The Palin Family’s Got A New Member!

May 19, 2011 / Posted by:

The eldest Palin son, 22-year-old Track, married his high school sweetheart, 21-year-old Britta Hanson, in an intimate ceremony in Hatcher Pass, Alaska today. After the young army reservist and the nursing student were married, their families immediately wrapped this statement in seal blubber and sent it to the office of People via a carrier falcon:

“Our families couldn’t be happier! These are two hard working, humble, active, studious young adults who grew up together. We’re tickled that after two decades of friendship we proudly witnessed their marriage, knowing their new life together will be blessed.

They will have a larger wedding celebration this winter at Alaska’s Alyeska Ski Resort when extended family and friends from the Lower 48 can travel north for a long ski weekend.

The Hanson and Palin families are ecstatic and proud that Britta and Track married in one of our favorite spots in America, spectacular Hatcher Pass, Alaska. It’s a site we’ve all shared fun memories of skiing, snowboarding, hiking and snowmachining.”

You know, there’s something very familiar about this whole thing. Having a surprise wedding on a weekday afternoon… The bride wearing a smart casual blazer from Dress Barn with a slimming black t-shirt from The Limited…. A bouquet covering any evidence…. I KNOW! This is just like the wedding my cousin had when she didn’t want our abuelita finding out that she was 3-months knocked up! Ho tried to put a silencer on the shot gun! This is just like that.

However, in this case, instead of worrying about an abuelita finding out, they’re trying to keep it from the publicist who handles Bristol Palin’s pro-abstinence speaking engagements.

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