Here are the 9 reasons for why Parasite Hilton’s pet pony Lady CoCo Chanel is the saddest pony in the entire world.
1. She was ripped from her mother’s nipple and sold into pony slavery.
2. Her owner is a vapid piece of skank shit that only cares about her as long as she’s young, white pretty and doesn’t smell gross (aka about 3 minutes).
3: Her name is Lady CoCo Chanel.
4. Wonky has decorated her mane with cheap rhinestone bows from Icing.
5. She has been forced to “entertain” a bunch of asshole warts including Wonky’s boyfriend, Kathy Hilton, Rick Hilton, Nicky Hilton, Kim Richards and Kyle Richards at the stupid premiere party for Parasite’s stupid reality show.
6. Thanks to Wonky force motorboating her, she now has HPV and has to have “the talk” with any prospective partners.
7. If she bites Wonky, she’ll be sent to the Paris Hilton lube factory, which is way worse than the glue factory.
8. She is a fucking pony and she’s imprisoned in an indoor fucking playpen!
9. Her name is Lady CoCo Chanel.
Will PETA please take a moment from photographing naked celebrities and use their powers to FREE SAD PONY!