Seen here dressed like a Nascar parking lot hooker who is always talking about how she’s trying to get to Las Vegas to become a dancer in a big time classy-like stage show (SPOILER ALERT: She ends up working as a morning-shift cashier at strip club in Henderson), Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’ 17-year-old daughter Tallulah Belle was caught with a bottle of the sweet nectar in Hollywood at around 11pm last night. If your stepfather is Ashton Kutcher, you should legally be allowed to drown the fact that your stepfather is Ashton Kutcher with booze. It should say that on alcohol labels right next to the part about how it’s wrong to marinate your fetus with whiskey.
TMZ says that Tallulah and two of her friends were getting out of a car when the cops noticed their stupid asses carrying two bottles of booze. Since Tallulah and both of her friends are underage, the cops cited them all with underage possession. The cops refused to release them back into the wild on their own, so Demi had to take a moment out from injecting her face with liquefied plastic baby parts to pick her up.
Sure, we can all say that Tallulah is as thick as her battering ram chin for not getting drunk in the dark part of her garage the same way we did when we were 17, but that’s not the extra dumb part. The extra dumb part is that they were a) driving and b) they didn’t even try to hide their booze bottles while out in public. We’re all taught at a very young age that if you’re going to get drunk outside of a bar or house, put your vodka in a water bottle or some kind of container that isn’t clear. This is the DUH of all DUHs! Even BABIES know this! I swear, Tallulah deserves several swats to the chin for that dumb move alone.