Stock The Cupboards With Barley Formula!
Unflattering pictures of Jennifer Aniston leaving a Mexican restaurant after swallowing tequila shots and tortilla balls were not available for OK Magazine's "YES, SHE'S PREGNANT" cover, so they went with Katie Holmes instead. Stepford Katie's rep has already blamed Photoshop wizardry on the reason why there are pictures of her with audit bloat, but OK's source say that she's lying and she really is pregnant with Suri's next torture victim.
This source says that Katie is telling her friends she's knocked up and is going to wait a little while longer before she makes the news public. One her friends told OK!, “She said she’s finally past the morning sickness phase. She was talking a mile a minute. She’s so excited.”
OK! really wants me to believe that between shooting movies and taking Suri for her daily photo-op strolls, Tommy actually found the time to cum into a frozen turkey baster (shoved gently up a male hustler's ass, of course) and then present it to an L. Ron Hubbard hologram in a lavish Scientology mating ritual? Yeah, no. It's not in the contract. I'll believe it when I see Katie shopping for tiny clothes at the tiny people store. Actually, scratch that, she could be shopping for her husband. I'll really believe it when I see Suri moving her shit into the guest cottage, because she's not going to let some screeching brat ruin her beauty sleep.
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Is this a real pregancy or a fake pillow baby again???? Is the "real" baby waiting for it's parts
Suri is an AVERAGE LOOKING little girl. Nothing special.
It's gonna be tough to come up with the perfect storm that made Suri one of the cutest babies ever. Hate or love this clan, she is a looker.
Unlike say, my avatar.
Congrats to the photoshopper who made Katie look like she passes the BMI and still has a soul.
Submitted by Paige123 on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 3:48pm.
How did Suri let this happen???????????
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Hahahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa Right?!! Suri must be bored w/ controlling mom and dad; sibling is next! This is some Omen shit!
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
I can't believe people believe everything in these tabloids. I mean, that picture of William and Kate is from a few years ago.
Katie is starting to resemble Khole lardassian a lil' bit in da face...This is not a good prepreggers look...By the time Kate graduates to the six month pillow phase, the daily waxing of her back and temples will cause stress to the baby...and by baby, I mean lil' Tommy Girl...You know he can't stand that noise...It reminds him of a 'glib' Matt Laur...and he has to PUNCH a dirt star...er, I mean, wall...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I tend to believe it, because Tom Cruise is sue crazy and everyone knows it.
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I'm bored with babies and engagements and happiness and joy and shit. - ImpertinentVixen
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 4:08pm.
I bet Suri tries to smother the interloper.
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Ha! Could be something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOFKdWk8Ink&feature=related
I bet Suri tries to smother the interloper.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She is so trying to look like Kate Middleton.
Too late, you married the frog.
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GERONIMO!
If this is true i guess those contract negotiations where to much of a good deal for Katie to pass up...
How did Suri let this happen???????????
that main cover shot looks like a really old photo.
Suri is going to transform into a little monster when the baby arrives. I don't imagine this princess wants to sure her mommy with anybody, especially a screeching newborn!!
"If tommorrow was a gift, what would you do with it?"
I carry around a bump like that too. Menopausal middle as my gyn likes to call it
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Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one
The half sibling Suri never wanted!
Man...bitch takes Beard duty to a whole new level.
Knowing suri (lol) she's gonna stand in the corner of that childs entire life giving it the constant side eye
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What's up, douchebag?
I wonder if suri will throw a 'bitch please!' at the sib if it asks for just one gummi peen. Brat.
Suri will not happy about this!
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 1:11pm.
It will be a boy, they will name it Yuri, and it will have actual tentacles....
...which it will use to scoop boxes of gummy peens into it's beaklike mouth.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Jenelle probably needed to go to rehab, but that crazy bitch Barbara needs to be locked up somewhere too.
"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen." -- Woodie Guthrie
REVEL! A MALE HEIR FOR THE THRONE
His forehead shall be anointeth with the juices of ripe mango and this shall play on speaker whilst he is presenteth to thy Lord Xeno. Suri wilt thou loathe or hanker? I trow not!
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
"I'll really believe it when I see Suri moving her shit into the guest cottage, because she's not going to let some screeching brat ruin her beauty sleep."
What? The Princess in the guest cottage? Never! LOL. Kind of reminds me of Oliver & Company "everything from the doorknobs down is MINE!"
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
It will be a boy, they will name it Yuri, and it will have actual tentacles.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by perky on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:53am.
but will this child be as AMAZING and INDEPENDENT as Suri?
^^^^^^^^^^^ Yes!! As we know, Suri is actually designing her mother's wardrobe and picking her own outfits, since she's so "Amazing", and the new embryo is currently managing the family's investments and finances, from the womb.
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Hahahah! This made me laugh for real!
I wonder if Suri would be regarded as such a creepy child if she had a more normal name. Suri sounds like an action verb in some brutal space alien language.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Is that where Chris Klein has gone? He's being farmed by Scibots for surrogate sperms.
Katie that chanting music you hear from the Omen means you in danger girl. Keep Suri's tricycle out of the house!
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
"OK! really wants me to believe that between shooting movies and taking Suri for her daily photo-op strolls, Tommy actually found the time to cum into a frozen turkey baster (shoved gently up a male hustler's ass, of course) and then present it to an L. Ron Hubbard hologram in a lavish Scientology mating ritual?"
BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
So 2012 really is the end!
Wait, I'm confused.
I thought a tabloid had to apologize for saying that she was pregnant, but now she said she is pregnant???
What the fuck happened to this girl's acting career???? She was on her way to be like her former co-worker, Michelle Williams or Ann Hathaway, but now, nothing.
Shitty movies or embarassing roles is all she has left.
Another spoiled Scientology-spawn.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
Suri is hard at work summoning the powers of Xenu to stop this fetus from usurping her throne. She is going to do everything in her power to make Katie speak during the birthing process thereby inviting the thetans to take over the newborn child and enable her to retain her crown. Nothing and no one will stop her from her ultimate quest to become The Supreme Empress of $cientoloty. As we speak she's sending her minion Benjamin Travolta to fetch her pacifier so she can hatch her ruthless plan.
Here it is -- oops!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Girl_zombie_eating_her_victim_Night_of...
DirtyWhoreMouth -- this is what I imagine Suri doing when she hears mommy is pregnant (the kid who killed & ate her parents in "Night of the Living Dead"):
Idiocracy. It's really happening.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:29pm.
Furthermore, the "TEEN MOM SHOCKER" headline really doesn't come as that much of a surprise.
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Haha! I just zoned in on that too.
A SHOCKER?! Really? Not really.
This whole cover gets on my nerves achally - from the unofficial official news about fucking VITAMINS to the unshocking shocker, Kim K's on another diet *yawn* and yeah - Will is lookin' supersexy up there (NOT!)....this magazine is so extra pathetic. How the hell does it still exist?
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
So let me get this straight; Katie has not admitted to being pregnant, but OK Magazine is running this front page claim that she's officially admitting she is pregnant. WTF?
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
I predict an unfortunate donkey kick administered by Miss Suri to Ms. Katie's belly once she fully realizes she'll no longer be Queen Sciento-baby.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Suri is going to eat her face off.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Hahahahaha! They better get that baby a bodyguard.
ppfffttt. I had full on hot crotch for Katie. Remember Teaching Mrs. Tingle? Now, look at her. Damn it, Tom Cruise ruins everything.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 8:04pm.
Submitted by Banayna on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 7:57pm.
Are you people retarded?
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Is this a trick question?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:53am.
but will this child be as AMAZING and INDEPENDENT as Suri?
^^^^^^^^^^^ Yes!! As we know, Suri is actually designing her mother's wardrobe and picking her own outfits, since she's so "Amazing", and the new embryo is currently managing the family's investments and finances, from the womb.
For the good of humanity I hope she's not pregnant. Can't say "pregnant again" for the simple reason she was never pregnant. Suri is just another adopted child and Katie's pregnancy was nothing but a huge fakery.
was this pregnancy approved by suri? if not, that's katiebot's and tommyboy's ass...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
You know Suri is sharpening her shanks right now.
Furthermore, the "TEEN MOM SHOCKER" headline really doesn't come as that much of a surprise. Jennelle is absolutely frightening...makes Amber look like a veritable saint.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:19pm.
*performs abortions down a dark, seedy ally behind a chinese restarant*
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Is the Tiny Spicy Cat any good at that restaurant?
Except in this fucked up version you drop BOTH chirrenz from the ledge and start from scractch!
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