Dreamboat Jailed For Six Months!!

May 20, 2011 / Posted by:

The rats of London are aimlessly wandering the streets today, wondering whose ears they will nibble cheese out of in the middle of the morning now that their all-you-can-eat buffet Pete Doherty has been sent to the chokey for six long months! Never mind the rats, whose whiskey veins are alcoholic mosquitoes going to suckle on when they need an always reliable buzz?! And what about the bed bugs who holiday in the pools of grease on Dreamboat’s scalp? The future of London’s entire ecosystem is at stake here!

But a judge didn’t care about that this morning when the gavel was brought down and Dreamy was sentenced to six months. I suppose Dreamy had it coming since he pleaded guilty to cocaine possession last month. The bobbies (just let me call them bobbies, okay) charged Dreamy with holding the bad shit after Robin Whitehead, a filmmaker working with him, died of an overdose in her apartment. Dreamy apparently gave her the shit that pushed her way over the edge. In court this morning, Dreamy said he was sad about her death.

This is the third time Dreamy has been jailed for drug shit.

Well, the least thing prison officials can do is to provide Dreamy with tubes of creamed coffee grounds and alley cat bile to keep his teeth as yellow as the butter lube Paula Deen slathers all over her cream pies. Dreamy without yallaw teefs is like the sun without shine.

via BBC News

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