This Is What The Rapture Is Going To Look Like

May 19, 2011 / Posted by:

In case you missed it, here’s Beyonce’s video for Run the World (Girls), which is like the apocalypse as seen through the eyes of a House of Dereon seamstress who gets whipped in the eyes with a weave track every time she makes the slightest wince at Tina Knowles’ jacked up designs. To me, the song still sounds like an elephant stomping on a kazoo in the middle of a fart contest and the video isn’t helping. It’s like every post-apocalyptic movie, blended with Cirque du Soleil’s KÀ and wrapped in a thick blanket of Vogue magazine’s worst photo shoots. The giant hyenas (which were later skinned for wigs)? Sand fucking a giant zen garden (at the 3:26 mark)? The fuck?

Well, at least when The Rapture comes on Saturday, I can look Beyonce in the eyes just as she’s about to enslave me and honestly tell her that her Mighty Morphin Power Rangers gown (at the 2:49 mark) is hot. But that’s about it.

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