It seems like it was just yesterday when proud virgin Jordin Sparks was flashing her purity ring and preaching about how not every single person out there wants to be a big slut (I resemble that comment!). And now here’s a skinnier version of Jordin Sparks busting out moves that can only be taught at Miley Cyrus’ Bathroom Mirror Modeling School (Tagline: “Train to be a bathroom mirror slut or just look like one!“).
Judging by this photographic dissertation Jordin Tweeted yesterday, you can tell she majored in Sessypoutlips and minored in Ricochetflasheyes. You can almost hear her professors, Vanessa Hudgens and Demi Moore, putting down their camera phones to give it up for Jordin for completing her thesis.
For a graduation gift, I will melt down Jordin’s purity ring, mold it into the words “Fat Virgin No More” and attach it to a belly ring she can wear for her next bathroom mirror pictorial!