Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 3, 2011 / Posted by:

Gary Weddle, the junior high school science teacher East Wenatchee, Washington who threw all of his razors into the trash right after 9/11 and vowed to never ever shave until Osama bin Laden was either killed or captured. If you can’t beat ’em, grow a beard with ’em. I guess.

After nearly 10 years of shuffling around while looking like a part-time Cat Stevens impersonator who knows all too well what beard dingles smell like, Gary finally got the call on May 1st from a friend who let him know to pop the shaving cream and razor off that flowing fall of goat pubes on his face! Gary started hacking off his beard with a pair of scissors even before President Obama made the official announcement. Yes, he started to shave it off without confirming the news as true life! This is how you know that Gary’s friends are respectful of his ridiculous stunts. If Gary was my friend or relative, I would’ve pranked his ass with a fake Osama death years ago, and then I would’ve burped out a “psych” halfway through his shaving so he could walk the earth with a horizontal beard mullet on his face. But Gary’s friends are better than me.

Gary isn’t getting branded with the Hot Slut label because he didn’t shave his beard for 10 years. Gary is getting it because he has made a silent vow to never update his “creepy neighbor circa 1982″ glasses. And because when it finally came time to hack the beard, he used a bright pink razor that most likely touched his wife’s pits only days before.

Even Conan O’Brien didn’t use a pink razor when he shaved his ginger forest of follicles last night!

via Mediate

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