Charlie Sheen Is A Wonderful Father And Teacher

Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen’s 2-year-old twin boys, Bob and Max, already know the words “winning,” “warlock,” “8-ball,” “ODed hooker,” “crack rock” and “jewface demon” from spending time with their daddy and now he’s teaching them yet another word they can tell their child therapist after they’re caught by authorities trying to escape to the hills to be raised by wolves. Charlie tells TMZ that while he’s taking care of his boys this weekend, he’s going to teach him how to say “rehab” since that’s where their mother spends most of her time. This Mother’s Day, Bob and Max are going to forgo giving Brooke the usual gift of a yellow handprint plaque and will instead give her the gift of saying “rehab” to her face. How fucking warming to the heart that is.

Charlie eloquently explained it like this to TMZ: “I am teaching them words, because they’re speaking now. I’m teaching them the word ‘rehab’ so they always know where their mom is.”

Charlie could be joking, but knowing his crack-damaged brain, he isn’t. Let’s hope he isn’t, though. Charlie really is the one to teach our nation’s children the important words they will need to know for future use. This just confirms that Fisher-Price really needs to release a “The Crackhead Says” See ‘n Say starring the voice of Charlie Sheen.