Amy Wino has checked into her favorite place ever, THE CLINIC, for a full week, but it isn’t what you think. Wino’s visit has nothing to do with the bad shit and she also isn’t there for her annual tune-up which involves prying off the year-old ballet slippers that have embedded themselves onto her feet skin and pouring more of those liquid-absorbing water crystals you get at the swap meet into the place where her liver used to be. Nope! The Sun says that Wino is laid up in The Clinic, because she wants to get her body ready for a womb invasion. Yup, Wino wants a baby (cut to Child Protective Services building a pop-up office in front of Wino’s house).
A source tells The Sun, “Amy has checked herself in. She wants to get herself ‘baby ready’ so she and Reg Traviss can start a family in the not too distant future.”
BABY READY? What does that even mean? Are they installing one of those swimming pool fences around her womb so that the fetus doesn’t crawl out and accidentally eat on a lump of coke lying around in there? Are they getting one of the experts on Hoarders to clean out her uterus, because over the years her system has used it to store stuff that has made its way into her body for one reason or another (examples: crack pipes that weren’t strong enough to resist her suction skills, half of Blaaaaaaaake’s peen, the patch of hair missing from Prince William’s head, etc…)?
I bet that Wino is in there to get the plastic watermelons in her chest removed, because she doesn’t want the gross taste of silicone to taint the 100 proof vodka milk her titties produce. Not wanting to serve your newborn a nasty tasting White Russian is the true sign of a wonderful mother!