This Is Our Future, Part 16

You might have already put your ears back like a frightened puppy while reading about the wonderful pageant mother who uses her skills as an esthetician to wax her 8-year-old daughter’s legs and inject back alley Botox into her face. Well, the mother who makes White Oprah look like June Cleaver defended herself on Good Morning America today. You know you’re a new definition of gross when blond robot Lara Spencer overrides her hard drive’s commands and shows disgust towards your actions.

Kerry of San Francisco should really be using needles to inject some potent commonfuckingsense directly into her skull, but instead she’s using them to fill young Brittany’s face with Botox she gets from a source she won’t reveal. Kerry doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with it since all of the other pageant moms do it too. Brittany says that the injections hurt and that she has cried during them, but she looks prettier and more beautiful afterward.

I’m pretty sure that one of the reasons for God to hit the red button on us is: “A mother Kardashian-izing her 8-year-old daughter.” We’re ready.

Why is that most of the pageant mothers who torture their daughters in the name of beauty need a lot of help themselves? All the money that Kerry is using to buy Botox could be used on new pair of glasses that don’t look like they came from a Costco circa 1997. How about instead of drowning her daughter’s childhood with Botox, she gets herself a haircut so she won’t have to hide her split ends in a bun. I swear, mothers should really think about themselves more often.

Oh, how I wish I could telepathically communicate to Brittany that the next time her crazy bitch mom waves the Botox needle around, hit her with this line: “Fix your fugly face situation before trying to fix mine.”

And the only good that can come from this GMA interview is that Child Protective Services will parachute in, grab Brittany and replace her with a porcelain doll since it seems that’s what Kerry really wants.