Marie Osmond Pulled An Elizabeth Taylor Today
29 years after Marie Osmond and Stephen Craig summoned a mob of Mormon side-eyes by getting divorced, they have decided to give that shit another go. Marie and Stephen starred in an reboot of their first wedding by getting married for the second time at the Las Vegas Mormon Temple (please tell me it has video poker in the lobby) this morning. Since Marie's face today looks nothing like it did 40 years ago thanks to porcelain facials, she wanted Stephen to recognize her so she wore the same hot dress she wore to their original wedding in 1982.
Marie and Stephen chose to do Marriage: The Sequel today, because it's the born day of her late mother and late son Michael. Marie released this statement after getting married FOR REAL this time.
"I am so happy and look forward to sharing my life with Stephen, who is an amazing man as well as a great father to my children."
I will only approve of this Mormon union if the maid of honor at the wedding was Baby Mary Hart:
Porcelain fumes are a helluva drug.
via People
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Stephen is a sucker. Lying in another man's filth as they say.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:48pm.
@literarylioness, do you remember on SNL when Julia Louis Dreyfus and some guy (I don't remember his name and I am too lazy to google that shit right now) were playing D&M and they were singing a Christmas song or something and they started making out? Hilarious!
Eddie Murphy as Gumby had to tear them off each other.
I remember almost nothing of high school calculus, but I remember this. Whuh?
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I do! It was "Gumby's Christmas Special" and it was hilarious!
If you ever see Donny and Marie together, you get a real icky vibe from them. They are just too close. Donny was all over Marie on Oprah's show.
Except that from what we know Liz married a man whereas Marie is marrying an obvious homosexual!
Hmmm. Members of the church that aggressively opposes same-sex marriage. Screw them.
.
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She probably thought she had to start making nice to him at this age since she won't be able to get into heaven without him calling her temple name when she dies.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 5:58pm.
LOL. Don't hang your head in shame... true or not, I'm strangely impressed with your knowledge on this subject bc you must be a walking archive of completely random celebrity gossip... Where did you hear this? I'm sort of amused because she called her brothers when she feared for her life... yes, the numbers might be intimidating but really, what were the Osmonds going to do? Sing to him?
29 years is pretty good for Hollywood. Unless they lived off in the hills of Utah in Morman country.
@literarylioness, do you remember on SNL when Julia Louis Dreyfus and some guy (I don't remember his name and I am too lazy to google that shit right now) were playing D&M and they were singing a Christmas song or something and they started making out? Hilarious!
Eddie Murphy as Gumby had to tear them off each other.
I remember almost nothing of high school calculus, but I remember this. Whuh?
...and the bride wore Jessica McClintock for Gunne Sax.
You know what's weird? Donny married a blond looking Marie and this trick looked like a blond Donny. I still say brother and sister were in love with each other.
Im NOT a practicing Mormon, BUT I know all of the beliefs...I quit the church in '99. My choice.
Slurpee....
Are you Mormon, because I am. Just wondering where you got your 411.
Jeebus FUCK, her and that puppetmaster stroll with demon doll is TOO DAMN MUCH. Fking creepy really.
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
What I wanna know is...do her dolls have the special Mormon underwear on...? I'M OBESSED WITH MORMON UNDERWEAR...It gives you special powers, you know...I WANT MORMAN DRAWZZZZZ!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'm all over a cute stuffed animals but those fucking dolls are the devil on earth. my sister has a whole case of them in the bedroom, no less.
I'd sleep on the couch.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:15pm.
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She had claimed husband # 1 beat her and cheated on her. She supposedly called her brothers and begged them to come get her because she feared for her life. Later on, she claimed husband # 2 also beat her, and that he didn't work. She's also hinted that he sexually abused the son who committed suicide. However, there are some people who think she's making the whole thing up. Husband # 2 was pretty sick with a brain tumor for awhile.
And now I'm going to go hang my head in shame because I know all that.
what's with the slow posting and multiple posts today?
@Slurpee are you tryna talk sessy to me?
dang it! double post
Those Mormon sex-me outfits are making me so hot.
Do they really truly do sex with their clothes on? Every time? Shee-it. Do they have special outfits for teh buttsecks?
@Slurpee are you tryna talk sessy to me?
If she is happy then I am happy.
"Friday the 13th I'm a play Jason"
Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:13pm.
She also claimed husband number one abused her too.
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Sorry, stand corrected. But the guy that wasn't invited to the funeral and who the kids apparently dislike, is the 2nd husband. I guess compared the emotional (and physical?) abuse of the 2nd husband, the "mental cruelty" of 1st didn't seem so bad. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse type of situation. Really, though, from what I remember, the real big deal about the first husband was that he cheated on her, resented her success, and didn't work... and then resented that she worked so much and was on the road. From what I gather about the second husband is that he worked even less than the first husband... AND probably was even more abusive to her and the kids. I think she said on Oprah that it was the kids that banned #2 from her son's funeral.
I can't even get into what Mormons believe. They were featured in a religion course I took in college about CULTS. Supposedly one of the more recent examples of cults that grew into religions in the US. I still think they have a lot of cult-like tendencies. I remember trying to get into one of their temples -- the one in La Jolla with the golden angel on top -- and more or less being turned away after they gave me a bunch of literature in Spanish. Non-Mormons are not allowed in. And yet, these Mormons riding their bikes always want to stop me and talk to me about Jesus in supermarket parking lots... now when they do that, I take the advice of someone on some board somewhere and just start talking about the Osmonds... LOL...
Mormons need more men.
I'm not a fan or anything, although "Paper Roses" is a great song, IMO. But didn't they lose their son to suicide last year? I think that it is heartwarming that the tragedy seems to have brought them back together. Something like that would have torn most couples apart. Considering the circumstances, I wish the best for them.
When they divorced, Marie cited "mental cruelty." A year later, she married some other dude named Brian, and they were married for 20 years before she divorced his ass.
BTW, that's not her wedding dress in the above photo.
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I think this would have been a perfect opportunity for a dress that didn't look like it belonged on a country western Grandma. Oops I guess she was the little bit country one. Anyway, I hope they are happier this time around.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
*wonders what Mormons are like in the sack*
Anyways, when I break up with a guy it's ovah. Buh bye. I'm done, no looking back. I am still friends with one ex, though. Turns out he's a good friend, lousy boyfriend.
I'm totally with you on that one, BSF. I had one of my "Mr. Big's" (that guy that strung you along for ever, who you still let come back every time) try to contact me just the other day on FB after five years of no contact. I couldn't hit the "ignore" button fast enough. When I'm done, I'm done. Do not pass go, do not colect 200 dollars. and on a sidenote: it's kind of creepy cause that means he had to have been deliberately searching for me since I'm on private and we have no mutual friends
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Wow, she used to look like Molly Ringwald!
Marie, sweetie, honey, go to your home and be a good wife to that poor sainted man. Give up your career. Quit show business. Donny's the only one with any talent anyway.
Did anyone serenade the couple with a Mormon stiyle version of "paper roses"?
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Oh who cares. I'm still reeling from the fact that Jennifer Love Twat's name is all over the news because she broke up with her boyfriend. CNN even!
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:23pm.
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And I wouldn't wish a re-marriage to an ex on the debbil himself.
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Yikes, me either. There was a reason that I divorced that hairy-arsed fucker in the first place. *shudders*
The real Mary Hart freakin creeps me out, nevermind the doll!
Can't hate on Marie either though, esp. with what she went through with her son :(
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
my grandfather got married, got divorced, married my grandmother and raised 4 kids with her. when she died 30 or so years later, he dated women, but stayed single for ten years,
and then got in touch with, and remarried his first wife. and they stayed together till he died in his 90s.
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The McCanns Did It
agirl:
Actually I think it's supposed to be a hole in their "garments." These odd underwear most of the "worthy" ones wear:
http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_garments_section1.html
@But Seriously Folks - I think mormons have sex through a hole in the sheet (well not on Big Love they don't)
Can you picture this guy holding up the holey sheet and wiggling his eyebrows at ya, saying, "Hey, wanna?" lol
IV:
Yeah, it's pretty bizarre when you get to thinking about it.
Wow this one belongs in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame. Still dickmatized after all these years? Didn't he use to beat her up?
I can't snark on her too bad though. I think losing her son to suicide just completely knocked the wind out of her and clearly is affecting her judgment. She's looking for some kinda comfort but this is 100% the wrong place to find it. Yup this one is going to end very badly.
*sending healing vibes to Marie* No one should have to lose a child, and especially that way. And I wouldn't wish a re-marriage to an ex on the debbil himself.
I had a dress almost exactly like that in 8th grade back in 1981. I thought I was SO GAWJUS IN IT! Now I realize that I looked like my Gramma's couch doily. :(
So, how's that heteronormative archetype for the "sanctity of marriage" thing workin' out for ya?
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:05pm.
Since she was married to him once before, no matter who she marries after him, she will be "sealed" to him for time and all eternity since they went through a ceremony in a Mormon Temple the first time. And men can be sealed to more than one woman in heaven (this is how Mormons get around the whole polygamy-is-illegal thing here on Earth, by believing it's reinstated in the afterlife) and the women then give birth to spirit babies to populate their own planet. Yes, Mormons actually believe this!
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Giggle. South Park had a whole show on the Mormon religion and what they believe and added the screen words "Mormons actually believe this!"
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104253/joseph-smith-part-1
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:01pm.
Topanga - no, that was the 2nd husband. I saw that Oprah. That was the guy that she raised her children with, the guy they hate apparently. This guy was her very first husband.
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She also claimed husband number one abused her too.
I like Marie. She means no harm to anyone. If she wants to wed her ex again, good luck to them both.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:11pm.
I like Marie. She means no harm to anyone. If she wants to wed her ex again, good luck to them both.
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ITA. She may be a whackadoodle sometimes but she's not malicious at all. Plus, some of that remarrying stuff has happened with my relatives and her son committed suicide. Suicide is hell to go through and if he makes her happy, she should go for it.
Now if he whooped on her in the past...I'm gonna give her a serious "girl, please" side-eye.
Why do people do stupid shit like this? My hair stylist has been married and divorced 4 times already. He just met some new piece and he's telling me this past Saturday that "she's the one!!" I'm like WTF?
Why do some people feel that it is so incredibly NECESSARY to get married?
Since she was married to him once before, no matter who she marries after him, she will be "sealed" to him for time and all eternity since they went through a ceremony in a Mormon Temple the first time. And men can be sealed to more than one woman in heaven (this is how Mormons get around the whole polygamy-is-illegal thing here on Earth, by believing it's reinstated in the afterlife) and the women then give birth to spirit babies to populate their own planet. Yes, Mormons actually believe this!
Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:01pm.
Topanga - no, that was the 2nd husband. I saw that Oprah. That was the guy that she raised her children with, the guy they hate apparently. This guy was her very first husband.
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How many husbands has this broad had? I thought Mormons mated for life??
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 1:53pm.
Hold the F- up, is the same guy that she claimed on Oprah, was "abusive" to her and was "not a very nice man" AND who her and her kids openly said was not invited to her late sons funeral due to his ways. What is going on here?
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I guess she decided she likes it rough.
*wonders what Mormons are like in the sack*
Anyways, when I break up with a guy it's ovah. Buh bye. I'm done, no looking back. I am still friends with one ex, though. Turns out he's a good friend, lousy boyfriend.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON