And Jennifer Love Hewitt's On To The Next Man
That cracking sound you heard was from a dozen of Jennifer Love Hewitt's friends breaking their eye bones (YES, we have eye bones) from rolling so hard after seeing that she has called them after a year of silence. Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt is forever that friend who isn't even trying to have contact with you while she's got a man but will stick to you like sperm on a Duggar ovary when she doesn't. Well, JLove's friends will have to pry her off with whatever you use to pry size 2 clingers off of you, because she's single again. The basic cable Jennifer Aniston has let it be known to UsWeekly that she has quit it with her boyfriend of a year Alex Beh.
This is the same Alex Beh who JLove said brought her flowers every day. It's also the same Alex Beh who knew that JLove already had three Tiffany engagement rings picked out just in case he wanted to propose. And now he's the Alex Beh who's the latest member of The Exes of Jennifer Love Hewitt Club that meets once a week in the basement of a church and bowls together as a team every Sunday afternoon.
We can all sit here and type that JLove needs to put the STOP in desperate, but this is just her way. She gets a man, drools nauseating love hearts all over him, proclaims to the world that he's better than nipple cream and when the relationship ends she uses her tears to stick rhinestones onto her vagina before she finds another man. Barf, rinse, repeat, etc...
Ho is probably uttering out an "I love you" right now to the valet at the vajazzle salon.
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Submitted by mike on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 7:52pm.
That dress makes me think "Hollywood Trophy Wife" circa 1986.
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Preeee-cisely what she was going for.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Well, Kirstie Alley was just quoted as saying that since she's been on DWTS, she's "almost a size 6!", so considering JLH says she's a size 2, I think they can both join the Delusional Club.
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GERONIMO!
Ho needs to lay off the public relationships/engagements.
What exactly does she do besides vajazzle her vajayjay, write insipid books about relationships (the irony), and never dress correctly for her body type.
Sounds like she and JSimpleton are cut from the same cloth.
i don't know... i still think that she's pretty... crazier than a shit house rat, but... in my book, she's pretty.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I hate this bitch... she's right up there with Jessica Simpson for me. They both never shut the fuck up and constantly give interviews about how in love they are with whatever guy they're banging at the time. It makes it all the more enjoyable when they inevitably break up with the guy and the cycle repeats with the next bottom tier quarterback/any guy with a guitar and a MySpace fanpage/glorified extra who did one episode of One Tree Hill 3 years ago.
haha, if she is fat i'd like to see skinny. balenciaga she's quite perfect. Fat I think not.
JLH has to be the most attractive dumb person I've ever seen.
talk to julia roberts, she found a regular person to stick around with.
there are plenty of ppl to talk to that aren't around LA
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 8:16pm.
Why do we have to use all three of her names? Complete bullshit.
Let's go with...that her mom could only narrow it down to two guys who might be her father, one named Love, the other Hewitt.
That is a very odd and unflattering dress.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
She (and Jen Aniston) suffer from Monica Lewinsky Syndrome.
Meaning, they've been publicly dumped so many times that no guy will make a commmitment to them, because they don't want to be seen as being with a girl so many other guys didn't want.
Like Monica...no guy would take her home to mom because she PUBLICLY gave a bj!
Never mind that she blew the POTUS....it was better to marry the girl who blew 100 loser frat boys in the bar bathroom PRIVATELY, so mom (and they) would never know.
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GERONIMO!
Why do we have to use all three of her names? Complete bullshit.
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
I'm just mad that her foundation is ALWAYS geisha-geish. Makes me wanna sic the Mary Kay lady on her ass...
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Gah. I know someone just like that, too, minus the engaged part (thank Jeebus). He goes from relationship to relationship and alwaysss puts the chick up on a pedestal like she is the best thing since sliced bread, though she is often has the personality of a smelly gym sock. A month in and he's already planning on moving in with whoever the girl-of-the-moment happens to be. Or plans on moving across the country to be with her. Or some crazy shit like that. He is full on and if he were a girl he'd probably go get bejazzled. haha
Sad thing is, I'm in love with him and I'm just about the ONLY trick on this Coast who he HASN'T dated! Even though he likes me. What the fuck?
This dress...NOT flattering. She should put those things away before she pokes someone's eye out.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 7:52pm.
That dress makes me think "Hollywood Trophy Wife" circa 1986.
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I see curtains. Or napkins. Or hotel towels.
Or a wedding gown train.
That dress makes me think "Hollywood Trophy Wife" circa 1986.
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 7:44pm.
I have a guy friend exactly like her. He's a serial engager. I think he's been engaged at least 4 times, and he will date a woman for about 8 months and then break up with her.
I've told this story before, but I used to know this guy (well, I still know him but he doesn't like me as it got back to him that I was telling "you won't believe this guy I know" stories) who's recently turned forty and been married AND DIVORCED four times. As a matter of fact, he's currently engaged.
Fortunately he's had no children.
Why does she wear the most unflattering outfits?? Let's add 10 inches to either side of my hips.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
That dress reminds me of the toilet paper thread from the other night.
Except I would have designed it so that one side folds over and one folds under, to address the Eternal Question.
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BITCH BE GUILTY!
I get told I look just like her, which annoys me because I find her to be insufferable and plain ass needy!
I have a guy friend exactly like her. He's a serial engager. I think he's been engaged at least 4 times, and he will date a woman for about 8 months and then break up with her.
In my friend's case, I think he's in the closet. I don't know what JLH's prob is.
Lordy that dude is FUUUUUUG-LYYYYYYYYYYYY!
parissucks and mike,
Urban Sprawl.
(New song title/concept for John Mayer?)
Wonder if her weight has something to do with the break up. She seems to get really fat just before her break ups happen.
Ding Dong...I AGREE! WTF was that about? I think he is an abusive fucker and shes addicted to the money and now that they are having "Money problems" she is finding it hard to look into her Christian heart to put up with his shit! what do you think??
Also Icki Vicki and Tamra are just nasty whores...Id like to smack the shit out of them.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 7:20pm.
I believe she claims to be a size 2. (giggles)
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She must shop in the same store when Kirstie Ally gets her size 6 clothing...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Guess the bitch will be staring at those rings through the glass and go home to cry herself to sleep cause dude was like "bitch, don't rush me!" LOL, GOOD FOR HIM!. I bet this lovesick tramp recites wedding vows at bed time to fall asleep. She's embarrassing and I don't know why I breaked from readings to get nauseous in this post of her. ugh
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
mike, it is certainly a "biggerland" than it used to be.
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It's hard to tell you all the love I'm feeling
That's just not my style
You got a way to set my senses reeling
Every time you smile, whoa
-Firefall "You Are The Woman"
I believe she claims to be a size 2. (giggles)
The bit about her body being a wonderland is getting harder and harder to believe.
Alex Behhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhter go fuck himself with a last name like that!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
What on earth is she wearing?
On @NBCTheVoice I coach rising stars. At @wefeedback I give hungry children a chance. You can too right here: http://bit.ly/hE6hEN @WFP - Xtina
http://ramblingsofabrokenmind.blogspot.com/
I just looked up her romance resume and Homer's The Odyssey was a shorter read.
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_1162/jennifer-love-hewitt/
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
I hate HATE bitches that once they get a new man, they completely change and become attached to the hip of their lovers. Fucking disgusts me.
Off topic but fucking Alexis's mental breakdown on Real Housewives shit bc her husband wasn't there is bull shit! You cant even function on your own without your "other half" Gross barf
basic cable Jennifer Aniston... classic
Why is this even news? Does anyone care?
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
i wonder if the guys actually dump HER and she is just faster to call the tabloids to say that it was her the one who broke things off...some guys especially if they are sick of the bitch would not waste time to share their version and let everyone know the real truth.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
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He looks like a freshman in HS! and she is FAT FATTY FAT!! she claims to be a size 4, but trust, i saw photos of her today and she is huge as Hell.
This girl is far more pathetic than JA on her worst day. Having engagement rings picked out? Seriously? Try being single for awhile, honey.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Why is she carrying bed sheets around with her?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
lol
it was a long time coming...in a few decades JLove will end up ALONE and mumified next to a working heater in her Beverly Hills mansion if she keeps this serial broken engagement shit up. She is not getting any younger or more beautiful anyway. And she won't be a size 2 (LOL) forever.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
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GROSS!!!!
He looks like a freshman in high school, and she is so fucking huge pear shaped fat torso she has to wear a dress like that.
she claims shes a size 4? only on top, b/c I just saw photos of her today and she is FAT!!