Open Post: Hosted By The Saddest Pony In The World
Here are the 9 reasons for why Parasite Hilton's pet pony Lady CoCo Chanel is the saddest pony in the entire world.
1. She was ripped from her mother's nipple and sold into pony slavery.
2. Her owner is a vapid piece of skank shit that only cares about her as long as she's young, white pretty and doesn't smell gross (aka about 3 minutes).
3: Her name is Lady CoCo Chanel.
4. Wonky has decorated her mane with cheap rhinestone bows from Icing.
5. She has been forced to "entertain" a bunch of asshole warts including Wonky's boyfriend, Kathy Hilton, Rick Hilton, Nicky Hilton, Kim Richards and Kyle Richards at the stupid premiere party for Parasite's stupid reality show.
6. Thanks to Wonky force motorboating her, she now has HPV and has to have "the talk" with any prospective partners.
7. If she bites Wonky, she'll be sent to the Paris Hilton lube factory, which is way worse than the glue factory.
8. She is a fucking pony and she's imprisoned in an indoor fucking playpen!
9. Her name is Lady CoCo Chanel.
Will PETA please take a moment from photographing naked celebrities and use their powers to FREE SAD PONY!
• 
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 4:24am.
Jack was a lucky boy indeed to have a mom who loved him as much as you did, and judging from that adorable picture, he loved you back twice as much. I know how painful it is to say goodbye to a "fur child", and you do not sound the least bit crazy.
Hope your grief gets a little bit lighter with each passing day and your heart remains filled with great memories of Jack like the ones you've shared here. He was obviously a very happy guy because of you. With any luck, he will run into my late Labrador in Dog Heaven. (She was always extra-gentle with little dogs.)
_________________________
It is simple. He is a Minister Without Portfolio.
What does this girl do again? Sing, act, write, paint? Is she helping the poor? No, she just buys the hair of poor Asian women and tapes it on her head.
I lost my very best friend in all the world my little black and white pomeranian named Jack he died last Friday. Jack was such an amazing dog. He was sick with Kidney disease, and put up an amazing fight. I was able to buy him an extra 9 months of life, but it's never enough. I watched him take his two last breaths last Friday, it was horrible. I wish there was something more I could have done for him in his last moments other than pet his head. I thank god Jack did have a nice life, he went on many trips with me. I could never leave him behind. I would open the door to my house and he would already be standing by my car ready to go with me. He loved traveling and sitting in my back window looking out. I remember his eyes when he saw the ocean up north in Canada. He just kept staring out with a smile on his face. I miss my little guy so much. I buried him in my parents backyard in front of their rose garden where he loved to lay down in the sun. We have a beautiful Angel statue that a local artist made, and my parents planted these beautiful white flowers that outline his grave. Jack is facing up looking at the Angel.
I know I sound crazy, but I loved my dog so much he was like my child :( It's so hard knowing that he's gone forever :( :(
A.cotw:
I lived in Berlin for 5 years, so I have done more than my share of wild shit in that city. But I guess I had not done it all, because tomorrow night I will be donning drag in a show for my friends. Last minute request and I said yes to help them out, but I have never done drag and I am NOT liking the thought of shaving all my hair off and my goatee, etc.
But I told them they better make me look good or I am not getting on stage!
I am the love child of Grace Jones and Barack Obama!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 2:12am.
Triston, I am half-mad with envy! In the late 1980s I took an academic tour of Germany. The Wall was still up-yes,I am that fucking old. Berlin was absolutely amazing. We went to lectures at the Free University,The US Consulate,Humboldt University,every museum in the city limits,etc. The Philharmonic nearly made me swoon.
I was a 19 year old virgin at the time, so I didn't get up to any ho shit. ( The entire group was nearly thrown out of a B &B in the middle of the night,but that's another story.) Do something wild on my behalf,okay?
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 1:48am.
You're welcome. Folks put up with me and my brain-damaged ramblings.
Khensu made the Dean's List earlier this year. I'll bet the little VW egghead is trying to make Phi Beta Kappa as a junior. I do not think that she is a senior yet, if that is what you meant by graduating with honors soon. In the US, final examinations are written at the end of each semester,not at the end of the degree program. The prelims or midterms are in the middle.If her university is on the semester system, this means four exam sessions per academic year.
The longest exam I took was for a Chinese Foreign Policy class-after four hours we crawled out on our hands and knees contemplating the career opportunities available for nubile college drop-outs,such as stripping.
Have you seen Good Bye Lenin! ? In it the sister abandoned a degree course in Marxist-Leninist economic theory to work at Burger King. Hilarious,clever film.
A.cotw:
This International Heaux of Mystery is about to board a plane to Berlin for about three weeks of sin, shows, and sun!!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by A.cotw on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 1:36am.
Thank you for making my day. Here's hoping that Khensu will surface soon, graduated summa cum laude and all.
Greetings from rainy Gouda
---------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:53pm.
Mickey, I wonder where my little VW is, too. Perhaps she is busy studying for her final exams? For what it is worth, I don't think you're merely tolerated here. You are one of the International Heaux of Mystery, as Breaky/Triston would put it, and therefore valuable!
xo
A citizen of the world
Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 12:03am.
She must have been famous during that season...Minnie Driver was a guest star and Bubble says that CZJ stole her thunder. HA!
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
They can easily be one in the same :). check fb for the answer
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:53pm.
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:07pm.
"Ok, so this is completely random, but I wonder where Khensu's been lately?"
The grey haired think alike (I'm just teasing you). I put out an APB on Khensu earlier this week, but seeing as I'm of course merely tolerated here it remained unanswered. I do kinda worry about her though, because she was definitely a regular and now she seems to have dropped off the radar.
LOL at grey heads thinking alike! Yeah, it's kinda weird that Khensu's been gone so long. Idk...I hope everything is alright with her.
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:07pm.
"Ok, so this is completely random, but I wonder where Khensu's been lately?"
The grey haired think alike (I'm just teasing you). I put out an APB on Khensu earlier this week, but seeing as I'm of course merely tolerated here it remained unanswered. I do kinda worry about her though, because she was definitely a regular and now she seems to have dropped off the radar.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
Tehee, our book club convo reminded me of an episode of AbFab. Eddie, Patsy and two of their friends are sitting around a table getting all phylosiphical (sp? is that even a word?) about the characters, their struggles, etc.
Then the camera pans out and it turns out they're reading tabloids about Catherine Zeta-Jones. :)
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Hey, CZJ would shank a bitch.
I doubt she takes shit.
Intetesting choice of celeb.
I wonder why.
___________________________
GERONIMO!
Am I ahead of shit or what?
http://www.naturalnews.com/032454_zombie_apocalypse_CDC.html
;)
book club?
Shit.
After midnight, must go before I turn into...
an old lady who must pick up her father from the airport this morning, have breakfast with him and endure questions regarding why I am not married and why I am not making more money.
Good night!
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
OP songs reminded me of this...long time ago, good memories...
http://youtu.be/zqFmzVbe_l8
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:02pm.
You might be hallucinating AND the Dead did a version?? I actually have "Giant Step" on my iPod. It's great traveling music.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:56pm.
off to feed the fuzzballs, and make prank phone calls to the CIA office, folks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVzLyhWRAy8
i know... it's a 'lil off, but... it's still Winwood
later days, all!!
___________________________
Well if we're paying tribute to Winwood, we have to include:
http://youtu.be/nska0v86o54 and
http://youtu.be/nFkFtyJGae4
Goodnight, keeper of the fuzzballs.
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Ok, so this is completely random, but I wonder where Khensu's been lately?
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:57pm.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:47pm.
Very nice! Like the Allman Bros's live version, too.
_________________________
I do too. Did the Dead do a version too, or am I hallucinating?
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
I better get to bed now or I'll be on here all night. Have a great evening and sweet dreams dlisters -- who would have thought the suggestion of an on-line book club would generate so much debate? LOL
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:47pm.
Very nice! Like the Allman Bros's live version, too.
off to feed the fuzzballs, and make prank phone calls to the CIA office, folks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVzLyhWRAy8
i know... it's a 'lil off, but... it's still Winwood
later days, all!!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Zombie Apocalypse on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:49pm.
Erich Fromm's "Escape from Freedom" is an intense read.
Some of the funniest Amazon.com book reviews are the ones where people get into huge arguments with massive commentary on one person's opinion/rating and it can get outright nasty. Before amazon.com implemented the "Amazon Verified Purchase", it was hard to tell if someone honestly purchased the item they were rating or just being assholes. I almost always skip ratings by people who aren't 'verified' now. Thankfully, Amazon has been fairly good at weeding out trolls who try to bring a competing product rating down. Unbelievable sometimes how bad it was.
______________________
LOL - I'm reading your post but my eyes are hypnotically drawn time and time again to your avie. I can't help myself. I love it!
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Erich Fromm's "Escape from Freedom" is an intense read.
Some of the funniest Amazon.com book reviews are the ones where people get into huge arguments with massive commentary on one person's opinion/rating and it can get outright nasty. Before amazon.com implemented the "Amazon Verified Purchase", it was hard to tell if someone honestly purchased the item they were rating or just being assholes. I almost always skip ratings by people who aren't 'verified' now. Thankfully, Amazon has been fairly good at weeding out trolls who try to bring a competing product rating down. Unbelievable sometimes how bad it was.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:42pm.
don't worry... the mushrooms won't let me forget that one!LOL!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spRJ7FDsujM
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:33pm.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:28pm.
Love him. Crazy about side one of "Giant Step" (with Jesse Edwin Davis).
__________________________
Love him too - I feel like he never got the credit he deserved - here's another one of my favorites:
http://youtu.be/ofxm_cWlUGQ
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
The IMF dude just resigned--something about bad food and poor wireless reception.
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:15pm.
I wonder what it's like to see an autopsy...I have friends that are lab techs, and sometimes they can volunteer to observe autopsies.
***********************************************
It can be a bit unnerving at first and dependent upon the case. You soon learn what you should and shouldnt eat for lunch if you have a tough case in the afternoon. I lost my lunch more than once.. and Ive seen seasoned drs turn green. Its kind of sad to say, but after a while you turn a hard to it. You have to to get the job done.
All this being said, it is fascinating as all hell !
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:34pm.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:23pm.
ooh, that's a goody!... next up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvGIf_Ivclc
___________________________
For the love of all things psychedelic, you can't forget this one:
http://youtu.be/kCMO9sTxKDI
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:38pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:00pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 9:54pm.
I am not just saying this, I am pursuing a medical AS in a sort of assistant mode, would there be any kind of job in the ME's office I could get with that kind of degree?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Depends upon your state/district requirements. Im sure there is, I would check it out if I were you.
_______________________
Thanks, Morb.
I will check it out. I'd love to work at a funeral home, but I know that's a real family business thing.
My degree is geared toward me working with either animals or dead people.
NO HUMANS!
It's in the contract.
Or at least, in MY contract with myself...:)
Have a great night, C.
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:00pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 9:54pm.
I am not just saying this, I am pursuing a medical AS in a sort of assistant mode, would there be any kind of job in the ME's office I could get with that kind of degree?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Depends upon your state/district requirements. Im sure there is, I would check it out if I were you.
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:31pm.
Submitted by Crystal Gayle on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:19pm.
It is very dramatic in here tonight. I am reading a book about exteme couponing right now. Does that count as a viable book? Please say ye
_________________________
If it includes suggestions on how to get boxed wine for pennies on the dollar, it's not only viable, it's got legs!
________________________
Lol, some boxed wine is good...and I used to be a major wine snob...Pinot Evil is the best!
The only bad thing is you can't see how much you're drinking until it's too late.
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:23pm.
ooh, that's a goody!... next up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvGIf_Ivclc
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Zombie Apocalypse on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:29pm.
Taralegal on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:25pm.
I have a book, Thinner Thighs in Thirty Days. Would that work?
The book "Thinner" by Stephen King was good.
______________________________________
Both of those books were good!
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:28pm.
Love him. Crazy about side one of "Giant Step" (with Jesse Edwin Davis).
Submitted by Crystal Gayle on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:19pm.
It is very dramatic in here tonight. I am reading a book about exteme couponing right now. Does that count as a viable book? Please say ye
_________________________
If it includes suggestions on how to get boxed wine for pennies on the dollar, it's not only viable, it's got legs!
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
Taralegal on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:25pm.
I have a book, Thinner Thighs in Thirty Days. Would that work?
The book "Thinner" by Stephen King was good.
Might I suggest a "Morse Code" club?
-- . / ... --- / .... --- .-. -. -.-- / -- . / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. --- -. --. / - .. -- .
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:22pm.
She got the pony because it's harder to forget in the closet.
__________________________
Rusty, your comment reminded me of one of my favorite songs:
http://youtu.be/AIjZCU5xGYE
__________________________
Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
I have a book, Thinner Thighs in Thirty Days. Would that work?
Submitted by Crystal Gayle on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:19pm.
It is very dramatic in here tonight. I am reading a book about exteme couponing right now. Does that count as a viable book? Please say yes.
________________________
Lol, I swear, when people were like, what is NOT a viable book, I was wracking my brains, and a couponing book came to mind...
But, then I threw it out!
Because I have watched those coupon shows and those women can save money, and I really need to know how to do that.
So, Couponing Book for the win!
I jusr recently realized that my stupid Randall's card is only giving private info about my buying habits to them so they can do God knows what with it....
_________________________________
GERONIMO!