs to get her vibrato in check.
Submitted by Infamous on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 7:56am.
I didnt believe the mind control stories before but I just cannot beleive her people/manager/agent or whomever lets Britney go on stage and shes literally a walking zombie. Im starting to think the people around her are just milking this cow for all shes worth. It was painful to watch.
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C'mon, (C'mon c'mon)
It's just a little pin prick
There'll be no more
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up (stand up Good!)
It seems that it is working (Good!)
That'll keep you going through the show
C'mon it's time to go!
There is no pain; you are receding
A distant shipsmoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I cannot hear what you're saying...
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown - The dream is gone
And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I -
Have become
Comfortably numb.
It's not like we din't know it was happening.
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Did anyone notice Riri was singing live & Shitters was miming?? Holy crap that's embarrassing:/
Gotta admit I'm impressed with Britbrit's weave-tamer, I wonder who it is?
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Fancy Malone~04/27/2011
"MIZ" Holmes?? I thought that "miz" was reserved for middle aged lesbians, not cyborgs married to middle aged homosexual dwarves.
kandykane, Britney is not even 30.....middle age?
Yes, Britney sucks now, but it is not 1860.
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Is it my go, is it your go?
Sometimes I'm goody-goody, right now I'm naughty-naughty
Say yes or say no
'Cause I really need somebody, tell me are you that somebody?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 9:34am.
....it's obvious that Britney is as over all of this as we are. Hopefully, since this is her last contracted album she will get to give it a rest or atleast take a nice long break.
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I swear I read that as 'take a nice long bath.' :)
And I wonder if she will be allowed to, seeing as how Papa is still in control of her money. The girl is nothing more than a cash cow at this point.
Yikes this place got SCARY after I left. That being said it's obvious that Britney is as over all of this as we are. Hopefully, since this is her last contracted album she will get to give it a rest or atleast take a nice long break. It's disgraceful what the people around her who are supposed to care about her are doing.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Centaurious on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 12:47am.
Sweet Jesus.
Centaur, sometimes people copy-paste replies from other peeps that ends up looking like YOU said something that other folks said. It happens a lot here and it's really convoluted and confusing and annoying as fuck. I always try to keep the originating author in my replies to dispense of that confusion.
Anyway, I think some of your personal upset at certain people here is misguided. There are a lot of good, genuine people here who do care about you and I'm one of them.
Also, "Crystal Gayle"...I know you think you're cleverly pretending to be one of my "ALTS" but you ain't even close (thank you for at least being a 'nice' one though). You're "Tony" right? I have the memory of an elephant. Don't poo on my parade. ;p
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 9:31am.
Yes and beer! God bless you, Momus.
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I'm always looking out for your best interests.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Yes and beer! God bless you, Momus.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 9:09am.
You don't need meds if you have Jesus in your life.
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And beer.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 9:09am.
You don't need meds if you have Jesus in your life.
Or Scientology.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
Submitted by Centaurious on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 2:54am.
I was just wondering, and I'm being respectfully serious....do you abbreviate everything in your life? :)
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Naw. Just when I think a phrase like "is srs bsns" is funny. Still use WTF and FFS. Maybe a few more. I've been on the internet for several years and have learned 90% of situations are just stupid and not worth my argument. Everyone here knows I get pissy sometimes, but mostly I just like to snark or sympathize with a slut who has a problem. I've also learned how to recognize the people that are trolling in the comments. :)
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
You don't need meds if you have Jesus in your life.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by Who Datt on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 6:03am.
It has been said that (straight) p__n, for all it's outside the box "edginess", actually reinforces outdated views of women as nothing more than pretty meat and sexual chattel.
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Ya think? LOL.
The edginess/empowerment schtick is just marketing spin. And yes, I think the same can be said for most entertainment.
Some artistic pieces/performances are legitimately powerful and sensual and erotic and provocative, pushing ALL the right buttons...
This piece of tripe with Riri/Brit is not one of them.
OH Jesus!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Wow, they must have lowered her dose because Britney actually has a bit of life behind her eyes.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 05/22/2011 - 9:38pm.
Maybe the rapture did happen but we all got left behind to watch this first class entertainment...
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LMAO!!!!!
I didn't get to read all the comments yet, but I can see that there is a lot of controversy regarding whether or not to discuss Brit's meds. I will stay out of that one for now, because I believe her issues are FAR bigger than a chemical imbalance in her brain.
I won't even go into the obvious "Illuminati" stuff... black/white, masks, blah blah blah.
All I can really say is that I hope that their vag chemicals were balanced! If not, I feel for folks in the first row!
I'll never forget one time when I was young and playing in the school band. We had a recital, and I got teased mercilessly b/c evidently my knees were a few inches apart at one point during the show. It was NOTHING compared to this, but the kids were BRUTAL about it. I was so humiliated and traumatized, I became self-conscious about that stuff for the rest of my life. Now, to be living in an age of DELIBERATE crotch flashing, it's just so strange. Very, very strange...
Yep, maybe the rapture happened a while ago and we're catching the scraps...
Shitters that stank porky pig mimed those simple three lines or whatever. They keep trotting her out on other artists' gigs because she's hitting middle age and her shelf life is now definitely limited. And I thank the heavens for that.
I'm not sedated, but I'm motherfuckingoverit. At one time, singing about one's "jelly roll" was scandalous. Madonna rolling around on the ground in a wedding gown was supposed to be scandalous (though, not really). What more can be done, really? Shall we just have the pop stars get up there naked and perform live porn, or do the actual satanic rituals instead of close simulations? Because not much else is left.
The thing is, none of this is shocking--it's merely a pain in the ass, because I have to turn off the radio or watch my kids when they're on a computer. I'm sure someday the kids will figure all of this out, but I don't care for these two dried up, desperate hos to be their instructors. How about just making some music that actually sounds good?
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
just go away britney, please.
OMG at this thread!! Terrifying. Really.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I didnt believe the mind control stories before but I just cannot beleive her people/manager/agent or whomever lets Britney go on stage and shes literally a walking zombie. Im starting to think the people around her are just milking this cow for all shes worth. It was painful to watch.
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
"Correction: RiRi summoned the ho shit while Brit Brit sort of just stumbled around like a blind deer looking for a puddle of water to lick on."
Precisely.
What is wrong with Britney? The end of her performance with Nicki Minaj... Everyone knows you pose at the end of a performance. Nicki did. Britney just stood still. Literally.
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"This is all rather 'may-jah'..."
~Posh-esque
Donnie Darko is probably my favorite movie of all time. I wish pop culture wouldn't borrow from it! Leave it alone, damn it!
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
oh...this shit was on tv last night...i had no clue....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Despite the dead eyes, Brit looks okay...I mean, considering.
And Rihanna nearly put me to sleep rolling and stretching on the floor with that unwashed hair. Eh, I guess it coulda been worse.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
It has been said that (straight) porn, for all it's outside the box "edginess", actually reinforces outdated views of women as nothing more than pretty meat and sexual chattel. It seems that popular "music" has gone the same way. Who'd have thought that a song glorifying bondage would have hit #1?
Makes one laugh at the criticism Cyndi and the Divinyls got back in the day for odes to fingering oneself. That was much tamer in comparison.
Oh, most of the current crop of female "talent" is, to a woman, trying just too damn hard. And people are wondering why Adele is selling like McGriddles?
I don't post here much but I read here everyday and I respectfully would like to say to you bickering bitches - this is not what I come here to read. So STFU, GTFO, fuck yourselves and get fucked.
I blame music piracy.
Since all music lovers download the good music for free from the internet, this leaves only the most braindead retards paying for music. Hence shit like this gets big and hits the charts.
I guess they were right - music piracy did kill music after all.
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 3:34am.
I totally agree with the Post-Feminism being bullshit. Madonna totally fucked me up growing up and I am not kidding. I mean it's totally embarrassing to admit but she made me think that sex was a game and that men were not to be trusted or respected. I could go on but anyway yeah I agree with everything about Brittney, I mean she was like 12 when she started. It's so sad and absurd.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
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I grew-up with Vadge back in the early 80's and she copied Prince! Nothing Vadge does is original. She always seemed as if she is probably frigid behind closed doors. She was always way too calculating and only her wardrobe has changed.
I think the way Vadge treated Brit Brit was pretty sad. When Brit Brit was at her height, Vadge was eating up all her attention. Now she treats Brit Brit like she has cooties.
Vadge is just a human sucubus.
Submitted by heathen on Mon, 05/23/2011 - 1:02am.
Submitted by illuminaupolis on Sun, 05/22/2011 - 8:46pm.
So pop music has digressed to bondage and "empowering" women through degradation
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So confused where this all came from but none of this is new. Listen to these lines - they're totally from the 70s. I heard these lines when I was a little kid:
I may be bad but I'm so very good at it.
Sex in the air, I don't care I love the smell of it.
Stick and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
I swear to God every time I hear this song I have the strangest craving to see that movie Meatballs cuz I'm pretty sure Bill Murray helped A LOT in the writing of this song.
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
OMFG really?!
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8