Wednesday, May 4th 2011

What In The Hell Kind Of GD Ginger Ale Commercial Is This?


Overseas they always gets the best (see: fuckingweirdest) commercials starring celebrities and this one for Schweppes in France starring Uma Karuna Thurman is no exception. Uma lays the sedated sexiness on so thick that she's a hairless twink pool boy and a lace hand fan away from being an old Asian queen. Or Kunty Karl shortly after he takes in the soul of a chocolate bar with his nostrils.

The makers of The Kissing Box will realize they have just found the celebrity mouth of their product when they watch Uma awkwardly drink from that glass bottle like a porn star deep throating a rubber dildo. It's very, "I am only doing this because they tell me it looks sexy but no part of me enjoys this."

Posted by: Michael K


She is so pretty, I prefer this pub than the old..

  • trouver les conseils et les informations pratique afin de réussir au mieux la décoration intérieur de sa maison sans passer par des pro du l'architecture intérieur.
beakers bitch's picture

"Uma lays the sedated sexiness on so thick that she's a hairless twink pool boy and a lace hand fan away from being an old Asian queen."

LOL! She did seem awfully.....sedated. And tralala, thanks for the Orson Welles champagne commercial bloopers. That was hilarious.

RockstarDani's picture

Haven't heard from this lady in awhile!...and this is what she's up to? Damn...meanwhile, her ex is in America making BABIES!!! like no other!

"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)

My favorite celebrity commercial of all time-- that is, my favorite outtakes from a celebrity commercial of all time-- a drunk Orson Welles for Paul Masson Wine. Love the poker faces on the other actors. Aaaahhhhhh, the French… champagne…

French Mofo's picture

Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:53am.

I also love the "please remember not to be a fat bitch" blurb at the end. Those French are so damn fit and healthy.

Yeah (lol) and we have it even for fruits, vegetables or water commercials.

At least it's better than the Kidman one.

I like it, I would have liked it more if she was in full Poison Ivy wig and costume

Yeah, Ethan Hawk was a FOOL to cheat on her. Look at his wife now...nowhere near what Uma is!

BitchyD's picture

I love it! It's so bad it's good.

ewlulu's picture

Guess it's better than being completely unemployed.

Echo27's picture

I love that the Schweppes bottle is even sexier in France!

Wanted's picture

I also love the "please remember not to be a fat bitch" blurb at the end. Those French are so damn fit and healthy.

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:19am.
In 2010, her movie Motherhood, set a record for the biggest bomb in British cinema history garnering just £88 on 11 tickets on its opening weekend.

hahaha! Just the way I like my movie theatres. (Them some expensive tickets, too.)

PantyChrist's picture

I'm sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination.

bitchSpray's picture

omg, i'm speechless. i only hope she got a HUGE amount of money for this because it's a total SHIT
* * *
my dirty mind at http://bitchspray.tumblr.com (nsfw)

angel_i's picture

LOL! Nothing tastes good when you're tryna save your lipstick.

♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.

Wanted's picture

LOVE IT! This commercial would work in the States if the person being interviewed was Raja or RuPaul!!! I would go out and buy a case of Schwepps instead of my usual fire water

westward ho's picture

for a minute there, when she tilted her head back to take a drink, i thought it was going to wobble and fall right off her neck.

...

but, then again, what do i know?

nunya_bizness's picture

She went form Kill Bill to hawking Schweppes.

In 2010, her movie Motherhood, set a record for the biggest bomb in British cinema history garnering just £88 on 11 tickets on its opening weekend.
In the United States it earned just $93,388 in three weeks of release

Lemonaide's picture

Dumbass commercial. Uma looks like a tranny.

fuckyoutoo's picture

Weirder still, the French post a warning after the commercial that you should eat not less than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

You think Coca Cola could so the same here in the states???

Like humor, advertising doesn't translate well from culture to culture. Since Schweppes is worth billions and not stupid, you have to assume it's confident that this sort of ad will sell well in France. Imagine being French and watching a Sit 'n Sleep or ShamWow commercial.

Gaza Strip's picture

It was fine, except for that stupid drinking-like-a-twelve-year-old-who-thinks-she's-sexy shot. That was idiotic - either terrible direction, or a bad script from the agency...

Datura's picture

Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:55am.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:07am.

Americans would be shocked at which stars are considered hot and/or classy in Europe.
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One of the reasons I like reading the UK Daily Mail online is to see which stars they are talking about. Nicole Scherzinger is big in the UK and there is an article about Suri Cruise everyday. The Beckhamloonies are as big there as the Brangeloonies are here and they seem shocked that the Beckhams aren't on the cover of every U.S. magazine.

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I read purepeople.com (which is like the French Eonline) for that reason. It's amazing to see the American reality star nobodies who are covered on a regular basis on that site.

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

What kind of goddamn computers do you guys have that you can see all the botox and puffy face? I can't see shit on mine or maybe my eyesight just sucks.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

boomsy's picture

I like their ginger ale, but that did NOT make me want to drink any in the least...

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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...

Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:11am.
Bizarre. The last time I drank ginger ale was at a party for some Mormon friends of mine. Those Mormons loved that shit.
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Tell me about it. i have Mormon relatives. They like fruit punch, too. Whenever I visit them (out West) I make sure have plenty of the sweet nectar to keep me going while I'm there. They actually allow me to keep it in their house. I'm sure they had to clear it with their Bishop, though.

chewba's picture

Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:44am.
Submitted by chewba on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:20am.

I find it most disturbing that they offer RAISIN flavored in the line-up. Mmmm...dried fruit soda.
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Raisin is the French word for grape.

well that does make sense now doesn't it? Oh la la.

guest's picture

I do like the bottles tho.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

"Pour votre santé, mangez au moins cinq fruits et légumes par jour." And what--wash them down with Schweppes?

Dirk Diggler's picture

It's a bit over the top, don't ya think?

sonne's picture

Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:31am.

She reminds me of Alexandria from ANTM in this. Never would have made that comparison before.
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Bwahahahaha. Scary!

Uma looks sexier without all the paint and I found the commercial awkward and not all that funny. Still like her though and the dude was kinda cute in that euro-might be gay way (when compared to american dudes). ;)

They should have just used Kim Cattral's geratric ass, since Uma is channeling Samantha from SATC so hard.

http://mycashdragon.com/?id=1230

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:07am.

Americans would be shocked at which stars are considered hot and/or classy in Europe.
-----------------------------------------
One of the reasons I like reading the UK Daily Mail online is to see which stars they are talking about. Nicole Scherzinger is big in the UK and there is an article about Suri Cruise everyday. The Beckhamloonies are as big there as the Brangeloonies are here and they seem shocked that the Beckhams aren't on the cover of every U.S. magazine.

snowpiece's picture

European soda is sooooo much better, that ginger ale looked so delish!!

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK

"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."

stake_spike's picture

That doesn't even sound like her. I'd expect this kind of fuckery from Japan but France? And I wouldn't expect Thurman to go the botox route but her face is all sorts of puffy.

She rocks notwithstanding the dumbass commercial theme.

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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK

Schlong's picture

Ms. Thurman [if you're nasty] oozes sexuality like many Taurus women dooby dooby do. I thought this self-deprecating commercial was spot on. Funny? No. Sexy as fuck? YES.

SpiceDong's picture

Submitted by chewba on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:20am.

I find it most disturbing that they offer RAISIN flavored in the line-up. Mmmm...dried fruit soda.
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Raisin is the French word for grape.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Schlong's picture

And she swallows!

One sold American male.

SpiceDong's picture

I think she looks fantastic...I love that she is channeling her Poison Ivy campy routine here...she was the only good thing in that Batman movie.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

They totally seemed to have lost the humor in this commercial. Either she didn't know how to read the lines to make them funny or the director didn't get it but most likely it was Uma. She's never seemed to have a good sense of humor and the director most likely is too afraid to upset his star by giving her any direction God forbid. She's always been a pretty bad actress who got really lucky because she was so gorgeous back in the day.
I still think she's pretty though (and always has been) although I've never seen her in person. She seems like she's really tall in person.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

Roops! Sorry double post dammit! I'm too impatient for my computer this morning!:)
PS I am so happy MK was in Texas last weekend! Does anyone know what city he was in ?

LisaRose's picture

She reminds me of Alexandria from ANTM in this. Never would have made that comparison before.

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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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guest's picture

Whatever.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

Hekki's picture

Overkill.

I think Uma is beautiful in an unconventional way. She looks rather like a llama or camel or something. But she's one of those actresses I love to watch.

Whamo's picture

Must be the makeup or something but she looks like shit in this and I love me my UMA.

Her nose looks like Parasite Hiton's in this mess.

moomarse's picture

I love Uma, but that was fuckingweirdest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my favorite movies of all time Mi Vida Loca saying:
"Take all of your happy little shit and go."
MK 4/21/11 National High Five Day

chewba's picture

I find it most disturbing that they offer RAISIN flavored in the line-up. Mmmm...dried fruit soda.

Rdeadline's picture

My take on it is Uma was lighted and costumed like an old time movie star. Pick the sex siren goddess of your choice; Harlowe, West, Dietrich, etc.

suckandfuck's picture

oololol Bobby Trendy is missing his WORLD RENOWNED bracelet collection!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.