Jesse James Says Kat Von D Is A “Vixen” In Bed

Vanilla Gorilla writes in his memoirs that he never felt he was on the same level as Sandra Bullock, because she’s a high-class movie star with refinement running through her veins and he’s a piece of trash biker kid who listens to his music too loud. VG goes on to write that he felt trapped being married to Sandra which is one of the reasons why he licked on every tattooed labia in the skank bouquet. There’s one way he’s putting the blame on Sandra. VG subtlety put more blame on Sandra yesterday during an interview with Howard Stern. But before we get to that mess, here’s what VG had to say when Howard asked him if his ex-wife was better at sex shit than his current fiancee. You already know the answer.

Howard: Who’s more fun in bed? Sandra Bullock or Kat Von D?

Jesse: That one’s an easy no-brainer.

Howard: ….Kat Von D

Jesse: Yes, sir. Hundred percent.

Howard: Hundred percent?

Jesse: She’s a vixen, man. I love her.

Howard: What is she doing in that bed? She must be hanging from the ceiling.

Jesse: She just… Man, the way she just gets in my head and makes me feel. You know, it’s a mental thing. Just connected on a whole different level.

If Sandra Bullock has the stuff that makes nutsacks burst into the clouds above and open a pathway to heaven for the angels’ voices to travel through, this bitch would still say Kat Von D. If Kat Von D gave head like a catatonic turtle and laid there like an al dente lasagna noodle, he’d still say Kat Von D. The answer to that question is: who ever he’s currently fucking. Therefore that question and answer are both invalid. Moving on…. Howard then brought up a very good point.

Howard: If she cheated on you, you’d be devastated. You’d understand the hurt that Sandra went through.

Jesse: If she cheated on me, I would forgive her and still love her.

See, another slight dig followed by a slap of blame. Vanilla Gorilla is full of so much cold shit that it’s starting to back up and trickle out of his mouth. Even an enema the size of the Hoover Dam can’t clear him out.

Kat Von D should really take his words as a dare and scoot her poon all over everywhere. Let her vag flag fly without shame! Just leave a trail and see what he does then. Take him up on that, Kat!

via Radar