Another Real Housewives Marriage Eats Dust
In news that even Alison the Slycic could have predicted, Taylor Armstrong of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and her skeezer slimehole of a husband Russell have quietly tiptoed away from their marriage. Taylor has said that her 7-year-old marriage to Russell has become nothing but a business arrangement and he always has a tortured look on his face like he's a stupid argument away from giving up on life. (No, I don't mean suicide, silly! I mean that he'll only get around on a Hoveround, won't ever change his underwear, will only survive on items found on a drive-thru menu and won't bathe unless an order from the health department forces him to do so. Like half of America!)
Most of Taylor and Russell's problems come from the fact they've got Aston Martin tastes on a Yugo GV budget. Their frivolous spending habits have left their finances as empty as a plastic surgeon's entire supply of Juvederm when Taylor comes to visit. A source says that Taylor has moved out and is so upset that she's lost 15 pounds.
How can Taylor lose 15 pounds when bitch doesn't even weigh 15 pounds! Poor ho is probably nothing but yallaw weave, bones and lips now. Like the bottom of a box of KFC after Jessica Simpson ravages through it.
This is for the best, though. Taylor is a crazy gold digger who sucks at gold digging, but I still don't know how she slept next to Russell's creepy ass for that long. Russell probably sleeps with both eyes open and slurps on canned anchovies in the middle of the night as a snack. He's always been like a skinny Penguin to me. I never blamed Taylor for plumping up her mouth to monkey anus proportions, because she was probably hoping if she keeps injecting, her top lip will block her view of Russell's face one day.
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IMO her face is truly grotesque. She looks like the Joker with a gaping painted mouth hole stretched from ear to ear. Her husband might have issues but he'll have one less when he parts from her. Gawd is she hideous!
Im pissing myself with laughter MK-you are truly the best!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Putrid people; skanks and shysters. Together or apart, they are nasty and vapid.
Wait - isn't that Julia Roberts???
Mebbe she lost the 15 pounds from her lips.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:30pm.
And this comment from blogger gretchen (aka Taylor) on Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 4:52 PM: "SHE IS VERY PRETTY, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE JENNIFER GARNER. SAME GORGOUS FACE."
Cheese and rice, what is it with people named "gretchen"??
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Hand me my shank.
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 2:31pm.
(trust me, every Aspy I've ever met acted incredibly weird when you put cameras on them).
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Except Jev on Amazing Race! He was funnay!
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
I hate this bitch. She and her BFF Kyle Richards are evil, evil people.
I feel sorry for her little girl, though. Poor kid.
Team Kim!
Ewww. Dorky couple. Her arm looks like a deer leg.
.
.
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/season-1/vid...
If you know nothing about her, here is her 2nd most legendary moment-standing on the table at her kid's party was the top.
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Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 4:10pm.
I have no idea who these people are and for that I am thankful.
Armstrong is a penny stock scam artist.
Russell has always given me a murder-suicide vibe, but without the suicide...until ten years after he bludgeons Taylor to death with a claw hammer, assumes a new identity on the lam, and the SWAT Team corners him in some seedy East L.A. hotel room with an underaged sex trafficked Thai hooker that he's in the process of strangling...it's either suicide by cop or he blows his own brains out, take your pick...I don't know, I get that vibe...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She probably burned through a few million on dental floss alone.
I fucking hate when people show their bottom teeth when smiling.
I have no idea who these people are and for that I am thankful.
Having said that, he looks like the male Sarah Palin and she looks like the tranny Camille Grammer.
(Speaking for her, that takes real talent.)
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GERONIMO!
My fave Tay moment in social climbing is when she claimed Adrienne Maloof was Kennedy's godmother. Then low and behold at the reunion Adrienne denied it all saying she needed to pick someone close to her daughter.
HA!! Can't stand this woman!
People with that horribly clenched smile are some of the most insecure assholes on the planet. Trust. I know a few.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:53pm.
Actually Aspberger's would make a lot of sense. He's socially awkward, he doesn't like to party, he's not demonstrative, and he acts like a freak when cameras are on him (trust me, every Aspy I've ever met acted incredibly weird when you put cameras on them).
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Bjork You:
Taylor has nothing but praise for castmate Camille's care for her own children during their parents' divorce: 'I just commend her for the fact that she's been able to stay focused on her kids and not show the stress that I'm sure she's under to them.'" Translate: suck up now to the bitch with the biggest settlement.
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Bwaaahaaaaahaaa!!!!!! Isn't it funny how on the show Taylor instigated all that drama, turned everyone against Camille and now she has nothing but good things to say about her. Bitch knows she's about to be back in Oklahoma working at a truck stop Denny's. She better kiss Camille's fifty million dollar ass.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:40pm.
http://www.taylorarmstrongfansite.com/
I don't know where to begin. I feel like Whitney Houston who just found the mound of cocaine that Scarface has on his desk. Where to start sniffing? Is it that this fool has the nerve to use her name and "fan" in one phrase? That she has cupcake sprinkles bursting in spots on the screen? Is it the script font (she loved those looping heads and tails the cursive gave her Ts and F's)? No, no, scroll down the photo of the billboard. I haven't even gotten to "Tay's (Tay?!?!?) Picks."
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Bwhahaha! Thanks for the link Bjork...be careful on "Tay's" site because her ginormous lips will pop out of the screen and knock you on the floor. It's hard to believe that anyone could be as vapid as this woman. You can't access the chat forum unless you sign up and make "positive" comments.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
He can do better.
Oh my god, her FACE!
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
color me sooo not surprised on this one...this couple was impossible to watch on RHOBH cause he was scary creepy and she is scary insecure and they seemed as compatable as Courtney Love and bath water, or Tommy Girl and a female vagina...you get the pic. They both are super strange...but why reproduce?? Poor spoiled fucked up little girl...probably getting lip injections as we speak.
Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives: "...I felt sorry for Russell for being married to this two-faced golddigger. All she did was backstab people including her own husband whose main crime appears to be that he is an introvert. Christ. "
I agree. You all might remember that I floated the theory that Russell was a high-fucntioning Asperger's. Maybe not. But I totally don't buy her "victim" act.
We're not getting the whole story. (As usual, on these shows.)
Oh, is this that mutant lip lady from that housesluts show?!? I tried to watch that shitfest once but her inflated lips were so gross and distracting I couldn't take it.
http://www.taylorarmstrongfansite.com/
I don't know where to begin. I feel like Whitney Houston who just found the mound of cocaine that Scarface has on his desk. Where to start sniffing? Is it that this fool has the nerve to use her name and "fan" in one phrase? That she has cupcake sprinkles bursting in spots on the screen? Is it the script font (she loved those looping heads and tails the cursive gave her Ts and F's)? No, no, scroll down the photo of the billboard. I haven't even gotten to "Tay's (Tay?!?!?) Picks."
Dear Taylor (I guess you thought "Tyler" was pushing it) from Beverly Hills (ahem),
Please go back to your real name, Maybelle Luaane de Lessups Skeeter Jones. And while you're at it, go back to Oklahoma and go visit your little cousin Lonnie who played the banjo so well in "Deliverance." (I don't care if the film wasn't shot in or doesn't take place in OK; you get where I'm coming from.)
You are a fake, snotty shit stirrer who married a serial killer. That "man" wasn't off on business; he was in another state strangling and then butchering and burying highway hookers. Long Island police need to check his ass.
Some bits from an interview:
"Despite appearances to the contrary, Taylor insists Russell is 'a charismatic guy and a lot of fun.'"
"I don't give my daughter that elaborate of a birthday party every year," she notes about Kennedy's previous um, three, milestones. "Next year I'm sure it'll be much less extravagant." (Regarding the $60K she spent on her 4-year-old daughter's birthday [and don't forget the stuff she had to get FOR HERSELF for the party].)
"Taylor has nothing but praise for castmate Camille's care for her own children during their parents' divorce: 'I just commend her for the fact that she's been able to stay focused on her kids and not show the stress that I'm sure she's under to them.'" Translate: suck up now to the bitch with the biggest settlement.
And this comment from blogger gretchen (aka Taylor) on Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 4:52 PM: "SHE IS VERY PRETTY, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE JENNIFER GARNER. SAME GORGOUS FACE."
Here is the article: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b215495_beverly_hills...
I wish I could hear Kim laughing. What does Taylor have to be snug about now? At least Kim was in one of the best movies ever made. Taylor is sad, dumb and ugly.
Creepy as hell, both of them. I can't believe she paid for that shiny 'toxed forehead, slug lips and whatever she had done to get that little situation between her nose and cheeks.
"Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:54am.
I saw a couple of episodes of this abomination and I felt sorry for Russell for being married to this two-faced golddigger. All she did was backstab people including her own husband whose main crime appears to be that he is an introvert. Christ."
Co-fucking-sign!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Taylor's mouf reminds me of a duck. QUACK.
the termination of their pregnancy, however, is something that will last forever
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/taunting/a-taunting-of-osama-bin-lade...
Maybe he got tired of her always asking "Why so serious?"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I saw a couple of episodes of this abomination and I felt sorry for Russell for being married to this two-faced golddigger. All she did was backstab people including her own husband whose main crime appears to be that he is an introvert. Christ.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Well well well. Look who's the latest addition to the Beverly Hills Housewives:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20488625,00.html
none other than the Brandi Glanville we know and love!
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
Oh and her name isn't really Taylor either
LOL@all you guys...who knew Taylor could be funny!?....For some reason this is the only Real Housewives I could sit through. I hated Taylor AND her husband. In a way I thought they were made for each other except she likes to party and he doesn't. He should have bought himself a showgirl, bought her a pool boy and be done with it. O yeah - they ran outta money. So there you go - they both still suck. How the fuck could he run outta cash when he's working 24/7...or wait a second! Maybe he already HAD a showgirl! That would make sense.
And her smile - OMG - she's totally a fox in the henhouse saying: What chickens? I din't see no chickens!
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Maybe she plans to chase after Ahhh-nold now. Golddiggers never change.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:20am.
........
Aaaaannnnnnndddd, it's sad I know all this.
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Right there with you BSF..... what's that southern expression?
If you have something to say, sit beside me.
Submitted by No Words on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:18am.
I can't stand this backbiting, troublemaking bitch.
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I forgot about her conniving ways and the pot stirrer that she is.
Poor Kim didn't stand a chance against Joker Barbie.
Her marriage to Russell prolly helped her hone that bitchy skill.
I hope Taylor Trash gets exactly what's coming to her. She's a grifter who has lied to people that she's a "Ford". One of the "Fords" of the carmaking clan. Not to mention she's a shallow, plastic, bony awfulplasticsurgery nightmare. Aaaaannnnnddd, she was mean to Kim Richards for no reason.
Aaaaannnnnnndddd, it's sad I know all this.
How can Taylor lose 15 pounds when bitch doesn't even weigh 15 pounds!
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For realz! She must look hella sickly at this point.
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
I can't stand this backbiting, troublemaking bitch. I felt sorry for his fug ass, though.
They're just getting divorced NOW? Talk about wasting your life away.
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Can you imagine how gross she looks with this 15 pound weight loss? She was already ick nast skinny but 15 lbs is a lot. I bet she is loving her new look too.
Maybe she's smiling like that because he's pinching her. Otherwise there is no excuse for this Joker grin.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Just waiting for Alexis of OC and her asshole husband to divorce. Now that's going to be spectacular. All those Jesus and Bible quotes and Christian bullshit and you know he's beating her ass and cheating on her. When he leaves her, she's going to dissolve into a Red Sea of tears and blood that even Moses won't be able to part. Oh, with giant boobies floating on the top.
OMG her joker smile is creepy! She was a good stepford wife though!
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 10:18am.
WTF? Does this bitch use Smylex?
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BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA! WINNER!
Bitch gotta smile like the front of a Buick.
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