Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

May 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Which actor is suffering from a skin disease that requires him to use bronzer on his nether regions? (Page Six)

There are just TOO many clues here that it should be obvious. This person is a man who acts for a living and that narrows it down to about 4,907,127 possibilities. This man who acts for a living also has skin the color of a Cheeto after its dipped in Daddies sauce and that narrows it down to about 2,185,999 possibilities.

Shit, I’ll just go with Matthew McConaughey?

Which artist, after a long recording session, demanded that three supermodels be sent to his bedroom? The sleeping beauties were awakened and dispatched to the hotel with a promise that they would be featured in his next long-form music video. (Page Six)

Kanye West? But it isn’t what you’re thinking. Kanye is fraidy of the dark so he asked the supermodels to stand guard and make sure no Taylor Swift monsters crawl out from under his bed.

Two girls, one pup. These sisters are famous, for different things in the industry. They both share ownership of a very noisy dog. When a neighbor put in several complaints about their dog to the authority one of the sisters, (the less famous one) tried to get the dog’s voice box removed. The other sister, upset by the idea had started taking the dog to a trainer instead, but the problem has left the two of them with a grudge against the other. (BuzzFoto)

This isn’t Parasite and Nicky Hilton since I’m sure the neighbors can’t hear the dog bark when it’s shoved in the back of her dirty panty drawer in the closet. The McCord Sisters? I don’t know, but I do know that debarking a dog is the worst. It’s what murder sounds like. Seriously. It turns their bark into the sound of a dozen suffocating puppies.

Don’t believe anything this funny actor says about his latest girlfriend. She’s just the latest in a long line of paid-for strippers that he tries to pass off as girlfriends. The only thing that sets her apart from previous girlfriends is that all of her body parts are real. And she plans on keeping them (Blind Gossip)

Drew Carey?

(Image via Flickr)

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