Liveblogging: The Prince Hot Ginge Show (AKA The Royal Wedding)!!!!

I finally made it to Texas after a million delays and unfortunately I didn't score any street meth like I hoped I would. But some drunken trick in torn jean coochie cutters and a midriff outside of my hotel told me I looked like a "white Bruno Mars" so that was pretty much the only mind altering fuckery I needed this morning. And on to more mind altering fuckery, below is my liveblog of the Royal Wedding Spectacular Extravaganzzzzzz(emphases on the "zzzz")a with The Morton Report. I can't promise that I won't pass out in a puddle of my own slobber and start morningdreaming about skipping through my own saliva pools with Prince Hot Ginge and that wedding cake-wearing puppy. Actually, that sounds better.

But I'll try my best to NOT do that. My own royal wedding drinking game should help with that. Every time The Queen starts open mouth snoring or PHG throws a "Where is the open bar?" look, I'll take a shot of the complimentary facial cleanser in the bathroom (there's no suitable booze in this joint). Now on to this mess (my ass is watching NBC, by the way)!

<a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php?option=com_mobile&task=viewaltcast&altcast_code=dfa4984c20" >Morton Report Live Blogs the Royal Wedding</a>

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by equalityrules24 on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 8:45am.

MK you have wonderful taste Harry is indeed a delicious hot ginge who needs to be rode hard and put away wet.

Submitted by equalityrules24 on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 7:50am.

Ugh total stud .

Submitted by maureenwn on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 3:51am.

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Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:07am.

Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:17am.

I'm in tears :( Kate looked sooooo beautiful. Wills looked like a bald accountant, Harry looked like a concierge at a Parisian hotel and Pippa needs me to sperm over her hair and face. That's all from me.

haaaaaaaaaaaaa. Nice summary.

* * * * * * * * * *
White Wedding

Submitted by Terri on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:00am.

Submitted by Cunty McTwat on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:09am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:57am.

The Middleton's remind me of the Boleyn family.

_______________________________________________

I disagree, the Boleyn's were much more fun and gave us Mary Boleyn, the hottest slut of them all! Only Mary could brag that she banged the King of France and the King of England. I'm sure she would've gotten to the rest of the kings, but transportation was a bitch in those days
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I'm descended from Mary Boleyn and allegedly her bastard child from King Henry.
No need to bow or curtsey.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:45am.

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 8:13am.

Ok, my husband and I had some questions this morning while watching the wedding. I thought that if you married a royal, and that royal takes the throne, you would never have the title "Queen," rather, you would always be a "Princess." In other words, you would have to be blue-blooded royalty to have the title of either King or Queen. If Kate will one day be a Queen, why doesn't Prince Phillip have the title of "King" if he is married to the Queen?
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The rule is that women take the titles of their husbands (blue blood or not). So Kate will be Queen one day regardless of her birth. However, it doesn't work the same way when the woman is the one on the throne or has the biggest title. The man can only aspire to be a Prince Consort or a Duke like Prince Phillip. I say it's discrimination, but it has been done like that for centuries. Camilla is the only exception and will never get the title Princess of Wales or Queen because she was a divorced slut. They allowed her to marry Charles with that condition. But screw the title she will still be married to a King anyway and with the hold she has over him probably will influence everything he does.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:19am.

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 8:13am.

Don't know the ins and outs but Philip is blue blood Royalty, but he's Greek and had to give up his titles I believe. I think not being British is why he is Prince. "Catherine" gets to be Queen.

Submitted by Granny Clampett on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:02am.

Chelsy Davies brought that little touch of white trash that this wedding was desperately in need of! woot!

"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West

Submitted by ploppsicle on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:59am.

Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:26am.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:19am.

And what about Jodie Marsh, Harvey, gypsy weddings?! Pure elegance! I for one am proud to be British!

Submitted by from athens on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:52am.

Submitted by Cunty McTwat on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:09am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:57am.

The Middleton's remind me of the Boleyn family.

_______________________________________________

Submitted by fookyoo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:48am.

I just had to yell "Doors to manual" as Mrs Middleton enters the Abbey.... couldn't help myself.

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:43am.

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:24am.

Submitted by Cunty McTwat on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:09am

LMAO

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:03am.

El Bastardo:

What do I know? I'm just a skanky American!

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Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:56am.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:19am.

Like I always say:

If Britain didn't have the monarchy, the pound, and Wimbledon, no one would even go there.

WHAT? How dare you? What about jellied eels, fish and chips, great pubs, ME and spotted dick?

Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:53am.

*moved to 'kiss' thread* =P

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:49am.

I think she looked like a drag queen with all that makeup. Diana looked much more natural and feminine. Hmmph.

And I also think she looked too skinny. Her chest bones and neck looked scrawny as hell.

No.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:49am.

Like I always say:

If Britain didn't have the monarchy, the pound, and Wimbledon, no one would even go there.

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Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:47am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:43am.

Submitted by Cunty McTwat on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:09am.

Well, as far as opportunistic, back biters, and indeed, a watered down version of them.

I love the term for the Middleton girls, The Wisteria Sisters.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:40am.

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 7:07am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:57am.

Me too! Kate's even like a homelier Natalie Dormer. In fact that's what made me start comparing the two. I was watching the Tudors and realized that shit's happening in real life.

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If I were both the Queen and Charles, I would steer clear of staircases and food offered when the Middleton's are around.

Yes, Kate is a budget looking Natalie.

I miss The Tudors!

Submitted by Cunty McTwat on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:39am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:57am.

The Middleton's remind me of the Boleyn family.

_______________________________________________

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:40am.

I would pop, then pimp, Pippa!

and Pippa SHOULD cash in and start her own party business. How can she lose with royal lushes like Harry and Chelsy?

Chelsy looked like she woke up from a stupor then ran to the ceremony...fuck a shower, comb, dress that fits!

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Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:37am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:57am.

Me too! Kate's even like a homelier Natalie Dormer. In fact that's what made me start comparing the two. I was watching the Tudors and realized that shit's happening in real life.

Submitted by elmo533 on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:34am.

Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:41am.
I don't think I can suffer being here posting whilst you obese Americans diss my magnificent Royal Family from the porches of your trailers scoffing down huge quantities of burgers, KFC and pork rinds and washing it all down with enough beer to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool.
Soooooo, I'm going to sit in my regency armchair at my palatial London residence and watch it on my 84" TV with a nice sherry and smile at the proceedings.
God Save The Queen.

-------------------
LOLOLOl. Begging your pardon sir! I heard that the palace is upset that Pippa brought in a couple of huge disco balls for the party Charles is hosting tonight.

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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK

Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:31am.

Posh looks like she's wearing a hefty bag. Becks...very dapper.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:29am.

Meredith's fascinator looks like a merkin. Oh she took it off.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:27am.

The Middleton's remind me of the Boleyn family.

Submitted by Emeriesan on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:24am.

Kunty Karl is doing the live commentary on French TV!

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:20am.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:43am.

If he hasn't already

Submitted by Rabdkitty on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:19am.

Submitted by CranberryAppleGirl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:46am.
Wow. That was the kiss?! was no passion in either two kisses and both lasted about half a second

----------------

Should he finger her?

Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:19am.

*muah* Meredith Viera very disappointed. Matt wants to see a second one.

DWM...ITA. That bitch tho if she gets a piece of that! Lol.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

Submitted by Rabdkitty on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:18am.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:43am.
ANyone want to take bets that Harry bangs Kate's sister?

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I would bang her. She's gorgeous.

Submitted by CranberryAppleGirl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:16am.

Wow. That was the kiss?! was no passion in either two kisses and both lasted about half a second.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't care if you just suffered through a double leg amputation. When Prince orders you to move, you twerk those stumps with all your might. - Michael K

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:13am.

ANyone want to take bets that Harry bangs Kate's sister?

______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:11am.

I don't think I can suffer being here posting whilst you obese Americans diss my magnificent Royal Family from the porches of your trailers scoffing down huge quantities of burgers, KFC and pork rinds and washing it all down with enough beer to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool.
Soooooo, I'm going to sit in my regency armchair at my palatial London residence and watch it on my 84" TV with a nice sherry and smile at the proceedings.
God Save The Queen.

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:08am.

Submitted by CranberryAppleGirl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:21am.

Yeah they do enjoy it very much. I think the Middleton's will be the first inlaw family that will not go away. Sophie's family is never talked about, the Spencer's kept quiet, and Anne's first husband's family was never seen. That's one thing about marrying in to the Royals, you marry in to them completely. There's no sharing holidays, no inviting them to Sandringham. You're basically cut off from your family (with the exception of Camilla, but I don't think her children are allowed to Sandringham). I don't think the Middleton's realize that.

I have no doubt they will be pushing for titles soon. I heard Carole's up to something and Pippa's starting a party business. I guess the Queen has gone soft in her old age because she's never allowed anyone to cash in on them like the Middleton's have.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:03am.

Submitted by Hoegarten on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:22am.

Considering the Queen is 85, her posture seems fine to me.

Submitted by WinnieT on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:00am.

Did anyone else see the black woman with no front teeth, pushing her ass forward to be interviewed by the BBC? Bitch had no teeth and still didn't give two shits, she was going to be on TV and that's that.

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard

Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:58am.

Submitted by Hoegarten on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:22am.

There were lots of shots of Princess Beatrice's cleavage because she sat behind the Queen.

*********

Lmao.

Submitted by freestuffffff on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:58am.

So, seriously, these goons and the Rothschilds own everything, right? Amazing how a couple of families can, through centuries of slavery, genocide, and self-imposed inbreeding, accumulate such vast wealth.

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(c)2011, bitches.

Submitted by OXA on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:57am.

Love it, the crowd are crashing the barriers to get a better view of The Kiss.

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:56am.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 6:22am

Nah but she's good for a laugh. Plus you know homegirl is like one of us. She can drink and out party Harry (which is saying something).

Eh she's too good for the monarchy. They'd stifle her ass.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:58am.

Double post whoopsie.. i need to get ready for work
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:54am.

I wonder what Morrissey's bitchy ass thinks of these throngs of people that he said would laugh about it?

______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:53am.

Zara and Sam Cameron were the best dressed out of the fuggo that was that wedding. What was all the matchy matchy with the hats?

Can't wait for Zara's wedding. That will be the royal wedding I get excited about.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:53am.

Chelsy IS a hot mess! Ha. I missed the carriage ride...were they smiling finally?

"not so fast tom ryan..."

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:52am.

stake_spike:

I love Chelsy too and agree she is probably related to Britney Spears somehow, but would you really want this trick representing you in court?!

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Submitted by Rabdkitty on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:52am.

OMFG. The freaks outside are being interviewed on BBC.

Submitted by Hoegarten on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:52am.

Kate's hand was shaking when she was holding her father's hand at the alter. Westminster Abbey and the siging by the choir who actually knew the words to the hymn (unlike the guests) was very majestic.

There were lots of shots of Princess Beatrice's cleavage because she sat behind the Queen.

God saa-ve me.

And isn't the Royal Family supposed to have a Royal Gait and posture. Not a single on of them had good posture, not ven Prince William. They were all hunched over. Only commoner Kate and her family had good posture.

I liked Kate's dress. It grew on me. Initially I was like "That's it?" I thought she looked like a ghost at first.

Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"