Speaking Of Terrifying Royal Teefs…..

Some people choose to spend their hard-earned cash on neck acne treatment or tooth gloss, but this 29-year-old plumber from Bristol decided to hand over £1,000 for Prince Wills and Kate Middleton “gnasher tats.” Barmy Baz Franks’ (only a Barmy Baz Franks would do this shit) obsession with the royal wedding led him to a dentist chair where he spent 6 hours getting tiny decals of William & Kate pasted to the front of his chompers. Barmy Baz Franks will spend the next 3 months hearing “Oh, you’ve got a little royal in your teeth” from people who really want to say “Dumbass.”

I just used my credit card to buy my dog a pair of clearance bin bunny ears, so who am I to judge someone on how they should spend their coins? But really? If you’re going to turn your built-in Chiclets (or “mouth nails” as my little cousin calls them) into a tribute to our royal teethnesses, you could at least make sure it looks like them! Prince William looks like Sarah Jessica Parker as Black Swan and Kate Middleton looks like Iggy Pop after a root canal.

And does anybody know if this dentist also does royal decals on another part of the body that is pretty much dead and could use a little dressing up with Prince Harry’s face? <— That brings a whole new meaning to “gnasher tats.”