Jason Sudeikis Isn't Saying Shit
When January Jones announced out of nowhere that she's pregnant with her first child ("You'll never make it as a baby in this town!!!" - Ashton Kutcher to January's fetus), most of us subliminally threw her a "You've been Sudeikis'ed" side-eye like the one Julia Louis-Dreyfus is delivering in the picture above. January hasn't said which dude got an awkward call in the middle of the night that started with "Um, so remember when you said that maybe a little dribbled out?", but the baby-making suspects have been narrowed down to Jason Sudeikis, Lil Wayne (Lil Wayne is always a suspect in cases like this), Bobby Flay and one of Benicio Del Toro's rogue sperm fishes that jumped out of Kimbo Stewart's ovary chamber and hid in the nearest safe place (aka January's ovary chamber).
The Washington Post slyly tried to get more information out of one of the suspects at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and the awkward conversation went something like this.
When I asked if he had any comment on the recent news about Jones, who split with Sudeikis back in January, he said, “I’d rather — yes but no.”Was he surprised to find out she was pregnant?
“No, I —,” then he paused and stammered. “No, I didn’t have anything [else to say].” He stammered some more.and that was the extent of our conversation on the subject. Sudeikis seemed comfortable being asked about the situation, just unwilling to say too much.
Stuttering. Nervously shuffling around. Tripping over words. BITCH BE GUILTY! Those are the actions of a man who is already preparing himself for a future visit from an 18-year-old with a Frankenforehead and a past due child support invoice in hand.
Or maybe Jason is saving all of his energy and emotions for when he has to bust out a "You're Not The Father" jig after January's baby comes out with ginger hair and a three layer salsa chin.
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oh i so would with bobby flay...but i think he only likes the blondies :) he totally has a type and this girl is his type and his wife is sooo boring when she comes on his show to help him cook...no wonder he creeps...
Ugh. I'm just pissed about Mad Men not coming back on the air! Couldn't she have just gotten it sucked out? I mean, really! If this fucks up Mad Men's schedule, I say write the bitch out! Hahhahahahaha! "Here we are now, entertain us."
Let's see if he sticks around to take help take care of the baby.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
"Um, so remember when you said that maybe a little dribbled out?".
Hahahah! Of course, I've never said this. That's why it's so funny. The unfamiliarity. Honest.
Back to the subject of paternity - ever since Liz Hurley had an ugly public argument with that Bing turd, celebs with 'surprise pregnancies' have been reluctant to name the papa.
Can't blame them.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Seriously, if you're an up-and-coming pretty actress with questionable talent get on the pill or only fuck dudes much richer and more famous than you. If she was smart she'd be fucking a Sean Penn or Benecio del Toro type who could move her up on the ladder by being the baby daddy, not soon to be former SNL cast members and married food network chefs.
jeebus is anyone in hollyweird not knocked up?
Come on, people, it's obvious. Serial impregnator K-Fed did it.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 11:39am.
I'll always have a warm spot in my heart for this shameless whore due to her line as "Jeannie" in the WI bar in "Love Actually": "And... he's a Christian!"
OMG That was HER?? She really shouldn't be given more then one line at a time. She's horrible on Mad Men.
I'll always have a warm spot in my heart for this shameless whore due to her line as "Jeannie" in the WI bar in "Love Actually": "And... he's a Christian!"
Scene (starts at 6:44): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OYHtcI6P0g&feature=related
I heard Verne Troyer is the father. Go figure!
The Bobby Flay thing was in June of last year, so unless they're still knocking boots, it's not his.
This bish boiled Bobby Flay's baby carrot in her pressure cooker...ick, nast.
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"You sound not naturally beautiful"
Fancy's Big Surprise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3r5BLdqxig
Fancy's Big Surprise Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4we9Ivg9M
I don't watch the show she's on, but at least she doesn't have to worry about having them shoot around her pregnancy. Blake Lively can just fill in for a few months and no one will notice.
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"Can't you just be satisfied with if I'm wrong about god, I'll burn in hell?"
I had totally forgotten about the Bobby Flay affair.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....DA Cabbott is going to kill that ginge.
IDK who the fuck this asshole is.
Not that she's anything special, but she sure likes them fug. Jason Sudeikis looks like someone's awkward joke-telling dad.
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Douchechill!
I kind of like this woman just because she made Ashton Kutcher look like a bigger doucherocket than he already is.
Hopefully she'll have a boy so she can use that awful blue dress to make some lovely nursery curtains.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
If Bobby cheated with this no talent trash, I will personally kick his ginger butt. Team Stephanie March!!!!!
It's Bobby Flay's kid!
Submitted by chasing windmills on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:42am.
We gotta go back and search the past d-list gossip because she was caught doing the walk of shame after a night out for some function. Maybe it was after a car crash. Or a park and walk. I know I remember reading something about her here, I just can't remember when. It would be so juicy if it was a random one nighter.
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I think that was Flay-gate. She hit somebody and called Bobby Flay to come get her ass. Eyewitness were like "wtf, that is somebody else's husband". Flay said they just met that night. Riiiiggggghhhhhttttt. So I guess he was claiming she drunk dialed him but she says she wasn't drunk. But anywho, she is THAT chick. The one booty call you will live to regret. Drama.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
We gotta go back and search the past d-list gossip because she was caught doing the walk of shame after a night out for some function. Maybe it was after a car crash. Or a park and walk. I know I remember reading something about her here, I just can't remember when. It would be so juicy if it was a random one nighter.
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:30am.
Is the left side of her face sliding off or am I just having an acid flashback? Meeeeellltiiiiing
I didn't notice that until you pointed it out. WTF? It looks like she had a stroke.
lol gobbler!! Her eye and cheek look lower than the other side. That is some Black Hole Sun shit!
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:30am.
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! The walls are BREATHINGOMG!
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Is the left side of her face sliding off or am I just having an acid flashback? Meeeeellltiiiiing
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 8:52am.
We need a special celebrity edition Maury with January's baby, Prince Hot Ginge, and Suri Cruise.
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Please add Kourtney Kardashian to that list because I will forever believe that her real dad is Mexican.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
She hooked up with the Manning brothers?
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Hmmmm...she told him she was pregnant but that it wasn't his. She then asked him not to say anything more because it was a delicate situation and she couldn't deal with the stress in her condition.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Hopefully the father is someone that can afford to buy the mama some new, enlarged titty balls!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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MK wrote: "Um, so remember when you said that maybe a little dribbled out?",
THIS. Made me laugh so farking HARD.
Aw, Jesus, it's a SUCH a good day today.
I have it on good authority that it's Prince von A-Hole's bebbeh.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/04/13/prince-von-ahole-van-anhalt-baby-child-kid...
MY MOTHER IS A CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!!
That is all, now back to you regular programming.
Wow, seems like there's several suspects. I knew Miss I'm So Pretty had major issues. But now's she's manufactured this drama to get attention from the men in her life?? Cuz I'm pretty certain birth control still works. She will not be ignored, Jason, Bobby, Manning brothers, Jeremy Piven, pizza delivery guy, grip on the set of Mad Men, etc.
Line up and prepare to submit a swab.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Sorry, totally off topic, but I can't hold it in anymore. Jennifer Lopez is hawking her new album all over morning tv. Holy crap, what an absolute SHITFEST!! Just painfully bad.
With his land-mass forehead and her phallic nose, that poor child would be visiting Dr 90210 before it is 5 years old.
Has anyone yet speculated that January Jones is the blind item from a few weeks ago? Some "up and coming" actress who got knocked up and wasn't sure whether or not to have the baby?
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
She also spent a drunken nite with teeny dicked Piven, maybe he has active sperm in his lil weenie?
Maury better be testing the Manning brothers. My dollars are on Peyton.
Potato-nosed whore. The only times she ever looks pretty is when she's gussied up as Betty Draper.
tea cup tits... I like it.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
who is that Jason dude?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Ok, she's not even pretty. Certainly not pretty enuff to get picked on. Sorry, I'm still stuck on all that. Can we ask her some more questions ~ I get a feeling she might be a good replacement for Professor Whoreface who's, sadly, gone so quiet since she fucked up her career (apparently)
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
I sure as shit wouldn't be claiming paternity with someone who's as whorey as a boring Nilla wafer could be.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
MK, that picture of Flay totally looks like Rojo Caliente!! Escandolo!
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
He's invisible even on that suckfest known as SNL.
Betty Draper is a dope.
We need a special celebrity edition Maury with January's baby, Prince Hot Ginge, and Suri Cruise. I can't keep up with these people. I think we're only a few generations away from rampant inbreeding in Hollyweird because everyone has kids with everyone and nobody knows who their real daddy is. Which makes the Cyruses trendsetters. Scary, huh?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
The top of the dress looks like an egg carton. Not flattering.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
next time use a condom...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Not exactly a great career or parenting move for her. But maybe being a mom will stop her from WHORING AROUND?
He doesn't look like he likes ladies in that way.
And what is with her dress?? Did she tell them that she wanted something that looked like a giant peacock feather and that would make her boobs look as small as possible?