While Becks high-pitched perky demeanor matched his “young Shirley Temple on fast forward” voice, Posh was pretty much the opposite at that one wedding this morning. Who farted lard into the bowl of nothing Posh eats every morning? Posh was probably hating life more than usual because she couldn’t show off her size negative ten praying mantis body due to the bountiful mound of baby stuck to the front of her body. But Posh tried to make it work by gluing a giant blue Tic Tac to her head and covering her body with one of the navy tablecloths from my 9th grade winter formal (the theme was “Paris at Midnight” – GAG).
But if Posh did make the sliver of a tiny smile with her mouth, they would’ve shut that wedding down and the country would’ve declared a national emergency. When Posh’s permacunt ass smiles, we all pile into the safe houses.