Afternoon Crumbs

If American Idol was a nipple-baring competition instead of a singing one, Jovany Barreto would totally score 2nd place (1st goes to Gaycrest always) – Towleroad

Posh is obviously only going to the royal wedding for the cake. Duh. – Lainey Gossip

Another day, another set of pictures of Kim Kardashian taking her double down ass to the nail salon. Is death by nail glue inhalation a thing (just say “yes“)? – The Superficial

It came from the seaaaaaa in threeeeees – Hollywood Tuna

Double the prune on Newsweek – Celebitchy

If any more talk of the royal wedding will make you gag on your own dry heaves, click to the right! – The Berry

Kristen Stewart modeling one of those hillbilly strapless bikinis (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Chinchilla’s gotta waddle hard for his (insert the name of whatever’s in that tube) – The Daily What

It’s Adrien Brody and that girl who could be Justin Bieber if Justin Bieber had a vagina (<— I set that joke up for you) – Just Jared

My Tia Lupita would like her cleaning house outfit back, RiRi, thankyouverymuch – Popoholic

EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK at Kate Middleton’s wedding dress! – The Hairpin

Bradley Cooper trades his beard in for a stache – Popsugar

Gather around, children, Auntie Gloria Allred is going to show you how baseball bat butt sex works – Boston Barstool Sports

Greasy Bear got busted – Popsugar

I think I see the face of Black Jesus or Black Virgin Mary on Akon’s knees – Crunk + Disorderly

Miranda Kerr’s diet tips don’t include getting as much lipo as possible and only licking on frozen lemon seeds – Hollywood Rag

JLo sits and spins – Cityrag

My guess is that Justin Bieber is going to play Marky Mark’s third nipple – I’m Not Obsessed