Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 11, 2011 / Posted by:

Momma Opossum, the invincible possum who was shot five times in a cage and didn’t die!

In my mom’s backyard, she always had a family of possums hanging in the trees staring back at us the same way a middle-aged man at an 18 and over dance club sits on the speaker box and creepily glares at the young girls shaking their shit on the floor. They throw the “don’t leave your drink unattended” stare. They’ve always creeped me out. But they aren’t creepy and they have feelings like us (I know, I’m a regular Obvious Hanna this morning). Just because they hang from trees, steal dog food, attack small animals and knock our trash cans over doesn’t mean they are evil! Ke$ha does all of that and more and we still let her into public places. Bad example. But we certainly shouldn’t trap them in a cage and then shoot them in the face up close five times! And that’s exactly what some evil possum hater did to Momma Opossum in Waterloo, Iowa.

The Humane Society found Momma Opossum in a cage with six babies in her pouch and five bullets spread out across her face and shoulders. They thought she had gone to the great big backyard in the sky, but she didn’t! Momma Opossum lives! They removed most of the bullets and have already released her back into the wild. They have also offered up a $500 reward for information leading to the arrest of the possum hunter (ten jars of moonshine says it’s a Cyrus)!

Teresa Evans of The Black Hawk Wildlife Rehabilitation Project tells the WCF Courier, “To trap an animal in a live trap and shoot it repeatedly – in our opinion, it’s cruel. I think she’s going to do fine out there. She’s got an excellent second chance now in an area that’s pretty undisturbed by human habitat.”

Oh, Momma Opossum is going to do more than fine out there. This bad bitch has cheated death (or maybe she did die, rose from the dead and is now a ZOMBIE POSSUM!!!) and now she’s out for revenge! And she’s also out for a little dog kibble and crab apple from your tree, but mostly she’s out for revenge!!!!

(Image via WCFCourier)

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >