Feel Free To Talk Shit About Matthew Perry While He's In Rehab
And as you're talking mess, Matthew Perry will be side-eyeing you from his rehab suite.
Matthew is making it so that the patients and technicians at the rehab clinic he's about to check into can't sell a story off to the tabloids for a check made out to cash. Matthew is beating them to the virgin punch. (Yes, I know the "punch" in "beat you to the punch" isn't that kind of punch, but doesn't it sound more delicious if you think of it that way?)
Matthew is letting the media know that he's going away for a while to work on his sobriety for the third time. Matthew doesn't say if he belly flopped off the wagon or if the wagon knocked him off, he's just saying that he's checking out for a minute so don't look for him.
"I'm making plans to go away for a month to focus on my sobriety and to continue my life in recovery. Please enjoy making fun of me on the World Wide Web.”
It's no fun to mock a ho when they invite you to do so. Way to deflate a cunt, Matthew.
via E! Online
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Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 10:42pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 10:29pm
Hey Centy!
Have you checked out the rug on his head?
It's like a car accident - you can't look away!
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Hey!
Yeah, I can't wait to see what Ralph Macchio is going to do without it on DWTS on Monday.
I'm sure he didn't think he was going to need it anymore.
Good night! :)
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 10:29pm
Hey Centy!
Have you checked out the rug on his head?
It's like a car accident - you can't look away!
Rehab for being a has-been.
That's a new one, but will more than likely soon have a rather massive waiting list.
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GERONIMO!
AH! It's been bothering me what is wrong with this picture and I just figured is out. His face is too small for his giant head. Like Powdered Toast Man.
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
I agree that the hair on top looks as if it was plopped right on top of his head.
"Friday the 13th I'm a play Jason"
Unbeweaveable! The weave on his head, I mean.
"Google me, you dumb fuck!", said some punk bitch rookie cop.
I like Matt Perry. He seems like a sincere guy and he is handling his addiction openly and honestly and without making lame excuses, like Blohan.
..
.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Actually no, I don't think we should. Matthew, it's great that you understand you have a problem, and it's also great that you realize that you can't fix the problem yourself so you are seeking professional help. I wish you the best. After you've kicked the habit, then we can both have a laugh (and for you, not at you).
Alibi, i always disturb you actually, nonetheless, in my view, there is various other strategy for deciding of a concern.
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What exactly terms... very, excellent strategy
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I think what he said is funny.
I wish him the best.
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I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
Wow. That is one bad wig.
Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 7:30am.
Does anyone know what he is addicted to?
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Robitussen?
I actually love him. Have you ever seen the Whole Nine Yards & The Whole Ten Yards? HILARIOUS!
I like him. Friends went on forever but he's a good dramatic actor as well.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 7:30am.
Does anyone know what he is addicted to?
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Attention? :) I read somewhere (probably here) that he went to rehab before for abusing Oxy.
It feels good to be home where I am not alone in hating all things Friends. Never watched it and proud to be free of those pictures in my mind. At this point in his "career" Perry is publicity hunting. Sad.
who is this?
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Does anyone know what he is addicted to?
fuck everybody's going to rehab. We caught and took out Bin Laden so you celebrated. No biggy. I think you get a pass for that. Never. happened.
Carry on.
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"I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...I better not say anything till I've had my coffee...a slut and a moron! I'm sorry, it must be decaf."
The incomparable Dorothy Zbornak
Now all I can see is that horrid wig too! LMAO I never knew he even had one but now....look at that fuckin thing. Bawahaaa!!!
I it looks like a dusty skunk roadkill that got booted down the highway for 5 - 6 miles, picked up slapped across his thigh to dust it off and then dropped on his head not so carefully.
I hadn't realised he wore a wig until everyone pointed it out and now it's all I can see. It's eerie the way it just seems to hover over his forehead like that, isn't it? Although I do like the way his side eye in that picture seems to be saying "you're looking at my wig aren't you?"
The Dutch have an old nautical saying " driemaal is scheepsrecht" (third time is the charm). Unfortunately, this saying rarely came true for ships passing the Bermuda Triangle. The only way Perry is ever going to kick his habit, is by switching to a nine to five job with no temptations.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I give him a lot of credit for admitting he needs to go back in for a tune-up, and then invites everyone to make fun of him. How many people, celebrities or not, are that secure? Not many.
Kadooze Matthew, you've got two things most people don't - self-awareness and a sense of humor. I wish you the best in your sobriety.
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Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
how do you mock matthew perry? teasing cardboard would be easier.
He was on the ticket (radio station in dfw) and he sounded fine, made a few dry jokes.
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What's up, douchebag?
Nah, I'm not gonna do that [mock the fact that he's in rehab]...but I WILL continue to ignore the fact that he exists!
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
I like Matthew Perry's first 6 words oh if only he was just going away!!
Even better if he took all the over rated Friends alum with him. Mediocre show that ripped off others (especially Seinfeld) for plot ideas. TERRIBLE acting with them all posing and YELLING their lines. NOT FUNNY!!!
Submitted by Dolly_D on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 8:00pm.
LOL@ World Wide Web. *scrambles to work on some DOS files but can't find the floppy disks*
I bet he was being ironic--beyond cool or something.
Ever see that recent vid of young kids being shown floppy disks and asked to guess what they are? They had NO idea...
What Dog said. We're not going to make fun of you for going to rehab. We're going to make fun of you for saying "world wide web". Oh my
Would his rehab story have even sold? Does anyone care? And I really don't know which is the more fucking horrendous show...Two and a Half Men or Friends. When I was just a youngster (kind of) and Friends was on, I thought to myself even then that you would have to be a brain dead retard to watch that shit.
His new show Mr. Sunshine makes Friends look like Shakespeare.
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 8:40pm.
I cannot believe they chose Ashton Kutcher. FAIL. I know it's not a popular opinion around here but *whispers* I actually like 2 1/2 men. I also have 12 boy humor. I detest Ashton Kutcher though. This won't work. Last I had heard it was going to be Hugh Grant oh well.
On-Topic: I have always liked Matthew Perry. I also like the nerdy self depricating types.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by chestybongos on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 6:59pm.
Oh wait! I totally see what's going on here. He's trying to get Charlie Sheen's old gig on Two And A Half Laughs. Well played Chandler Bing, well played.
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Perry is too late if he wants that Charlie Sheen gig.
Ashton Kutcher is taking over.
I don't watch 2-1/2 Men in first run, but I can tell you this-
The main audience for that show was middle aged men, not the guys who were interested in some pretty-boy, cougar-hunting asswipe like Ashton.
The first couple of episodes will do well because people love to watch a train wreck. But after that, it will come to an end. The boy, Jake, is grown now and watching some randy teen competing with his uncle (or whatever Ashton's character is going to be) is stupid and boring.
I think charlie will have the last laugh.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
He must need to boost the ratings of his shitty show. That wig is awful.
Your nose is too pointy!
I saw a pic of him recently and wondered if he was back on the coke.
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Shiitake happens...
You've got it all wrong! He is not going to rehab but rather to the funny farm for extreme paranoia disorder. Or something like that.
LOL@ World Wide Web. *scrambles to work on some DOS files but can't find the floppy disks*
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Is it just me or what, people with big moles on the front of their faces bother me.
*hides from the pits of hell cindy crawford battled through to make face moles sexy*
Matthew Perry who?.....jeez, who gives a fuck?
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*takes another puff of Alaskan Thunderfuck*
I've gone all Honey Badger on this shit.
I've gone all Honey Badger on this shit.
His hair piece should have been a little less full as to avoid suspicion. It just shrieks HAIRPIECE. Even with the grey bits it still looks like a bit of road kill. A raccoon perhaps? But good try.
I hope he doesn't drink watching reruns of his old show. That would be so pathetic, on so many levels (you know he does).
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 7:14pm.
" I'll actually tell anyone I'm with to pick the line because I'm that challenged in my line picking skills."
"""""""""""""""""""
Same. I'll happily rely on the judgement of someone else before my own.
But, I'm resigned to the affliction now.
I patiently stand behind the schoolboy as he pays with shrapnel from his piggy bank, or the woman who can't find her credit card and then forgets the PIN when she does, or the man who suddenly remembers his wife told him to pick up a pack of tampons and has to run back to the toiletries aisle but insists his confused 5 year old keeps his spot. I'm calm. I'm quiet. I smile at the confused 5 year old who is wondering what the fuck is a tampon.
*sigh*
chandler bing is my favorite friends character. and i liked the studio 60 show that was on for 5 seconds. so...this is my way of wishing matthew perry well.
fucking double post.
Louise,
That hair on his head certainly does look suspicious. I've never seen that new show, but he looks mighty haggard in the promos. I also always found his speech impediment/lisp to be particularly annoying.
Chnandler Bong.
[weed joke]
ZOMG ROFL!
*cough.
Alrighty then.