The Last Ho Who Should Replace Mariska Hargitay Might Replace Mariska Hargitay
I'd like to think that Mariska Hargitay can see the future and knew this hurtful rumor was coming, which is why she has a look on her face in the picture above that says: "This is the mess you're going to replace me with?"
Deadline Hollywood says that Mariska will make next season of Law & Order: SVU her last and the producers are now looking for the lucky actress who gets to share space with Christopher Meloni's freshly waxed chest clits. Jennifer Love Hewitt guest starred on SVU last season as a rape victim and the producers must've been hypnotized by the shiny sparkles jumping off her crotch crystals, because her name has come up as a possibility for the new lady detective. They haven't offered her the job yet, but they're talking to her about it.
The only Law & Order Jennifer Love Hewitt belongs on is Law & Order: Candyland. This is like replacing a lion with a whiny kitten who only stops meowing if you pet her.
With Detective JLove on the case, the number of false confessions will hit record numbers. Get Det. JLove in a locked room with a suspect and the talk will quickly turn to how she doesn't understand why her boyfriend won't propose to her, and why didn't he get the hint when she bedazzled her crotch with the words "PROPOSE TO ME ALREADY!", and why did he give her the middle finger instead of putting an engagement ring on her finger, and why did he say "lose my number" instead of saying "marry me" before leaving her apartment that morning? And Why? And Why? And whywhywhy?
That really is the quickest way to get an innocent man to scream: I DID IT! GAS ME!
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The British Law and Order is awesome!
On CI Goren and Eames were/are the best. Couldn't watch the show without them- even though Noth and Schiorra are good it wasn't worth watching for me without G&E!
I couldn't ever watch SVU because I don't have any interest in the personal lives of the detectives. I am strictly interested in the cases and maybe some periferral personal info but nothing sappy.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
I've never seen that show, but I don't mind Jennifer Love Hewitt. Why are people so down on her?
I agree that SVU needs to call it a day. It has just gotten lame and boring.
This is how it should end-Meloni and Mariska have a one night stand she gets prego and runs away to have her kid without telling Meloni and he loses his marbles looking for her. The rest of the cast gets reassigned to other units. End of story and L&O LA gets hit by a tsumi. That show sucks!
Mariska's character is always crying about having a kid and they are in love with each other. If Meloni hadn't done a one night stand with his almost ex, he would have gotten together with his partner.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 1:01pm.
I loved Briscoe too! Even when he got his awful facelift IRL. I liked Briscoe and Logan the best. They were the two originals.
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Logan was on the original L&O, but not Briscoe. Briscoe was his third partner. Greevy was Logan's partner for the first season and Cragen (now on SVU) was the captain of the original L&O. I love the way the L&O franchise recycles characters.
Criminal Intent is airing its last season on the USA network and the last episodes will run on NBC starting May 30.
I loved the SVU episode with John Stamos where Meloni was trying not to laugh in all his scenes with him. Especially the one where they found Stamos wearing his reading glasses to prick holes in his condoms! I kept that episode because it was pure hilarity.
Whew! I thought she was being replaced by Octomom for a minute...
I guess in JLove's dreams.
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GERONIMO!
I would rather see SVU cancelled than see this fuckery. I don't think anyone can replace Mariska. I'm on season 5 now and love this show!
i never thought jen was attractive. and she looks even worse now. although hargitay isn't as young as she used to be- she is much better looking than hewitt.
Is it just me or is Jennifer Fuck Hewitt fucking ugly? Her face is awful looking!!!!!!!
Submitted by Cowjam on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 3:06pm.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 2:26pm.
I had been thinking of an unknown South Asian or Arab woman, but Regina King is a great idea! She has star power, intelligence, and strength.
Dammit, is it THAT difficult for Hollywood to do something creative?
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Regina King is already busy on Southland.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
Anyone know where I (we?) could complain to NBC? SERIOUSLY!!
This will be easy …..
I will be consulting with assorted gayelle women friends as to who should replace Mariska…all lesbians love her and I can tell you right now,this whinny little lard ass will not meet with their approval….
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
This will be easy …..
I will be consulting with assorted gayelle women friends as to who should replace Mariska…all lesbians love her and I can tell you right now,this whinny little lard ass will not meet with their approval….
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 2:26pm.
I had been thinking of an unknown South Asian or Arab woman, but Regina King is a great idea! She has star power, intelligence, and strength.
Dammit, is it THAT difficult for Hollywood to do something creative?
Cowjam - I like the way you think. Regina King or Kerry Washington would both be much better than JLove, and I bet there are a million unknowns who could also fit into the role.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I love that MK chose this pic, because it whoreheartedly (no typo) express my thoughts on the subject. OK, aside from her boobs, how is it that she's still in this business? She's fugly X infinity. Mariska is hot, and still will be hot at 60, 70 to infinity. This better be a joke
Don't watch this show but putting jlh on is a great way to tank the ratings.
vidz:
I hadn't considered that. I was more impressed by the hospitality and can-do attitudes that were expressed in the film.
ETA: Veers back on-topic. Perhaps replacing Mariska with a woman of colour would recharge L&O's batteries.
the phrase "jump the shark" is coming to mind...
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Cowjam
As an Indian myself I don't know if I find outsourced funny or insulting. A bit of both I guess.I just find people with obviously american accent talking in obviously fake, heavy Indian accent a little offputting.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
I loved Briscoe too! Even when he got his awful facelift IRL. I liked Briscoe and Logan the best. They were the two originals.
Jerry Orbach played Dot Zbornack's boyfriend in the GGs one episode but she left him because he just wanted to get married, but not necessarily to her. She did come back for the cannoli, however!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Misty on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:46am.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:44am.
Exactly. Plus their characters haven't hooked up yet. Yeah I know it will never happen but damn it should.
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THIS.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Submitted by dlaugher on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:42pm.
I haven't seen the show yet, but the film "Outsourced"is one of my all-time favorites. Charming and heartwarming, with a lot of truth in it, from my perspective.
DUDE WTF. Mariska is such a tough yet tender bitch on that show and J Lo Hew sucks so bad. This better be a rumor.
I cannot picture J Lo Hew interrogating a tiny kitten much less a serial rapist or killer. Get the fuck outta here, this can't be true!
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
been slowly catching up on all the old CI eps on reruns. The other day the taxi driver was Rajiv from Outsourced. ok, i know i'm probably the only one here who watches that show, which is going to be canceled. i love it!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
I think a better choice would be that woman who starred in the show Mercy, she'd be excellent at it
Cowjam - OH! I getcha!
ME: Upset that I won't be seeing it in real time.
Cowjam - why upset about him being on it? Or upset that someone told you about him being on it?
Shit, is it September yet? I need SOA to start up again!
M.E. NP. I was more upset today when I learned that Danny Trejo is going to be on Sons of Anarchy. We are only on season 2 here.
cowjam - well shit. Sorry for the spoiler!
Gee, thanks MK, for linking that Meloni pic, again. Dammit. Fantasy time isn't convenient at the moment. Grrrrr. (I do prefer the hairy nips, though.)
I don't remember if they killed off Annabella Sciorra's character or not, but she wasn't bad on CI. Or since this is the last season of CI, move Eames to SVU. I didn't watch Lost religiously, but maybe Evangeline Lily (sp?)
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Hekki - I thought it turned out they weren't sisters after all?
Damn, I didn't know about Maria Bello. We are about 2 seasons behind overseas. But I think she is a fantastic actress and I wish she would get a series.
Thanks Jersey!
Submitted by Cowjam on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 11:59am.
Perhaps we could help out the producers by suggesting more viable replacements for Mariska?
I'll start: Sharon Gless, Maria Bello, Jane Lynch.
Hell, even Jillian Micheals could do a better job than JLH.
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Can't, she was a guest actor last season(?)who was an alcoholic who murdered her mothers rapist (her father). She also left her son with Benson, giving her parental authority, then took the kid back at the beginging of this season. (I may be off with which seasons)
So, she won't work.
IF, I loved Goren and Eames the best, too!
Also adored Briscoe. And Adam Schiff.
Cowjam, they can't add Maria Bello because she played Benson's half sister! Although in the old L&O days, they recycled actors quite a bit. The perp in one episode would be a defense lawyer in another. A bartender/actor we used to know played a few different bit parts for L&O back in the late 90s.
I really miss the old L&O days when they didn't get too into the personal lives of the main characters. The show was supposed to be sort of timeless - it was about the crime and punishment.
I can't even stand to look at this talentless, desperate cow. I'd sooner watch a Chaz Bono marathon.
How can it be that there is NO ONE BETTER on all of Earth?? These producers just aren't trying.
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Covered it with what?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 11:49am.
Eames surrogate for her sister>
IRL or on the show?
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Character's surrogate pregnancy was written in because the actress was pregnant IRL. Goren & Eames were my favorite pair on that show, too. But I think my favorite of all the L&Os was Briscoe & Curtis.
ETA - sorry didn't see that IF already answered this.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
IF - OH! Ok, I remember when she was pregnant IRL and I thought they tried to hide it in the show.
(I only watch CI occassionally) didn't finish that season to know about the surrogate story line.
Thanks!
Perhaps we could help out the producers by suggesting more viable replacements for Mariska?
I'll start: Sharon Gless, Maria Bello, Jane Lynch.
Hell, even Jillian Micheals could do a better job than JLH.
On the show. M.E.
Erbe (the actress) was pregnant in real life but it didn't suit her Eames character to have a baby so they quietly did the surrogate line and in the show, they occasionally referenced it. She refers to the child as "my neice".
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Dark-sided!
Ha! Best headline of the day.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
They can't just stick a fork in this shit instead of bringing in new blood, which by the way Hollywood, RARELY works.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Eames surrogate for her sister>
IRL or on the show?
Ok, I also think SVU is shit now, I haven't watched it in a few seasons because the over-acting was laughable.
I thought this was Meloni's last season, too?
And what's this about Goren and Eames coming back to CI? That was my fav. show of them all, I loved Goren's batshit crazy yet highly intelligent character (he's also a bit crazy IRL) and Eames' easy going character who quietly surrogated for her sister. I was hoping they'd hook up but it's even better that they didn't.
Are they coming back? Where? When? I need to know!!
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Dark-sided!
MK must be feeling as lazy as I am today!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Looked at some other pictures and hewitt's definitely packing... Just what the show needs.