Alicia Silverstone Is A Virgin Who Can’t Drive And Can’t Name Babies

May 9, 2011 / Posted by:

But first! We’re going to need some theme music to go with this post. Hit it!

Alicia Silverstone is a mom! YAY! Now turn that YAY upside down and you’ll get the word that will come out of your mouth after finding out what she named her baby. By the way, YAY upside down is ʎɐʎ, which means “huh” in Hebrew. Alicia and her husband Christopher Jarecki tell People that she birthed out her first vegan baby friend last Thursday and they have named him:

Bear Blu Jarecki

BEAR! Bear is what you describe yourself as on your Manhunt profile when you’ve got hair on your shoulders and a fupa that won’t be ignored. Bear is also what you name your Golden Retriever if you want to be the 123,965th person at your vet’s office who has a dog named Bear. Bear blew sounds like what one of John Travolta’s sauna hookers writes on his client profile under “describe his performance.” Bear Blu is not what you name a baby!

What the hell kind of quinoa is Alicia snorting?

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