And Jennifer Love Hewitt's On To The Next Man
That cracking sound you heard was from a dozen of Jennifer Love Hewitt's friends breaking their eye bones (YES, we have eye bones) from rolling so hard after seeing that she has called them after a year of silence. Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt is forever that friend who isn't even trying to have contact with you while she's got a man but will stick to you like sperm on a Duggar ovary when she doesn't. Well, JLove's friends will have to pry her off with whatever you use to pry size 2 clingers off of you, because she's single again. The basic cable Jennifer Aniston has let it be known to UsWeekly that she has quit it with her boyfriend of a year Alex Beh.
This is the same Alex Beh who JLove said brought her flowers every day. It's also the same Alex Beh who knew that JLove already had three Tiffany engagement rings picked out just in case he wanted to propose. And now he's the Alex Beh who's the latest member of The Exes of Jennifer Love Hewitt Club that meets once a week in the basement of a church and bowls together as a team every Sunday afternoon.
We can all sit here and type that JLove needs to put the STOP in desperate, but this is just her way. She gets a man, drools nauseating love hearts all over him, proclaims to the world that he's better than nipple cream and when the relationship ends she uses her tears to stick rhinestones onto her vagina before she finds another man. Barf, rinse, repeat, etc...
Ho is probably uttering out an "I love you" right now to the valet at the vajazzle salon.
• 
There have been rumors and blind items that she is terrible in bed and very self conscious. Straight sex, lights off, and boring. Supposedly she doesn't want any guys to see her naked. Maybe every guy tires of the same 'ol same 'ol after a year....
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Submitted by K2 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 6:37am.
Why do people think that everyone meets their perfect "soulmate" before their 40th birthday!? And if you dont , then there's something wrong with you.
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Your entire post was great and i just wanted to say I LUUUUUUVVVVVVVSSS YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Seriously i love when people say what i feel but am too stupid to put into words.
Maybe she bedazzled him with her glittery private bits and he had to go to the ER. Nothing kills love like bloody private parts.
8====D~~( . Y . )!!!!
_____________________________________________________________________ I see you galavanting around town with damsel I admire and I propose Copulate Thyself ..and Copulate Her additionally!
I love me some JLH tv movies or Ghost Whisperer when I have PMS. I hope she starts a new series soon.
Not sure what her problem is but she sure picks ordinary looking guys. It gives me hope I might be able to pick her up sometime. I would hit that from every angle I could think of.
This one has the codependency disease.
Submitted by Abusive Exclusive on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:23am.
Osama death pic for all you lovers
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Looks shopped
Edit: Thanks CokeyBloke :)
What the hell does she have on?
Submitted by Abusive Exclusive on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:23am.
Osama death pic for all you lovers
http://www.tediosity.com/2011/05/03/the-real-osama-bin-laden-dead-photo/
Your welcome
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WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY did I click this? That was fucking disgusting. I would have rathered a virus.
Now, that's GOT to be him right?
Whafuckyoutoo said
t ****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Better that she dump/be dumped than to marry and end up divorced. Why do people think that everyone meets their perfect "soulmate" before their 40th birthday!? And if you dont , then there's something wrong with you. Shit, maybe some people enjoy the chase, the beginning of the romance, and then get bored afterwards. Or maybe the men she picks have huge flaws of their own and after giving them the benefit of the doubt, she realizes she's better off without them.
It doesnt matter how much money these celebrity bitches make, if the poor thing isnt married, she's a labeled a no good spinster.
It's even more shameful when it's other women doing the judging.
Golddigga: that's funny as hell.
Alex Bleah
I'm sure it goes without saying, but any woman who publicly or privately admits to picking out engagement rings a la JLH or Kim Kardashian is SCREAMING desperation.
Seems to me that so many gorgeous women are sadly insecure, when scads of fairly homely ones have confidence to spare. Not that they shouldn't.
Christ, she likes the men doesn't she? I like my cigarettes, but I take em out of my mouth occasionally
Submitted by Abusive Exclusive on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:23am.
Osama death pic for all you lovers
Wow and I thought I had a bad hair day!!
next victim....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Women need to act stupid and helpless to keep a man sometimes. I know it sounds pitiful but I think Hewitt is too smart for her own good. She needs to dumb it down a little bit.
What in the world is she wearing? It's like it has napkins for dinner stitched in.
Osama death pic for all you lovers
http://www.tediosity.com/2011/05/03/the-real-osama-bin-laden-dead-photo/
Your welcome
I bet one day she'll wish to re-write her dating book cause she's got it all wrong as most women do!!
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Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 12:22am.
Good luck finding love in this world.
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I feel that way, too, sometimes (most of the time, lol ;)
Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 12:22am.
"Good luck finding love in this world."
Disappointed much? Just hang in there, because it does exist. It sometimes is just not all that it's cracked up to be, but then again, we live in an imperfect world altogether.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Good luck finding love in this world.
I don't think that she's a slut per se, just one of those delusionals who inhaled too many romance novels and is still looking for THE ONE-who-treats-her-like-a-princess as a result. I do pitty her friends though, because she strikes me as the ultimate self-absorbed whiner. Thank God for caller ID.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Who the fuck is that guy and why the hell do her arms and tits look so weird?
She dated that guy from LFO, Rich Cronin, who passed away from cancer late last yr. He gave what is probably THE most hilarious interview on Howard a few years ago. The whole thing is great but I laughed my ass off when he described how demanding, prissy and manipulative JLH was. A real piece of work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX9Mbk8I-MI&feature=related
Submitted by MissBish on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 9:57pm.
I can't hate on someone who is really a slut but does it in a monogamous way.
hahahaha. I guess you could say, "I was totally faithful to this guy all last weekend."
My guess is the dude got tired of treating the lacerations on his peen from her sparkling vagina.
Another victim of the Curse of John Mayer. Once your lady bits have been touched by the King of the Douches, you will then fall victim to lesser douches, who will each take a piece of your soul, one by one, eventually leaving nothing but an empty shell where a vibrant woman should be. John Mayer is the kind of douche you can never wash off.
I didn't even know she was with this guy. She's really off the radar now. I never did get the big deal with her back in the time of Can't Hardly Wait and that was how many years ago?
Doesn't she have enough money to buy herself a husband, like Mooriah?
I'm sorry what did you say? My eyes can't stop staring at those hideous bows!!
She must be a real pain in the ass.
No one wants to have a thing to do with her after a while.
These three girls are all the same.
JLove, JSimpson, JAniston.
Except, the first two get guys when they are thin, then relax and cook, go out to dinner, have fun with their guys and get fat!
The relationships last awhile because they are all having fun, until the guys are suddenly like, WHOA, thar she blows, there I blow it off....
JAniston is a fat girl in a thin girl's body.
Her relationships are super short because she's no fun, she knows if she's not starving and working out 24-7, she'll get fat and the guy will dump her, and they end up dumping her anyway because she is no fun.
She should just change her name, get fat and move to Cleveland.
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GERONIMO!
These three girls are all the same.
JLove, JSimpson, JAniston.
Except, the first two get guys when they are thin, then relax and cook, go out to dinner, have fun with their guys and get fat!
The relationships last awhile because they are all having fun, until the guys are suddenly like, WHOA, thar she blows, there I blow it off....
JAniston is a fat girl in a thin girl's body.
Her relationships are super short because she's no fun, she knows if she's not starving and working out 24-7, she'll get fat and the guy will dump her, and they end up dumping her anyway because she is no fun.
She should just change her name, get fat and move to Cleveland.
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GERONIMO!
She's like a Chia Pet, except she grows a wedding dress and her owner takes her to the pound.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by kndall44 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 9:24pm.
Gah, hell yeah she's approaching Jen Aniston territory...
Kryptonite to men.
Re. the size 2 issue, vanity sizing, aka JCrew/Chicos/OldNavy 'generous' sizes have taken over. Now every overweight person can be a size 2. (instead of size 14+).
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Amen to that...it's scary.
I'm 20 lbs overweight right now, so I went to Old Navy to buy a few cheap things to hold me over until I can lose it over the next 3-4 mos and fit into my normal clothes, and the size 4 jeans were not loose, but roomy on me!
Disgusting.
As it stands now, at my normal weight I would be an Old Navy size 0 and my normal weight is not skinny, just slim to average.
It is getting to the point that when I watch old movies I worry about the actresses being totally anorexic because I am so used to seeing fucking FAT PEOPLE!!!!
I mean, if I am 20 lbs overweight and an Old Navy size 4, who the hell wears the 14's??!!
I might even mention that I am a WOMAN, with all the wanted and unwanted curves, in my 40's, and tweens and teenagers are buying these jeans!
I can't even wear Walmart clothes, they don't go below size 4, and their size 4 is about 4 sizes too big for me!
(I tried them first, because I am too cheap to buy fat clothes.)
People of Walmart, sigh...
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GERONIMO!
Taking another look at her...that dress...are those built in saddle bags to hide her real saddle bags?
I think she fucked him to death.
She must have low self esteem because she always dates losers, and then the losers are always the one who dump her instead of the other way around. Sad
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Gah, hell yeah she's approaching Jen Aniston territory...
Kryptonite to men.
Re. the size 2 issue, vanity sizing, aka JCrew/Chicos/OldNavy 'generous' sizes have taken over. Now every overweight person can be a size 2. (instead of size 14+).
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 9:03pm.
i don't know... i still think that she's pretty... crazier than a shit house rat, but... in my book, she's pretty.
I agree that she is pretty -- no she isn't the size 2 she claims to be, and she certainly isn't the typical scary-skinny, bobble-head LA actress, but I wouldn't call her fat either -- she's "LA fat" not actually fat.
She can't dress for shit tho & has the worst taste in men. She does reek of desperation ala JA ("basic cable JA" is classic but really, JA is the one who got JLH's sloppy seconds with that douche Mayer), which is totally pathetic. You can tell she's the kind of girl who will marry ANYONE who asks her & is dumb enough to go through with it. Seriously, I expect to read she is writing to cons in the near future.
No Way! A year- she just broke up with Jamie Kennedy
a couple days ago....how'd she fuck THAT up???
And this guy, freakishly, looks just as ugly as Kennedy. She's scraping bottom, kids.
I was just laughing at some of the other comments comparing her to Jessica Simpson, which I agree with, one thing the both of those women do is get into a relationship when they're thin, get fat, and then give interviews saying "So and so loves me just the way I am!"
Then, the guy dumps them because they don't want to get stuck with a fatass for the rest of their lives.
They stay on the gravy train for awhile, though.
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GERONIMO!
@ PerOne
Haha sorry but she is just the one celebrity that gets on my nerves... I can even take Fishsticks, just not Jennifer Love Hewitt. I don't care who she bangs, but I just don't need to see her blathering on and on about how affectionate they are with each other, what engagement rings she's picked out, how she's qualified to write a book about dating advice, etc.
PerOne....maybe not, but she's certainly not a size 2, as she claims. I'm a size 3...she's not smaller than I am.
@ LaChaylo
The way she dresses bugs me so much too! Her and Jessica Simpson need to take a seat next to Mariah Carey in the "I Only Wear Ill Fitting Clothes" Club.
Callan calm down, who gives a shit if the next idiot plows her box?