Once you get past homegirl’s chichis that look like two baby elephants lying in a hammock on a hot August day, 29-year-old Stanley Thornton will tell you all about how he lives half of his life as a diaper-wearing, bottle-sucking man baby. National Geographic’s “Taboo” spent some time with Baby Stanley and learned that due to a fucked up childhood filled with abuse he started craving a normal baby life that he never had. So Stanley built a crib that can hold a 400lb baby, used his disability check to buy Legos and doesn’t feel at home unless Mother Elephant Tits is wiping his butt with baby wipes (insert terrencehowardperkingup.gif here). I know you’re probably thinking that is just some kinky diaper sex shit, but Stanley says that he de-stresses from baby role playing.
We all have our thing that keeps us from going crazy and tying a weight to our ankles before we jump off a bridge. For instance, I sit on the toilet and pretend that Diane Sawyer is asking me about my life problems for a very special edition of 20/20. Some might label this as “weird.” So how can I judge a grown ass man who willingly cacas into an adult diaper and feels complete when wet poop leaks up his back (copyright: Tina Fey) as he lays next to Mother Elephant Tits? I cannot judge him for this, but I can judge him for talking about it on National Geographic! The mothers in his play date group who bought Mama Elephant Tits’ “oh, he’s just a fast grower” excuse aren’t going to invite them over anymore!
And if Suri doesn’t put down the bottle, this might be her future.