Reading the cast list for the upcoming Oz: The Great and Powerful has left me in a state of hazy confusion. The same kind of hazy confusion that fills me when I watch The Wizard of Oz while completely sober. Sam Raimi, the director of this shit, obviously only wants actors who were nominated for a Golden Globe last year and once starred in a late-90s TV show. Because Sam has cast Michelle Williams (of Dawson’s Creek) to star as Glinda alongside Mila Kunis (of That 70s Show) as the Wicked Witch of the West and James Franco (of Freaks and Geeks) as The Wizard. I hope that Sam ignores the “nominated for a Golden Globe” part and casts Topanga from Boy Meets World as the president of the Lollipop Guild.
Variety reports that in Oz: The Great and Powerful (which sounds like the name of an Oz spin-off starring Christopher Meloni’s butt cheeks), The Wizard teams up with Glinda to fight the Wicked Witch of the West and the Wicked Witch of the East (played by Rachel Weisz) for control of Oz. Shooting begins this July in Michigan.
Blake Lively reportedly tried to wrap her 20-foot-long legs around the role of Glinda, but she obviously lost out to Michelle Williams. Blake is now wrapping her 20-foot-long legs around Leonardo DiCaprio instead. I’m not sure who ended up with the better project.