Prince Hot Ginge’s Crotch Grab Closes My Royal Wedding Coverage (I PROMISE!)

With everyone’s idol Flower Girl Grace trying to stop the madness with her hands and this picture of Prince Hot Ginge checking up on his royal scepter, I can say with complete confidence that there’s nothing more to see here. Our work here is done! If you don’t believe me, stick a thermometer in my no-no to be sure. Yeah, you probably won’t ever see it again, but by the off chance you do, you’ll see that whatever Royal Wedding fever shit I was suffering from is now gone! I must now focus my energy on trying to find a coffin whose interior goes perfectly with the picture above. Don’t act like you didn’t know I was going to bond this picture to the inside of my coffin door so that I can ride it to the underworld. I like to plan ahead.

So with that, the party is over! Grab a centerpiece and fill your purse with plastic swans and Jordan Almonds before that sneaky shifty ginger Fergie crawls in to snatch ’em all for her eBay business. And since we’re on the subject of that mess Fergie, I also threw in some pictures of her daughters Princess Eugenie and Beatrice looking like they just fell out of the Big Business costume closet. The good thing is that Princess Beatrice’s hat will be donated to a middle school science class so that they can see what real life intestines look like.